pochii
Member
- May 27, 2023
- 41
I know this may sound stupid to ask but i'm never really good at knowing the probability of stuff.
I just have been kinda going numb and continuing life and working and just being idle. Idk if it's cause my meds or jsut cause i repress it but I haven't been feeling sad, in the sense that i don't feel down and like feel like crying. What i'm wondering if others also feel is the feeling of wanting to be sad again after just kinda going idle in life or from feeling numb from meds.
Being sad was comforting i think because i would close off from people and that way i couldn't hurt anyone or mess anything up. I just want everyone to be happy and i don't want them to have to worry or deal with me or me hurt them somehow so being closed off and alone is nice. I also just deserve to be sad and scared. I still get scared every now and again but my meds do a lot of heavy lifting snd i think my sadness stems from my anxiety so idk but idk i just miss it. I cut tonight idk if im allowed to say that so im really sorry and u can delete this post or i can if its not allowed but idk its been a while like 2-3? years maybe idk. Ive missed it, i think it's kinda the top of the iceberg. like i miss cutting bc i miss being sad and deserve it and i miss that because it keeps me away from everyone and will make the sadness and fear greater.
idk if this makes any sense btw just writing this on my phone in bed
I just have been kinda going numb and continuing life and working and just being idle. Idk if it's cause my meds or jsut cause i repress it but I haven't been feeling sad, in the sense that i don't feel down and like feel like crying. What i'm wondering if others also feel is the feeling of wanting to be sad again after just kinda going idle in life or from feeling numb from meds.
Being sad was comforting i think because i would close off from people and that way i couldn't hurt anyone or mess anything up. I just want everyone to be happy and i don't want them to have to worry or deal with me or me hurt them somehow so being closed off and alone is nice. I also just deserve to be sad and scared. I still get scared every now and again but my meds do a lot of heavy lifting snd i think my sadness stems from my anxiety so idk but idk i just miss it. I cut tonight idk if im allowed to say that so im really sorry and u can delete this post or i can if its not allowed but idk its been a while like 2-3? years maybe idk. Ive missed it, i think it's kinda the top of the iceberg. like i miss cutting bc i miss being sad and deserve it and i miss that because it keeps me away from everyone and will make the sadness and fear greater.
idk if this makes any sense btw just writing this on my phone in bed
