Discussion What are you struggling with most right now?

[d-tea]

What's actively bothering you the most right now?

For me, it's the discrepancy between me and my partners libido. Idk what happened, it used to be sky high for them too, at the beginning, but now I constantly feel dejected and disappointed every time I try to initiate something or my partner promises me something and then later doesn't feel like it anymore. I don't want them to feel pressured so I try not to show it as much, as it's not their fault at all, it just really messes with me because intimacy is like the only thing that makes me feel good and happy, the only strong positive feeling I have had in a long time. It's very important to me, but only if they actively enjoy it as well. I wish I could make them feel the same way.
I wonder if there's anyone in a similar situation? Even if not, please share what issues you are struggling with most right now, however small and ridiculous they might seem to you.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

My dad seems to be turning into an alcoholic and it turns out my brother is having some issues. I am otherwise doing okay, minus the fact that my sh scars keep on itching like crazy.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm just sick of the day to day grind. I'm sick of having to keep living. (I want to wait for my Dad to go first.) There's nothing much I want out of life now. I don't especally want things to be different and I definitely don't want to put in the effort to make them different. I'm basically just tired and I've had enough. I don't want to have to try anymore and it pisses me off that I feel like I have to. Plus, I'm scared I won't actually have the guts to do it when the time comes.

 

[derpyderpins]

What's actively bothering you the most right now?

For me, it's the discrepancy between me and my partners libido. Idk what happened, it used to be sky high for them too, at the beginning, but now I constantly feel dejected and disappointed every time I try to initiate something or my partner promises me something and then later doesn't feel like it anymore. I don't want them to feel pressured so I try not to show it as much, as it's not their fault at all, it just really messes with me because intimacy is like the only thing that makes me feel good and happy, the only strong positive feeling I have had in a long time. It's very important to me, but only if they actively enjoy it as well. I wish I could make them feel the same way.
I wonder if there's anyone in a similar situation? Even if not, please share what issues you are struggling with most right now, however small and ridiculous they might seem to you.

Similar situation for me. Very much so. It was every time we saw each other at first, but has become less and less frequent. And she tries so hard to be a good partner . . . in every other way. I've told her that I don't need her to cook and clean or any of that, what I need is more physical intimacy and more adventurous intimacy. I've suggested probably 100 ways to go about it. She laughs off any un-vanilla suggestions as being a joke.

Similar situation for me. Very much so. It was every time we saw each other at first, but has become less and less frequent. And she tries so hard to be a good partner . . . in every other way. I've told her that I don't need her to cook and clean or any of that, what I need is more physical intimacy and more adventurous intimacy. I've suggested probably 100 ways to go about it. She laughs off any un-vanilla suggestions as being a joke.

There's that while I work 10 hour days and weekends to afford bread while my government gets ready to send billions to the middle east to fire pointless missiles that just hit other missiles.

 

[BackToLobby]

Loneliness. I feel like a spectator of life, doomed to watch others thrive and I am left behind by my poor physical and mental health

 

[Hotsackage]

My brain won't stop lol

 

[FuneralCry]

I struggle with how I don't have the option to just easily die in peace. Existence in general is a struggle, it's a futile struggle imposed on us by those selfish enough to so cruelly procreate. More than anything I wish I never existed, existence just causes immense harm and I find it tragic how there isn't just nothingness, the existence of life is the most terrible tragedy, to have the ability to exist is very hellish and undesirable. In my case I just want to be at peace and for me peace can only be found in the absence of everything, it's a curse to be conscious and aware.

I don't want to suffer in any way and in existence there is endless potential to suffer, it's disturbing how there is no limit as to how torturous existing can get, I certainly struggle with existing as existence itself really is the true problem after all and is something evil as it's the source of all suffering, I never would have wanted or chosen existence.

 

[d-tea]

Similar situation for me. Very much so. It was every time we saw each other at first, but has become less and less frequent. And she tries so hard to be a good partner . . . in every other way. I've told her that I don't need her to cook and clean or any of that, what I need is more physical intimacy and more adventurous intimacy. I've suggested probably 100 ways to go about it. She laughs off any un-vanilla suggestions as being a joke.

There's that while I work 10 hour days and weekends to afford bread while my government gets ready to send billions to the middle east to fire pointless missiles that just hit other missiles.

It's just so frustrating. I love them, and I want them to be as passionate as I am, but most of my attempts are turned down because they're simply not in the mood, which I respect, of course.
I loved that we were going into a less vanilla direction and they enjoyed trying out the things that I enjoy, but for months now they just don't feel like doing anything non vanilla, if anything at all.
I feel sort of ridiculous about it bothering me that much, and I do bring it up with them but make it seem less important to me than it is.
Do you have any suggestions on how to go about it? If you've tried 100 ways to go about it, maybe there is something in there that I haven't tried yet. My partner is luckily very understanding and tries so hard to make me happy, there must be some middle ground we can find.

 

[gorexzxz]

I missing feeling comfortable. Just cant anymore. I always feel tense and my mind race even when I'm sleeping. I cant even sleep without it causing issues.

 

[Alltheywanted]

I miss somebody as fcked up as me.

 

[TiredOfAllThis]

Fckd up life. A lot of consequences of wrong decisions influenced by others.

 

[unabletocope]

My chronic anxiety/feeling like my death will destroy my parents

 

[derpyderpins]

It's just so frustrating. I love them, and I want them to be as passionate as I am, but most of my attempts are turned down because they're simply not in the mood, which I respect, of course.
I loved that we were going into a less vanilla direction and they enjoyed trying out the things that I enjoy, but for months now they just don't feel like doing anything non vanilla, if anything at all.
I feel sort of ridiculous about it bothering me that much, and I do bring it up with them but make it seem less important to me than it is.
Do you have any suggestions on how to go about it? If you've tried 100 ways to go about it, maybe there is something in there that I haven't tried yet. My partner is luckily very understanding and tries so hard to make me happy, there must be some middle ground we can find.

I wish I had something positive to give as advice. For the most part, I'm great at relationships, but figuring out how to navigate this issue is tough for me. I've thought about it as being a confidence issue, so I have been sure to let her knows she turns me on, and I encourage her when she takes small steps; I tell her I'm never going to joke when talking about what I hope for in bed so she can know I'm serious; I approach and initiate, but I've also tried being passive so she has room to initiate at her pace . . . I just don't know. I'm starting to come to terms with the fact that I just need another outlet for my desires. I think it might be an issue with her birth control, too.

 

[StarryEyed]

I'm struggling with deciding whether or not to ctb to end the dilemma that has been going on too long. I'm working through it, but it's really gut wrenching to be face-to-face with these horrible feelings.

Two is what brought me back to the suicidal thinking - that I can barely walk or stand anymore due to neuropathy in my feet, and it's not at all likely to get better, but very likely to get worse. It's been a slow decline over 12 years, but the last year has been the worst. My current life is so damaged by immobility I don't know if I can rally or if I want to rally.

 

[shatteredcrystal]

I have been finding a way to relieve my pain and depression inside me (which is why I'm here) since I started feeling stress and dull pain stuck inside, and since when I lost the ability to cry
No signs of them stating to relieve though.

 

[Hystearical]

Dying

 

[d-tea]

I wish I had something positive to give as advice. For the most part, I'm great at relationships, but figuring out how to navigate this issue is tough for me. I've thought about it as being a confidence issue, so I have been sure to let her knows she turns me on, and I encourage her when she takes small steps; I tell her I'm never going to joke when talking about what I hope for in bed so she can know I'm serious; I approach and initiate, but I've also tried being passive so she has room to initiate at her pace . . . I just don't know. I'm starting to come to terms with the fact that I just need another outlet for my desires. I think it might be an issue with her birth control, too.

Okay, we're 100% in the same boat, except for the birth control part. At least we're not alone ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

[AnyWonderBR]

The worship of pain and suffering. I will kill myself, so that I don't become infected with this protean world.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Just struggling with getting the few things done that I need to get done, so that I feel comfortable, at ease, and at peace, leaving.

 

[divinemistress87]

Uncontrollable anger outbursts

 

[Eudaimonic]

Not being able to die :(

 

[eternaldeath]

i'm REALLY stressed and tired, and i always say this, but REALLY lonely. ive also been REALLY depressed and suicidal, and i feel like im just falling into a pit i cant get out of. sometimes i cant even get out of bed, and the moment i get home i can never get anything done because all i want to do is just fall back into my bed and i have no motivation for anything. i always tell other people "once you hit rock bottom all you can do is go up" but that doesn't apply to me, as these strong feelings of just emptiness and sadness in my life have lasted since the 2nd grade. i've been suicidal like this for literally my entire life, and if i knew a way to die that didnt scare me, i would have done it by now. the thought of SI is terrifying, the thought of pain is terrifying, and the thought of anything going wrong is terrifying. the thing about pain is i can inflict it on myself all i want, but dying that way would be brutal. i just want to be at peace when i die, but i'll probably never find that peace.

 

[Raindancer]

Trying to do the things that I know will help me feel better, but they seem so daunting, just the thought exhausts me.

 

[micheal7271]

My family and my future, my family always forced me to do stuff that they want and make it impossible for me to express myself and my future bcz I am afraid I can't leave my family

 

[LaughingGoat]

On one hand I've accepted that I can't ctb until one of my family members is already gone, but it still it difficult to cope with the feeling of being trapped in that decision I've made.

 

[InAgony]

Having an illness and a family that don't understand it so they make it worse.

 

[sserafim]

Adulthood itself, especially the fact that I'll have to eventually work for a living if I don't ctb. For me, it's NEET or rope. I don't want to work. Work is modern day slavery. I don't want to have to become independent or support myself. What's bothering me is the fact that I'll be forced into this. I hate being an adult. I wish I could be a kid again

 

[stupidhuman]

My incapability to plan out my future career.
I am too much of a low life to do that. No motivation and no dreams.
I might had some dreams in my childhood what I want to become but now I don't even want to try.
I've NEVER worked my entire life. Looking for jobs or perspective makes me literally suicidal in a matter of seconds.

That's me - I am waste and crybaby in every aspect and I'm sorry for that. I'll make sure to not overstay my welcome too much.

 

[billie]

My friends took their own lives

 

[strangelife]

Everyday physical pain