Ambivalent1
🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
- Apr 17, 2023
- 3,279
I've been sleep deprived for over a year and now resemble Christian bale from The Machinist. I'm not as thin but my face is similar. He's exhausted, non expressive, no interest in things.
I think I'll fall asleep as I fall from the bridge. That's my hope. No more worries or stressTo me it looks like a few things
Having hollow eyes with heavy eye bags, not eating, sleeping, attending to hygiene, or talking. Pure and complete exhaustion with no rest in sight. Very harrowing living situation/room, trash and mold everywhere, access to substance abuse and SH, to name a few
It makes perfect sense.Too far gone to the point of return can mean that you don't ever see yourself being well or yourself again. You are too far gone out to come back up. I don't know if that makes sense.
This is me now. Pure exhaustion, hollow eyes with geavyveye bags. I look after myself but its a fight to survive. Everyday is a battle. I hate thisTo me it looks like a few things
Having hollow eyes with heavy eye bags, not eating, sleeping, attending to hygiene, or talking. Pure and complete exhaustion with no rest in sight. Very harrowing living situation/room, trash and mold everywhere, access to substance abuse and SH, to name a few
Makes sense too much has happened to me. Can't see a way back.It makes perfect sense.
Thats how I feel. My life is ruined aswell. I messed up didnt take opportunities and have gone further down. XI was broken before but now after my attempt with the tourniquet method my mind has gotten crazy. I used to have bouts of anger. I needed to take pills to help me. I took the medical drugs and I think they messed up my mind. I used to have these headaches and nausea when I didn't take them. I became crazier. Now if I couldn't go to school or get a job before, I definitely can't do that now. I messed up, my life is ruined and there's no way to fix it. I'm too far gone.
I dont know what to do everything has gone so wrong.Visibly, I've noticed it most in the eyes and face - the affect is flat, spark is gone from eyes, and smiles have to be forced.
The interest and curiosity in life, is gone.
No hope.
Even when opportunities arise, there is no drive to take them, to jump at them and try your hardest, because it is "too late anyway".
I feel the same noone can help meI was broken before but now after my attempt with the tourniquet method my mind has gotten crazy. I used to have bouts of anger. I needed to take pills to help me. I took the medical drugs and I think they messed up my mind. I used to have these headaches and nausea when I didn't take them. I became crazier. Now if I couldn't go to school or get a job before, I definitely can't do that now. I messed up, my life is ruined and there's no way to fix it. I'm too far gone.