I really don't know what it must take to push someone over the edge and ctb. I can't imagine it would take more emotional pain, loneliness, and regret that I have now. This life really sucks. I have struggled with addiction almost my whole life with a few good years here and there, several actually, but have spent more of them in addiction. I just want out of here and every day I say this is going to be the day but for some reason (fear I guess) I don't go through with it. I can't believe my prayers are asking God to please let me hang myself or die in my sleep. BUT HERE MY WORDS, IT IS SOON, I can guarantee you that. This feeling is so bad that I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy and it breaks my heart to know that there are so many on here that feel this way.
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