They just offered to double my salary and let me work several days from home, I refused, I quit, I want to leave this world, I said I was going to 'another better place' haha, no lie there.
I've been going to the gym every morning the last 7 months, got quite ripped, still, not a good reason enough to live (and I'm burned with society, relations, people in general, very unlikely that I would meet anybody of my frecuency, and even less likely that she wouldn't be burned and tired and damaged already).
And I've been on a very healthy and energetic diet the last year.
And I moved to a lovely town, with chimney, living alone with nice views, still, nobody to share it with.
There's no guarantee it can go 'well' for a time, how funny after decades of suffering!
And the damage is already done, inside, your first decade and a half make you, you can't undo the character, damage done there.
Now I found good ways, and I'm going to take them, I wish I had discovered this sooner.
I cut relations with my family some months ago and that's the best decision of my life, such freedom.
I didn't want to quit my job, I even feel bad for leaving them, that only points to how brutal the brainwashing is and how my good hearted, selfless nature is exploited.
Or that coming home alone was worse than being busy in the office, I helped people there, got some recognition, for doing technical useful stuff.. for worthless companies who lie, cheat and waste resources. Coming home to what.. face the questions of existence, of this world, the absurdity of it all, the humiliation of being trapped in a human body that needs to eat, pee constantly, to cut your nails, go to the bathroom, buy food, pay bills, see ads everywhere, listen to rude people on the street, listen to the lies of politicians and corporations on the radio on every bus, taxi you take, even walking the street?
The more selfless you are the less sucessful the 'bribes' of life will be.
What if I can help more from 'outside'?
What if being here is a 'vote' to keep this world alive? You can bla bla speak all you like but actions are what matters. id on't want to support the existence of this evil creation.
