
Hirokami
Out of order
- Feb 21, 2021
- 607
How depressing society is and that people can't be genuinely kind without wanting something from someone.
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When you feel completely empty, there's no room for sadness.What do you feel very sad about ?
I am not asking in relation to CTB, just what do you feel sad about the most in your life that you have no way of changing ?
For me, it's something I should have done that I was too cowardly / un-motivated to do.
I wish I could back and change it.
I feel exactly like you, that's exactly my thought process and everything. Feeling like it's impossible to fix everything but still trying sometimes and then feeling worse bc I realzie it won't work. Having a dysfunctional family really sucks.As of right now: Having a dysfunctional family. How every time I entertain the idea of recovery I really and truly reflect on my life and what I can do to change it and then realize how hopeless, hard and insurmountable it all is to the point where I give up before I even try. I've been trying to listen to motivational speakers and life coach hogwash nonsense and it's like fuck man I'm truly too far gone to fix my life.
I came across this and it really struck a chord with me. I am so sorry that this happened to you, you deserve so much more than this. I really hope that you and your son are doing ok. At the very least- he showed his true colours when you needed him the most- husbands tend to be very good at excelling at that…So much in the world. I can't even begin to cover it. Child abuse. Domestic violence. Racism. The divide between men and women. The destruction of nature. The destruction of our forests, the ocean, etc. The 6th mass extinction of all species we are living through right now - plants, birds, mammals, reptiles, all bugs and insects, fungi, even bacteria... nothing has been untouched. Pollution. Global warming. Etc etc etc.
In my life personally... my husband left me. 10 years gone. Just like that. He found out I had breast cancer, and left me for another woman and abandoned our son. Took my dog, too. Left me with nothing. I walk to the food bank now. During the holidays too. It's been... difficult is putting it mildly.
I'm just... tired. He's out living it up. And I'm... sad. I loved him with my whole heart but I guess it was the tits that made me worth anything to him.