Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[Seaghost]

I'm a piece of shit. A coward. Everything should been over long time ago. But as a coward I tried to accept this prison.
Damn....what an incredible idiot I am. Coward Coward Coward. Not good for anything. Fucking retarded beeing!

 

[fleetingnight]

I'm sick of it all. I know that the only reason I keep doing this is because dying is scary and hard. It doesn't matter what I do to better myself, I'm still depressed. I talk to dozens of doctors and I'm still depressed. I get high and drunk and sometimes I feel better for a few hours, and then I'm depressed again. It doesn't matter how hard I try. I don't even enjoy hobbies or friendships. I'm not capable of enjoying anything anymore. I don't have the strength to die now. I hope I get hit by the train in some freak accident the next time I take it. But I know it won't happen.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Do you ever get such a strong urge to ctb that you end up "attempting" quickly on impulse in order to try and get that feeling out of your system? Not a real attempt or anything, just something to try and get those feelings out of your system. I did so just now using a belt to hang myself. It was quick since I didn't know when my mom was going to be back but it helped to get those feelings out of my system. My eyes are slightly bloodshot now, but that's fine. I wish I could attempt for real but I feel like right now is not a good time with all the shit going on right now. I hate this so much. I wished I was dead. I hate myself so much and I want to self-destruct so badly but I can't and it makes me feel like I'm on the verge of exploding sometimes.

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

"What's your name?" "Where do you go to school?" "Are you a virgin?" I just MET YOU! On the street, I thought you were one of the other people trying to sell me insurance! (I hate these creepy dudes, I hate these creepy dudes, I hate these creepy dudes, I wanna stab one so bad)

 

[Grog]

I feel so relieved… I moved out of my parents' house; that terrible environment, and moved in with my friend. It's so much more quiet here. It's so much more peaceful. This is the best thing to happen to me in three years~

 

[catlover20]

I feel hungry, sad and lonely. Haven't eaten since yesterday and it was only a single meal. Too tired to do anything about it. I do not wish to leave the comfort of my bed because there's nothing worth my time.

 

[Crash_Bash_Dash]

Just when I thought things were going pretty decent at least, then two awful things happened and I am just in full of dread, frustration and anger because of those two things . I might be in trouble because of those two things and I feel anxious because of that. I don't feel suicidal that much though. Is it because of my medication then which I've been taking regularly every day for few months? I don't know, though I fucking hate those substances they force me to take and that makes me sick because of what they'll do in the long run. I don't know... I just feel quite bad and hopeless I guess in the end. Sigh...

 

[Bad Karma]

like the calm before a storm no ones predicting. everything has been soft and golden lately, too soft, too golden. i think its starting to rot at the edges. i keep waiting for the sky to split open, for something to shatter. its been quiet for too long and the quiets starting to scream at me. i feel like i need to break something just to prove i still can.

 

[Crash_Bash_Dash]

like the calm before a storm no ones predicting. everything has been soft and golden lately, too soft, too golden. i think its starting to rot at the edges. i keep waiting for the sky to split open, for something to shatter. its been quiet for too long and the quiets starting to scream at me. i feel like i need to break something just to prove i still can.

Poetic, very nice take from you, I like it :)

 

[CTB Dream]

this pain sffr nostp

 

[Cavalcade]

I'm actually going to crash the fuck out, one of the people who made my life an active, living hell last year has decided to show up in one of the main communities I joined and have made friends in. I'm actually going to lose my fucking mind. I cut and burn bridges and ruin my life, and none of these people can leave me alone.

 

[myucore]

brain burnt too much internet and screen time

 

[Grog]

Ever since I moved out of my parents' house a few days ago, I've been in a pretty good mood. But, all of a sudden, this wave of anxiety just hit me. I don't know why. I'm in a safe and quiet environment; I should feel okay... I feel really shitty and I hope this feeling goes away soon...

 

[myucore]

I'm so good at manipulating data for my school assignment... It's kinda insane XD. I've been late for 2 years. I need to do everything to survive and graduate. Wish me luck

 

[Nothing Left]

I wish I was a hot rich dude so that I could have a whimsical crash out and live life on absurdist-mode and have hot women invite me into their homes at night.

 

[Grog]

I see my friend cuddling with his girlfriend, and it makes me profoundly sad… I feel lonely.

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

I just want to live in a world where things are nice and people are nice and all I have is this shitty dump. I just want to be happy for more than 5 seconds before going into a week long numbness. I just want to be held and never let go. I just want happy, Where is happy.

I just want too much. I just want a life worth living. I just want to truly give up so I don't have to worry about wanting things anymore.

It just feels like nothing matters anymore. The compliments, the happiness, no matter how genuine, it's just empty words. Everything is just empty, my life, my games, my mind, my past, my present, my future. No matter how much I stuff, it is never enough.

Never enough. Always wanting more.

More.

MORE.

MORE.

MORE!

MOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMORE!!!

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Insomnia
Dread
Guilt

(Sorry to everyone's posts I didn't get to read, I got so far behind)

 

[BlueLock]

I'm scared that life is unlivable, like all life for people not even just mine... There's so much suffering in the world and so many evil systems perpetuating that suffering. On a smaller scale I feel helpless in life, I blame myself mostly but I think I was failed in a lot of ways. Though I do think I did deserve it. I hate that I can't sleep right now I hate that I have no hobbies I hate that I can't go outside in any meaningful way. I hate the sounds my cat is making next to me because shes cleaning her feet. I hate the smell and the work I have to do and that this is my life and I can't escape it without completely throwing it away. I hate myself so much and the reason why are endless.

 

[Grog]

I want to jump off a bridge

 

[Grog]

I am holding in tears and I am choking up. I feel like I am going to puke

 

[Paizen]

anger, abhorrence

 

[Grog]

I want to get stoned
Sometimes I just want to let loose and act like a degenerate. But, I don't, because I don't want certain people to think less of me

 

[dead dav]

Sore my arthritis is playing up

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

Almost accidentally killed myself due to smoke inhalation (because of putting incense on a cardboard box while I was high off Ambien). Wish I had though, would've made things easier.

 

[BlueLock]

I feel a bit broken but I want to get better. I want the pain to end and atp suicide is a no go. Ironic that I'm saying this on the suicide site but it's what I'm feeling right now. I want to be more consistent. I wish I wasn't a burden or an embarrassment so I'm gonna do stuff to fix that. If I can't get a job I'll go on disability, I'll try to pickup a hobby. Be more social. Baby steps. Realistic goals. I don't want to be this animal anymore.

 

[Forveleth]

I thought I as ready to go this weekend, yet here I am planning to wake up Monday morning. I am angry. I want to be dead.

 

[wham311]

This is going to the be longest most painful fucking life I could have ever imagined.

Sister and her husband may divorce bc of me. Just the next step of this complete downward spiral.

Mom has not come back home yet bc she probably doesn't want to deal with me.

After the finals tonight I have nothing to watch at all and no reason to get up.

I am hopeless. I do not want to get better, I just want an end. And I don't sleep AT ALL without meds.

I need like 100k in medical procedures and I've got 25k left and no resume. No one to talk to. Every Reddit "what's a sign someone is a bad person" or fb "what have you the ick" is something that speaks directly to me.

This life is absolute agonym I'm not good at any of it and I'm bringing everyone else down.

 

[Soulless_Death]

Emptiness.

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

Cold, So cold, like actually cold weather probably 0ºC out there brrrrrr...