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tchaik18401893

tchaik18401893

tchaikovsky
Dec 31, 2022
121
I was thinking about this earlier and i just think i need some place to share my own insecurities. I think my insecurities are about 50% of the reason i will ctb.

my insecurities:
I hate my teeth. I hate how they are crooked and yellow. I hate my eyes. They are droopy and they have eye bags. My eye brows are too dark. my forehead is big. my hair is frizzy, i am ginger. My silhouette is not usual compared to other peoples. I am not pretty. My fashion sense is awful. I am poor and cannot afford clothes and luxuries other people have. I hate my personality. When I get anxious I giggle which i find very annoying. When i get excited i get loud. I am a nerd. I obsess over things nobody even thinks or cares about. I cant talk properly with other people. I have trouble communicating my feelings. I feel fake. I talk too much, in my head. I annoy myself, i wish i could shut up and just stop thinking anything. I listen to the music nobody else listens to. I am too observant. I notice little things no one cares about. I am just a weird, sad, lonely person. I am abnormal. I feel like giving up.
 
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Rocinante

Rocinante

My name is Lucifer, please take my hand
Aug 26, 2022
1,469
Nose a bit too wide
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,319
I don't have any self hatred really. I just hate the fact that I exist and I'm bothered by the fact that I continue to exist and feel so trapped in this hellish world. I see life itself as being the true problem as I simply never asked for any of this and it's not my fault that this awful existence even started in the first place so that is a reason as to why I don't really hate myself. I know that I'm just not meant for existing and I don't see any benefit to something so burdensome and useless. We should all just be allowed N to prevent unnecessary suffering and endless days spent here of me wishing to be gone.
 
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tchaik18401893

tchaik18401893

tchaikovsky
Dec 31, 2022
121
I don't have any self hatred really. I just hate the fact that I exist and I'm bothered by the fact that I continue to exist and feel so trapped in this hellish world. I see life itself as being the true problem as I simply never asked for any of this and it's not my fault that this awful existence even started in the first place so that is a reason as to why I don't really hate myself. I know that I'm just not meant for existing and I don't see any benefit to something so burdensome and useless. We should all just be allowed N to prevent unnecessary suffering and endless days spent here of me wishing to be gone.
I'm so sorry you feel this way. Please feel free to DM if you ever need to. I understand the feeling of tirelessly living on this earth. Best wishes to you.
 
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S

SpenceGence

Member
May 22, 2022
15
I was thinking about this earlier and i just think i need some place to share my own insecurities. I think my insecurities are about 50% of the reason i will ctb.

my insecurities:
I hate my teeth. I hate how they are crooked and yellow. I hate my eyes. They are droopy and they have eye bags. My eye brows are too dark. my forehead is big. my hair is frizzy, i am ginger. My silhouette is not usual compared to other peoples. I am not pretty. My fashion sense is awful. I am poor and cannot afford clothes and luxuries other people have. I hate my personality. When I get anxious I giggle which i find very annoying. When i get excited i get loud. I am a nerd. I obsess over things nobody even thinks or cares about. I cant talk properly with other people. I have trouble communicating my feelings. I feel fake. I talk too much, in my head. I annoy myself, i wish i could shut up and just stop thinking anything. I listen to the music nobody else listens to. I am too observant. I notice little things no one cares about. I am just a weird, sad, lonely person. I am abnormal. I feel like giving up.
I'm sorry you have these dispositions. People too often scowl at people insecure about their looks and just resort to saying "just be confident". Looks matter, and wanting to improve on that shouldn't be frowned upon.

I think that the genetic components of confidence and social acuity are often ignored. Like people on the spectrum, people with anxiety disorders, one's voice, general appearance, food metabolization, etc.

Now this next piece of advice I would be very careful with. If you can handle it, try moderate amounts of alcohol when your mind is racing too much. I found that just 2 beers calms me down. Alcohol can be very harmful, but I think under the right circumstances it gonna be a great tool.
 
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tchaik18401893

tchaik18401893

tchaikovsky
Dec 31, 2022
121
I'm sorry you have these dispositions. People too often scowl at people insecure about their looks and just resort to saying "just be confident". Looks matter, and wanting to improve on that shouldn't be frowned upon.

I think that the genetic components of confidence and social acuity are often ignored. Like people on the spectrum, people with anxiety disorders, one's voice, general appearance, food metabolization, etc.

Now this next piece of advice I would be very careful with. If you can handle it, try moderate amounts of alcohol when your mind is racing too much. I found that just 2 beers calms me down. Alcohol can be very harmful, but I think under the right circumstances it gonna be a great tool.
my mom has cirrhosis, so no alcohol for me lol
 
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S

SpenceGence

Member
May 22, 2022
15
my mom has cirrhosis, so no alcohol for me lol
I feel that too. My chronic pain usually doesn't allow me to drink either. Not as prohibitive as cirrhosis though. I'm sorry you have to go through that.
 
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Message In A Bottle

Message In A Bottle

I don’t need light. Please give me water
Apr 1, 2022
382
We'd be here awhile if I listed all my insecurities😅
 
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tchaik18401893

tchaik18401893

tchaikovsky
Dec 31, 2022
121
We'd be here awhile if I listed all my insecurities😅
Well if you ever need to talk to me, please do! I don't mind if you write them here anyway, as this is a safe space. Best of wishes to you.
 
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asterisk3

asterisk3

gone
Jan 5, 2023
64
Alcohol can be very harmful, but I think under the right circumstances it gonna be a great tool.
Alcohol helps. But I can't go even slightly overboard otherwise it's pretty bad. I've found that benzos are what work best for me, it's like not being mentally insane again.

I have lots of insecurities, and many crazy feelings because of them. I still feel like people are looking, staring and laughing at me constantly, due to circumstances when I was a kid. Even when I'm in my room alone, I feel that way sometimes. I'm ugly, look bad, ugly, ugly, etc. Awkward and always extremely on the defensive... can't chill. People notice it and it's even worse. I don't feel safe in my own skin in this world. I want to change but can't. I'm self-conscious about not having a degree and a bit too old for the current circumstances I'm in. I'm insecure about not having m(any) friends and not even social media anymore. I'm insecure about being seen as the outcast whenever I go out even if no one knows me. I feel like that and have this crazy distortion that everyone knows and there are eyes everywhere watching and looking and laughing. Writing this down makes me feel like I'm goddamn fucked in the head, maybe I am.

Also insecure about not being the best and not studying 10+ hours a day. About not being better. I'm getting sad just writing this down. I'm a mess of a person.
 
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tchaik18401893

tchaik18401893

tchaikovsky
Dec 31, 2022
121
Alcohol helps. But I can't go even slightly overboard otherwise it's pretty bad. I've found that benzos are what work best for me, it's like not being mentally insane again.

I have lots of insecurities, and many crazy feelings because of them. I still feel like people are looking, staring and laughing at me constantly, due to circumstances when I was a kid. Even when I'm in my room alone, I feel that way sometimes. I'm ugly, look bad, ugly, ugly, etc. Awkward and always extremely on the defensive... can't chill. People notice it and it's even worse. I don't feel safe in my own skin in this world. I want to change but can't. I'm self-conscious about not having a degree and a bit too old for the current circumstances I'm in. I'm insecure about not having m(any) friends and not even social media anymore. I'm insecure about being seen as the outcast whenever I go out even if no one knows me. I feel like that and have this crazy distortion that everyone knows and there are eyes everywhere watching and looking and laughing. Writing this down makes me feel like I'm goddamn fucked in the head, maybe I am.

Also insecure about not being the best and not studying 10+ hours a day. About not being better. I'm getting sad just writing this down. I'm a mess of a person.
I understand how you feel. When i was writing mine i just felt even more insecure and just disgusted with myself. Best of wishes to you, though.
 
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stermc

stermc

libertas quae sera tamen
Nov 24, 2022
946
I actually like myself a lot. My biggest insecurity right now is my body, because I gained a little bit of weight, but still think I am beautiful. The thing that hurts me the most about this is that people don't usually approach me, because I guess they don't like chubby people. Well, they are losing a opportunity to get to meet a really incredible soul (it took me a long time to realize that, but now I do). Also, I think sometimes I am unloveable. Just really problematic and neurotic sometimes, so I don't think people would stick around for long (romantically).
Oh, my feet. They are too small. Also my hands. Too small.
Sometimes I think I am too naive too, so that's a insecurity of mine. I don't always see the bad in people.
I am also feeling a little bit insecure about my tattoos. They annoy me sometimes, so I am thinking of getting a blackout tattoo.
Oh, the fact that my depression stopped me academically. I finished college, but have no job.
There are other things but I can't remember right now.
The fact that I don't have any specific talent also bothers me, but guess I can work on that.
 
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tchaik18401893

tchaik18401893

tchaikovsky
Dec 31, 2022
121
I actually like myself a lot. My biggest insecurity right now is my body, because I gained a little bit of weight, but still think I am beautiful. The thing that hurts me the most about this is that people don't usually approach me, because I guess they don't like chubby people. Well, they are losing a opportunity to get to meet a really incredible soul (it took me a long time to realize that, but now I do). Also, I think sometimes I am unloveable. Just really problematic and neurotic sometimes, so I don't think people would stick around for long (romantically).
Oh, my feet. They are too small. Also my hands. Too small.
Sometimes I think I am too naive too, so that's a insecurity of mine. I don't always see the bad in people.
I am also feeling a little bit insecure about my tattoos. They annoy me sometimes, so I am thinking of getting a blackout tattoo.
Oh, the fact that my depression stopped me academically. I finished college, but have no job.
There are other things but I can't remember right now.
The fact that I don't have any specific talent also bothers me, but guess I can work on that.
I too am too naïve… I fall into peoples traps. But beginning to think the toxic people in my life were my fault. I believe i was the one being toxic, and its literally just me. Oh well. Best of wishes to you.
 
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stermc

stermc

libertas quae sera tamen
Nov 24, 2022
946
I too am too naïve… I fall into peoples traps. But beginning to think the toxic people in my life were my fault. I believe i was the one being toxic, and its literally just me. Oh well. Best of wishes to you.
I guess everyone is a little bit toxic sometimes. Especially when you have dealt with toxic people before. It's like you reproduce their actions without even noticing. And sometimes we do notice, but, again, we are all a little bit toxic sometimes.
It's fine. Just gotta work on ourselves to be better next time. Or don't, it depends on the kind of person you want to be.

I also wish you the best.
 
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EternalOblivion

EternalOblivion

But does anything matter if you're already dead?
Jan 13, 2023
50
I suppose my biggest insecurities pertain to my appearance from the neck-up. I'm fairly certain my hormones are perpetually off, so I struggle with acne and generally rough looking skin. I also suspect that I have FFA (Frontal Fibrosing Alopecia), which I've managed to camouflage with bangs. It's a huge source of stress for me on a daily basis to have to hide these flaws because it's unlikely they'll ever improve to the extent I would prefer. If I could, I'd see a specialist for these problems, but I wouldn't be able to afford it anyway.
Also, I'm very sorry you're feeling the way that you are; I wouldn't wish that kind of pervasive loneliness on anyone. A lot of my suicide ideation comes from my appearance as well.
 
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hellispink

hellispink

poisonous
May 26, 2022
1,229
I am mostly accepting of myself. The only thing i hate are three things psychically , my chin because its too fat and looks like double if i make a weird face, and my eyes which are separated from each other (like why couldn they be closer so it look more even argh). Acne, ah fuck acne … Insecurities when it comes to my personality, being abandoned mostly.
 
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je.suis.prêt

je.suis.prêt

Hjälp mig
Jul 9, 2022
107
Where do I start?

I do not have an outgoing/bold personality

Not intelligent enough

(kind of) socially awkward/inept

Would like to be a bit more muscular

My skin does not stay clear

Cannot stop biting my nails (I think they'll look strange forever)

Could go on forever, but it is not worth it as no one is perfect, so insecurities are kind of a given in this life...
 
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M

mojabaka

Student
Apr 20, 2022
100
Nothing really. My nose is too big, but I honestly don't give a flying fuck about it, especially since being disabled by the covid "vaccine" with POTS and neuropathy. I just wish to be healthy again.
 
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Celerity

Celerity

shape without form, shade without colour
Jan 24, 2021
2,729
I have also never really fit in. Compared to when I was a kid, I blend in much better now but have been unable to maintain friendships. Over the past few years, I have simply flitted from job to job, snatching up acquaintances I barely like and who barely like me.

My most painful insecurity at the moment is my current income/job status. I had the opportunity to do really well career-wise, and I blew it. Second to that, my virginity still embarrasses me even if I care about it less and less as the years go by. Like with my career situation, it is very hard to explain to people, so I just don't. Thankfully, unlike with the job, it never comes up. People just assume by virtue of my age that I have experience. I have become adept at camouflaging myself during conversations about dating and relationships.

A weird and newly-developed insecurity I have is the sound of my laugh. An asshole coworker who took me out on a date made fun of it. I guess he was trying for negging. This along with his other idiocy turned me off pretty much immediately. I am more aggravated that he got to me than the fact that my laugh is a bit high-pitched.
 
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L

lionetta12

Just a random person
Aug 5, 2022
1,274
I was thinking about this earlier and i just think i need some place to share my own insecurities. I think my insecurities are about 50% of the reason i will ctb.

my insecurities:
I hate my teeth. I hate how they are crooked and yellow. I hate my eyes. They are droopy and they have eye bags. My eye brows are too dark. my forehead is big. my hair is frizzy, i am ginger. My silhouette is not usual compared to other peoples. I am not pretty. My fashion sense is awful. I am poor and cannot afford clothes and luxuries other people have. I hate my personality. When I get anxious I giggle which i find very annoying. When i get excited i get loud. I am a nerd. I obsess over things nobody even thinks or cares about. I cant talk properly with other people. I have trouble communicating my feelings. I feel fake. I talk too much, in my head. I annoy myself, i wish i could shut up and just stop thinking anything. I listen to the music nobody else listens to. I am too observant. I notice little things no one cares about. I am just a weird, sad, lonely person. I am abnormal. I feel like giving up.
I'm insecure about being too generous and too caring, because it seems to be the traits about me that cause me the most issues.
 
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Rainy_days

Rainy_days

Experienced
Dec 21, 2022
256
Saying the wrong things, in the wrong tone of voice, while in the wrong posture with wrong facial expression thinking the wrong things and living in a way that is very wrong.
 
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Inferno

Inferno

Member
Jan 9, 2023
79
I've always been ashamed of my weight, even when I had a healthy BMI I still felt obese even though I wasn't.
 
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not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Archangel
Mar 23, 2018
10,495
Looks
Weight
Dumb
Money
Anxiety
 
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IDontLikeMyself

IDontLikeMyself

Member
Nov 8, 2022
30
I am insecure about so many things. My stomach, my nose, my teeth and my hips. The only thing I can say I am confident about is my shoulders.
I am also insecure about the way I behave with people socially because I am an awkward mess.
 
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not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Archangel
Mar 23, 2018
10,495
Another one!!!

Not being man enough.
 
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Hirokami

Hirokami

Out of order
Feb 21, 2021
607
My mental illnesses, for starters. I always feel like I'm a burden by existing, hence why I never really share my feelings irl. I have others but I don't have the mental stamina to list of them.
 
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vultureilse

vultureilse

ready to go, just waiting for the right time!
Dec 31, 2022
144
honestly everything i hate myself very much

my face, my body, the way i dress, my voice, the way i talk and form sentences, my laugh, my stuttering, awkward pausing and mixing up words, my personality, my interests, my lack of social skills, my awkwardness, my art, my mental illnesses, how unstable i am, my financial situation, my mannerisms and body language, my clumsiness, the way i overreact over the tiniest things, how easily i get unhealthily obssesed with people, how clingy and dependent i get even on people that i barely interact with, my abandonment issues, my attention seeking, my tendency to overshare and say things without thinking first, having no friends and being a huge social reject, how stupid and dense i am, my mood swings, my paranoia, being overly dramating and always making a victim out of myself, my anger issues, my poor hygiene and very messy room because of my depression, being a huge pushover, my inability to set boundaries and say no, my selfishness, my physical weakness and overall how pathetic and weird i am

i could go on but trying to list EVERYTHING would take actual hours lmao
 
D

don't want it

Member
Dec 14, 2022
99
To be paralyzed and unable to commit suicide
 
Zegers

Zegers

Enlightened
Dec 15, 2021
1,758
insecurities? well, just little things like feeling like you're in the wrong life.
 

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