Discussion What are your best strategies for holding back sadness?

[GenesAndEnvironment]

I am challenging myself to stop crying, my goal is to never cry again. The reason for this goal is to reduce my emotional pain by way of repression. What I'm doing now when I start to feel sad is basically grasping at straws and using improvised and haphazard strategies to not have any tears start running. So the strats I am using are:

1. Reminding myself of my no-crying-streak and goal.
2. Tilting my head upwards to not have any water come out from the tear ducts.
3. Minimizing whatever is causing the sadness.
4. Mindfulness techniques, focusing on sensations or external objects.
5. Making "confident" and "nonchalant" facial expressions.
(6). Over-doing any strategy will backfire since that reinforces the underlying belief that whatever is causing the sadness is important.

I know that many here are good at repressing their emotions, so I am interested in hearing how this is achieved in different ways.

 

[Beachedwhale]

This sounds to me like putting a bandaid on a gaping wound. Although I myself try not to cry simply because the salt over time has given me awful circles under the eyes.

What thoughts go through your head when you cry?

 

[TheAmazingCriswell]

It is very difficult to tell from your posts whether they are written in jest or in earnest, but I don't think I follow this logic.
Crying is not the cause of sadness, distress or pain, but a symptom thereof.
Unless you eliminate the cause for your crying bouts, which I presume is either impossible or very difficult, repressing the manifestation of your emotions will arguably do more harm than good.

 

[FuneralCry]

By convincing myself that this life is meaningless and by thinking about death, nothing is therefore worth crying about. Just focus on something else. I feel emotionless a lot of the time. We cannot prevent crying honestly it is our way of relieving emotional pain. Repressing something won't make us feel better.

 

[Symbiote]

1. I channel my inner mom when she always said, "I'll give you something to cry about" then proceed on punching my face until I'm about to pass out.

2. Troll Jeremy on Twitter

3. Do something productive like gardening or physical work

4. Remind myself that no one gives a fuck so why should you?

 

[Rayzieka]

I actually find it easier to hold back sadness after I get done having a full on temper tantrum to the point where I stop in the middle like a two year old and forget why I was crying, then start crying again cause I wasn't done yet.
Theres a few hours of serenity after things like that.

 

[killedbypsychiatry]

Whenever I'm about to cry in public and don't want to I pinch my skin to distract myself and it has helped.

grounding techniques may help numb emotions

Also I guess if someone does something that makes
you feel like crying just remember we have no free will and it's basically just psychics what's causing them to do that.

embrace nihilism and remember everyone will die one day

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

What thoughts go through your head when you cry?

Just silly stuff that I want to happen that isn't going to happen.

It is very difficult to tell from your posts whether they are written in jest or in earnest, but I don't think I follow this logic.
Crying is not the cause of sadness, distress or pain, but a symptom thereof.
Unless you eliminate the cause for your crying bouts, which I presume is either impossible or very difficult, repressing the manifestation of your emotions will arguably do more harm than good.

I have actually gotten less emotional in general since I've started doing this, not sure what to tell you. I have already solved what is causing this, so I'm just getting rid of the remaining symptoms, the whining and crying is more of a bad habit/addiction (that I never had until recently).

Whenever I'm about to cry in public and don't want to I pinch my skin to distract myself and it has helped. Also I guess if someone does something that makes
you feel like crying just remember we have no free will and it's basically just psychics what's causing them to do that.

Thank you. Physical pain will ground us, just like mindfulness. Going straight to hard determinism doesn't really work for me personally, probably since it's not emotionally charged and too intellectual. Have to meet myself in the middle, sort of.

 

[Pookie]

My strategy is to just let it all out, no use in keeping it suppressed and becoming a homicidal maniac later on. I don't know if some hormone is released when crying, but I always feel better/more calm after a good cry.

For many years I couldn't cry. I could identify that something that happened should've been upsetting, but I was just numb. It felt strange being an unemotional zombie.

I also have difficulty crying when I'm in shock. For instance, when my pet died, it took a long time for the reality of it to sink in and for me to start grieving,

 

[TheAmazingCriswell]

I have actually gotten less emotional in general since I've started doing this, not sure what to tell you. I have already solved what is causing this, so I'm just getting rid of the remaining symptoms, the whining and crying is more of a bad habit/addiction (that I never had until recently).

Don't you think it works because you've solved the underlying problem, and not because you suppress your crying?
Either way, good for you!

 

[Meditation guide]

I put what makes me sad in the past and look for humor.

I practice staying in the now. It's not easy but worth trying for.

 

[WornOutLife]

I try to keep my mind busy with working, studying and watching series, anime, youtube, etc.
It's kinda mentally exhausting but I'm less suicidal and sad thanks to that.

Hope you can feel better soon!

Hugs and love,

Matt

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Hope you can feel better soon!

 

[WornOutLife]

Best joker ever!!
#ChangeMyMind

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Best joker ever!!
#ChangeMyMind

Wrong.

 

[Pookie]

I put what makes me sad in the past and look for humor.

I practice staying in the now. It's not easy but worth trying for.

You say you look for humour. Do you mean that in the sense that you try to look at the humorous side of life or do you mean you watch funny movies/read funny books?

 

[TheAmazingCriswell]

Wrong.

That's not the joker, that's the joker baby!
Besides, this was recommended in the sidebar:

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I somehow became less capable of physically crying (except when I'm in physical pain or around things I'm allergic to) just by crying so excessively. I used to cry so easily just by thinking about my situation or watching a character go through something similar. These days it takes a lot to make me cry even in media I'd probably only cry for villains and dogs dying.

It might be useful to identify what causes you to cry and then either avoid it or expose yourself to it so much until you're "all cried out".

 

[natali4]

Thanks for posting this. I don't have any advice for you but I do have a similar problem. I tend to cry a lot, especially these last few months when things have gone from bad to worse. I know crying is a symptom of pain, but it makes me feel weak and vulnerable, and I hate that feeling. I want to stop myself from crying. I don't know if it will help with the pain but I think it will perhaps make me feel stronger. I'll try the tips everyone posted in this thread!

 

[motel rooms]

My strategy is to just let it all out, no use in keeping it suppressed and becoming a homicidal maniac later on.

Maybe bottling shit up until one explodes isn't such a bad choice if one's goal is to die...