Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[outatime_85]

I've been running my entire life on manual control, and there are times when I want to let go of the controls.

I often wonder what it would be like to run through life in God mode.

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

Dejected.

"Live your truth."

Fuck you. I want to be dead.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I had a panic attack trying to make friends.. Fucking PATHETIC! I can't handle the most basic of questions: how are you? What's up? Ect...

 

[nightnightnitrite]

My kid just got back with his father, I can barely look my kid in the eyes since almost attempting while they were away. Seeing how he needs me hurts but there is always someone who can fill that void. He's still too young to remember me if I were to go so there's still little point to staying around.

 

[outatime_85]

Incompetent, worthless, undesirable, and unlovable.

 

[Someone123]

Fart burp fart food sandwich turkey fart tomato lettuce mayo socks shoes pants car keys fart burp.

I'm not sure this not thinking part is working out.

 

[Panna]

pessimistic, depressed, and lonely. Nights a great time to be stuck with your thoughts and having no way to escape from them. It's killing me at the moment.

 

[Zegers]

I'm so tired of trying to do things feeling like shit to maybe get through a day, what's the point of all that? you stay the same, nothing ever changes, I'm tired of being in bad health, tired of not feeling good. I feel that life is not going to offer me anything good so my hope is broken.

 

[alliebear]

I selfharm again today. Feeling nauseous as my body swollen from the wound but my cat and mobile game made me abit happier. Eat abit sweet things, feeling okay^.^

 

[ConstantPain]

Like everything is too much. I've wanted to move ever since I moved where I am now but haven't had the energy and still don't. At least before my job was going ok but lately I haven't been able to keep up the act. My boss sent an email today about how much he appreciates me, can't imagine losing me, and how it would be devastating to our community. I know he was trying to make me feel better but it did the opposite. It's weighing on my chest like a ton of bricks. I can't keep doing this!!!

 

[FailureGirl]

I feel like a snail hiding in its shell from the world but my shell is these blankets.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Even "pretty" people can hate themselves.
5ft4 110-125lbs, hourglass-y figure I guess.
I haven't been told I'm ugly (although I have had comments like the amount of hair on my arm). I've actually been told I look good. Been used and hurt by guys.
However I still hate myself. I'm still not enough. There isn't a single body part I don't have anxiety towards. Not a single part that I don't want to change.
I was thinking of making my own thread about it but apparently having guys treat you "well" and still hating yourself isn't allowed (I got bitched at on here for it) so.. I'm just hiding it here...
("well" isn't the appropriate word. Being treated like a guys fucking toy, which is how it feels the very high majority of them treat me, isn't fucking impressive or "well")

 

[MountainMonkey]

Defeat

 

[Shivali]

Hopeless

 

[outatime_85]

I am alive but not living, and not dead enough. It's July now, and I'm tired. 'Real tired.'

 

[Blackhole999]

quiero ocultar mi tristeza y finalmente desaparecer

 

[waitingforrest]

i want to die

 

[ConstantPain]

I stopped acting for 3 EFing days and now have people worried about me! My boss and friends reaching out to check on me and I know I should be grateful but I'm not. I just want to be left the F! alone and not deal with the world at all. I didn't have the energy to put on the normal emmy award for best acting for 3 days and now I have to try to fake it to make it again and I don't want to!

 

[nightnightnitrite]

I keep tasting the SN I have everyday. I don't actually swallow, I just put enough on my tongue to taste and then spit. I don't know why I'm doing it. Building up courage? Hoping that little bit will end me? Not sure...

 

[Life_and_Death]

Distraught. Distressed. I haven't heard from my SO in over a week. He left me so God knows if I even will. But what makes me feel those 2 words is I just found out he has covid. he's had his shots, he doesn't have any problems, he's going to be fine. But I can't help crying. And idk why but him being sick makes me want to kms.... Fuck!!! I can't wait to hear that he's ok...

 

[brood]

Ever so slightly pissed, that is in the British sense, involving alcohol.

 

[callme]

I'm sneezing all the time for no reason. Maybe whwn it's too hot in the summer or too cold in the winter

 

[Life_and_Death]

I'd love to have someone I can go out and get wrecked with. I could use it rn

 

[Rd2nowhere]

I am stoned out of my head!

 

[callme]

I'd love to have someone I can go out and get wrecked with. I could use it rn

Look at the comment below you. Hopefully @rd2lives close enough?

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I am stoned out of my head!

Same here. Ate a little too much of an edible, so I'm feeling pretty good.

 

[nightnightnitrite]

If I don't get on within a months timeframe, I drank SN. edit- i scedueld a messged to be sent to my chikds father but it sent early and now i'm scared. idk if drinking it will actually work now. i didn't want it to send until tomorrow idk what happened. i'm scared and the message wasn't nice. panicking a lot of types sorry

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I think once I come back from my trip I've decided that I'll really try to at least get a job to sustain my selfish desires for another couple years at least til I'm 30. Unfortunately I can't CTB this year like I so desperately wanted to for a myriad of reasons but at least now I have even more time to prepare for my inevitable demise. I feel like such an asshole for having to change my plans but I figure that I'm evil anyway so I guess the world can continue to suffer longer as long as I'm alive.

Make no mistake though, if somehow in the next two years I manage to get my heart broken again, I'm ending it right there, plans be damned. I think this sort of compromise should hopefully suffice. I spent a lot of these past few days deliberating within my own council of my mind all the possible options I have and I guess the part of me that ultimately wants to survive at the cost of innocent lives managed to win. I wish I knew of more people who would be just as disgusted as I am about the prospect of me continuing to live. So many of my friends and family are convinced that my mind is warped or that my self loathing is some kind of comedic bit or manipulative tactic meant to draw sympathy. I wish they were right because then the solution to quit that would be rather easy and realizing that would have made me stop by now.

The painful truth is that I hate myself because myself is hateable. There's no changing that. No amount of mental gymnastics is going to make the worst people objectively lovable and I often feel like the only one who knows that I belong amongst their foul ranks.

I frequently agonize over what could possibly make me love myself and the obvious solution is that it will only happen if my own male hormones and glands decide to override my thoughts and through the power of simphood, force me to ascend in order to become perfect for someone else that I am romantically interested in but of course such a high cost has made me quite the discerning buyer. My standards are too high which I fear is also incurable.

Listen to me ranting yet again about my putrid lust and wrongful desires. If someone said this shit to my face, I'd want him dead too. Anyway, I guess this is my announcement that I'm not going to die this year but I'm also going to be a lot less active here regardless from this point forward…

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

I miss my cat... :(

 

[FailureGirl]

I wish the anxiety would stop causing tightness in my chest its aching but I cant stop it so many things are setting it off.. compliments from others, terror of upsetting people, people being nice to me..so much guilt I feel guilty for wanting them to care and I feel selfish and undeserving when they do care and it all hurts in my chest, it hurts and makes it hard to breath...I just want it all to stop