Discussion What do you think about before you go to sleep?

[JayBot2005]

When your head hits the pillow and you lie there waiting for Mr. Sandman to work his magic, what do you think about?
I get very spiritual and call out to God in my mind asking him to save me from the darkness.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Can't sleep on back so I lay on my back and meditate for some long amount of time. Meaning I don't really ruminate about anything, just noting whatever sensations occur. Ofc some thoughts come, but they are related to meditating or just seen as objects of meditation.

If I think about anything it's the same as during the day. Just the same shit over and over again. "Should I kms?" "When?" "How can I survive another year?" "Can my life change at all?" "Let's compare myself to others..." "List everything wrong with society..." "Let's go over hard determinism again." "Tfw no gf." "Let's go through what randos said online that triggered me despite the fact that I know that they are wrong/incomplete in their analysis." "Okay, let's review religions/atheism for the 10000th time..." "Wouldn't it be cool if this happened? Wait, why are you crying?"

 

[Dreamlike Reality]

Usually when I'm trying to go to sleep I end up delving back into the same fantasies I'm always in. It's like falling asleep during a movie. Other than that I normally don't think of anything else other than my plans to die.
Your description of calling out to God seems cathartic in a way.

 

[Darkover]

go to sleep wishing i was dead wake up wishing i was dead been the same for 5 years now

 

[FuneralCry]

I always hope that I fall asleep and never wake up. I often have unpleasant thoughts about life, I dread everything and I overthink a lot. Whenever I start to have thoughts like these, I start to think about my death. Death is the one way to escape all of this as it is the end to all suffering. For me thinking about death is comforting.

 

[Snake of Eden]

I usually either think of how much my life sucks or imagine a fantastical life i could have like being rich and beautiful with great personality none of which i have irl

 

[Lupgevif]

About how it is taking so fucking long for me to fall asleep.

 

[JinZhin]

The usual "I hope I don't wake up" or how tomorrow will suck as well and I won't be able to cope

 

[meetapple]

I am usually hating the transition from wakefulness to sleep. I think how it would be nice to never wake up.

 

[NormaJeane]

In the state between wakefulness and sleep I think of the technique of the methods, the risk of failure and the ability to overcome the fear of dying (in a bad way).

 

[Quiet Desperation]

I numb myself to the pain during the day and stay up so late that I have no time to think. From the moment my head hits the pillow I am under within a minute or two.

 

[dss262]

I usually don't think about much because I'm watching videos until I pass out. It's the mornings that are hard.

 

[Mr2005]

Things that stop me from going to sleep hence why I'm here to answer this. Things like 2005 Jaybot and how I went left instead of right

 

[ClownMe]

I usually stress about waking up and being in hell again.

 

[demuic]

I don't think about anything usually as I only fall asleep when I'm too exhausted for my brain to function any longer.

 

[Insomniac]

I have vivid nightmares most nights (not that it answers your question).

 

[Elegy]

I think about.... Everything. Everyone I know, and have ever known. Everything that has ever happened in my life and in the world, and everything that may happen, now, or in the future.

I think about my death a lot too, when I doze off. I dreamed about my death, twice.

The first time, I was laying in a bed, in an upstairs room, in an old boarding house, in Victorian era England perhaps? The windows were open and lacy white curtains were softly billowing in the breeze. The sun was sinking low, and in my mind I could see the sunlight gleaming on copper colored cobblestone streets. And I could hear children off in the distance, laughing and playing, and I thought... this is my end. This is when and where I will die. And these happy playful kids I hear, will replace me. That is the way of things.

A lucid dream memory of a past life and death? Perhaps.

The second time, I was on a tall hill, and America was being bombarded with nuclear missiles. H-Bombs were exploding not far away, and I could see the mushroom clouds rising, and hear people shrieking in terror, and I knew I had only seconds left to live before the shock wave obliterated me.

And this begs the question; What would be your very last thoughts and words, when you know you're about to die?

In my case, I shouted out the name of my former fiancee. "I LOVE YOU MARIA!!!"

Sorry if I posted that story before. I'm old and senile and I guess it's important to me.

Now about how I am able to fall asleep without medication... usually I drink myself to sleep.
Also I put on headphones and play old movies and TV shows on my laptop which comfort me.
Lately that has been... Disney's Cinderella. 1950.
Very soothing movie

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I think about.... Everything. Everyone I know, and have ever known. Everything that has ever happened in my life and in the world, and everything that may happen, now, or in the future.

I think about my death a lot too, when I doze off. I dreamed about my death, twice.

The first time, I was laying in a bed, in an upstairs room, in an old boarding house, in Victorian era England perhaps? The windows were open and lacy white curtains were softly billowing in the breeze. The sun was sinking low, and in my mind I could see the sunlight gleaming on copper colored cobblestone streets. And I could hear children off in the distance, laughing and playing, and I thought... this is my end. This is when and where I will die. And these happy playful kids I hear, will replace me. That is the way of things.

A lucid dream memory of a past life and death? Perhaps.

The second time, I was on a tall hill, and America was being bombarded with nuclear missiles. H-Bombs were exploding not far away, and I could see the mushroom clouds rising, and hear people shrieking in terror, and I knew I had only seconds left to live before the shock wave obliterated me.

And this begs the question; What would be your very last thoughts and words, when you know you're about to die?

In my case, I shouted out the name of my former fiancee. "I LOVE YOU MARIA!!!"

Sorry if I posted that story before. I'm old and senile and I guess it's important to me.

I love the way you write about things… Keep going… More
This is my favorite time of the day… I can pretend that I'm immune from reality… And I'm thinking I hope this goes on and on and morning time never comes…

 

[xcaramel]

Usually when I'm trying to go to sleep I end up delving back into the same fantasies I'm always in. It's like falling asleep during a movie. Other than that I normally don't think of anything else other than my plans to die.
Your description of calling out to God seems cathartic in a way.

Me too I have preset fantasies that I relive over and over. Or I think of the time back when she was still alive and we were having fun and nothing happened. It's fun to relive the same fantasies. Sometimes a certain fantasy loses its sparkle so generating new ones can be difficult. In that case I usually put on some random YouTube content so that I don't have to listen to my inner thoughts and remember things I don't want to remember

 

[LONE WOLF.]

I lay in the dark and think about Bats flitting through the night sky and a group of dark furred wolves beneath them running as a pack towards a distant light!

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Annoyingly I tend to get lots of lofty thoughts of self-improvement right when I'm asleep and can't do anything to actually change my life, not that I'd want to because it's too much effort.

 

[motel rooms]

I brace myself for the nightmares of abuse that are about to begin.

 

[Elegy]

Keep going… More
This is my favorite time of the day…

Because, you and I both belong to twilight

 

[Adamsnolife]

Death.

 

[Death is beautiful]

I am glad that there is such a thing as sleep, I sleep for about 12 hours and in general it is good that there is something that gives a break from this life and stay a little in oblivion

 

[wanttogetonthebus]

How scared I am to go to sleep. Sleep is a lot of work for me, is unrestorative, and leaves me still quite fatiqued and unsatisfied. I dread it. And I dread having to live another day in misery.

 

[VoidDesirer22]

A combination between my ex and fantasies of having a super power, being a god, being rich, or being talented.

I brace myself for the nightmares of abuse that are about to begin.

Every night?

 

[SuccoDiGelato]

Death and him (he died)

 

[DivineMedicus]

Inventing clever tricks regarding how to kill myself with items in my room. Keeps my already-fatigued brain busy enough that I eventually fall asleep.

 

[bed]

all the things i've fucked up.
how i still haven't killed myself.
how i've wasted my life due to anxiety and depression.
how the biggest accomplishment of my day is eating a single meal of oatmeal.
knowing my chronic pain is something i'll experience for the rest of my life.
i think of her.
also hoping i have a dreamless night...for once.