Help What do i do when life doesn't have meaning but i don't want to kill myself anymore?

[soniaimi]

i don't know what changed, i just don't see suicide as a escape route anymore, but i'm still lost in this world just living day to day

it's not bad, but i wish i could have some deeper meaning and do more fun stuff

i think the meds and my transition are working guys :D, it's some kind of progress i guess considering i tried to kill myself 5 times between october-february

 

[author]

i don't know what changed, i just don't see suicide as a escape route anymore, but i'm still lost in this world just living day to day

it's not bad, but i wish i could have some deeper meaning and do more fun stuff

i think the meds and my transition are working guys :D, it's some kind of progress i guess considering i tried to kill myself 5 times between october-february

I'm really glad it's helping! Transition has been really helping me too.

Is there anything keeping you from having fun now? I don't know your situation, but if there's nothing stopping you, why not do more fun stuff? If you don't have any hobbies, maybe picking up a new one would be fun. I know there was a thread on hobbies here; threads/hobby-ideas.155089

As for deeper meaning... You might roll your eyes, but it really is something you have to find for yourself. For me, it's a feeling in my chest I can't describe too well. My brother took me hiking once recently, in the mountains. I think seeing with my own eyes that there's things outside my world, beautiful things, helped. It also made me realize I don't have to live the way I'm living, if that makes sense. With enough time, I could raise the money to live outside of the city, in the mountains or even somewhere else beautiful. Looking back to see that despite everything, I have actually come a long way (still alive, currently transitioning) despite thinking I couldn't do it - realizing that I don't have to be trapped in the city forever, and that things can always change, helped me personally.

I hope this helps. Keep at it! Proud of you, stranger.

 

[cantthinkofusername]

it takes time to find meaning in life
i would just say try to find what makes u happy, or what makes u feel a little better in the moment for the time being
meaning comes to u eventually as long as u keep living

 

[pluscat]

To have a deeper meaning and be happy, I think you need to get rid of the bad things but also invite more good things into your life, and as your not considering suicide anymore, it's looks as though your half way there so I'd suggest trying to find more good things, making friends going out more etc. I'd say try finding a hobby or playing a sport just something that gets you out of the house, I know it's scary but finding happiness in others and having a place in their lives is very good at giving meaning to you own.

 

[tryingtoquietdown]

Good for you for keeping at it and getting better! It's not an easy thing to do, and the road isn't often linear, so I get why you're having trouble. It kinda sucks, but you have to find your own meaning to life. For some people, that's work, religion, or any cause they believe in. Others find meaning in the relationships in their lives (my parents and my cats have literally saved my life by being so meaningful to me). Your meaning could also fluctuate from day to day - if you hold onto life because you're waiting for something to happen, like moving or getting a job or getting into a relationship, life can feel stagnant once you reach that goal, so you have to keep making plans for the future and setting goals for yourself to reach. If none of that works for you, just focus on finding something that makes you happy and dedicate all that you can to it. Going for a walk somewhere beautiful usually enlightens me, so it might work for you, too.

Good luck and good job! We're proud of you :)