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D

deadeyesnowman

Member
Jan 15, 2024
51
Secretly wishing to get murdered brutally.
 
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The Unanswered Q

The Unanswered Q

Autistic NEET Loser
Jan 1, 2025
91
Dead inside, too tired to do anything, but not tired enough to get to sleep.
 
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Michi_Violeta

Michi_Violeta

Without her I'm just a cheap Louis Krages
Feb 3, 2025
486
My cousin just told me, almost tearing up, that I should take better care of my self and my family was worried about me. That she knew I could do it because I'd done it before.

That's the keyword. Before. Before life broke me AGAIN. Always getting up, always back down, and you have to deal with it. And that's life. Disappointment after disappointment and more and more trauma and everyone just tells you to deal with it because you got family and friends, as if that wasn't the bare minimum we all deserve, as if I hadn't made an effort to have more than that because I was told all my life that I was doing good and I deserved more.

I just don't want to go anymore. I don't want to be force-fed, I don't want to live just out of debts of gratitude and guilt. I wanted to be happy, I tried, and all I asked was for one person not to stab me in the heart and one dream to finally work after almost ten years of effort. I DON'T FUCKING WANT TO MOVE ON AND THE MORE THEY FORCE ME TO, THE LESS ME I BECOME. Please, God, bring my Michi back or just fucking end me, give me the courage to end it all, I don't care anymore.
 
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Alcoholic Teletubby

Alcoholic Teletubby

Rip in piss
Jan 10, 2022
440
Why is everything and everyone so shit at the moment? It's absurd and keeps stoking my naive homicidal power fantasies, where I picture killing the "bad people" to stop them from hurting other people with their bullshit.

Like... has there ever been a better moment to CTB? Right now feels like a good time.
 
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Griever

Griever

Alone Among Ghosts
May 1, 2025
262
I bought white roses for my dead best friend and I will put them on my desk, I even bought a new vase for the white roses
 
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fleetingnight

fleetingnight

incapable of shutting up
May 2, 2024
656
I can't imagine someone being nice to me without it being pity. Every time someone is nice to me, I think it through, and the only conclusion I can come to is they think I'm pathetic and are trying to help.
 
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Rynalia

Rynalia

生とは死に至る病そのものだ
Apr 22, 2025
128
AaaaAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH
 
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Griever

Griever

Alone Among Ghosts
May 1, 2025
262
I was just going through my finances because I wanted to know how much I have left to live on after all the deductions for this month, and I was so engrossed that I had an anxiety attack and now I'm getting so sick that I feel like I'm about to throw up. It's only the beginning of the month and I'm almost out of money due to my impulsive purchases I've made over the past few days. I'm going to get through this month financially, I know that because I've always done it, but this is the worst month so far that I've made so many impulsive purchases that I'm almost out of money. Luckily, my fixed costs are all covered, but right now I just want to die so I don't have to worry about how I'm going to get through the month financially. I hate myself and my life so much.
 
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SVEN

SVEN

I Wish I'd Been a Jester Too.
Apr 3, 2023
2,661
I feel very dark.
 
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Daenerys Targaryen

Daenerys Targaryen

toxic
Jan 4, 2025
377
angry at AI
 
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Griever

Griever

Alone Among Ghosts
May 1, 2025
262
Yesterday I felt very bad and today I feel a little better, thanks to the lovely people who replied to my thread and helped me, but the desire to die will always remain
 
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matchalavendercake

matchalavendercake

pokémon devotee forever (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.゚
Feb 23, 2025
27
beyond terrible, as expected lol. also i was hoping i will ctb sometime this month but i found out a relative's bday party is coming up sometime next month, and mom and sister are helping decorating for that party.. i know i am going thru the most mental pain i have ever felt, but now since that's happening i guess i'll have to postpone ctb again, bcs i do not want to potentially end up making them not wna go to that party anymore due to me ctb. i want them to have a good day there, so i guess i'm going to have to endure js a bit longer… but i rlly don't know if i'll even be able to endure, everything js hurts so fucking badly sighhh
 
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NSA

NSA

Your friendly neighborhood agent
Feb 21, 2022
270
Nothing like yet another fight with the absolute morons i share DNA with to remind me i really am just waiting around to die.

I could do it now. But I don't want to yet. Sure would be nice to not have to hear them bitching in the meanwhile though.
We need an emoji for "relatable".
 
Last edited:
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Promised Heaven

Promised Heaven

Eternally atoning
Feb 1, 2024
694
I wanna take weed so badly
I want comfort
I want reassurance
 
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enduringwinter

enduringwinter

flower, water
Jun 20, 2024
336
Tired of my life and who I am.

Back then, whenever I feel bored or lonely I'd start doing things but now I just cant be bothered. I feel like I've seen it all and I don't want to lift a finger.
 
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D

Dejected 55

Student
May 7, 2025
141
Profound misery and detachment from everything. Pain and tears from observing connections in others that I know I am capable of but have never experienced myself. Sad realization that I could be a really good, funny, supportive, loving person but have never had a fair chance to be so, and knowing that whether I live weeks, months, or decades longer, I will always and forever be alone and isolated and misunderstood.
 
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S

sukiduki

Student
Mar 24, 2024
144
i feel sad that it won't really change anyone much when i die. but that's part of the reason i wanna die. i have no reason to stay here. also i'm so sick and tired of my mom. being around her feels like actual hell. i wanna escape so badly. i wish all my family obligations could wrap up faster so i can peace out as soon as possible.
 
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Dongle

Dongle

FIRMLY GRASP IT
Apr 14, 2025
43
Checked the hell out of the online D&D game I'm in, and have been basically since it started 3-4ish hours ago. I haven't really wanted to play in a long time but I don't want to have to get into the reasons why, were I to talk about it.
 
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onetimereject

onetimereject

Living the life of a problem
Jun 18, 2023
32
I feel silly, i'm recently diagnosed as type 2 diabetic, i get high blood sugar reading without meds, but even on lowest dosage of meds, my blood sugar kept crashing.

I'm diabetic yet i have to consume sugar to live.
 
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Alexei_Kirillov

Alexei_Kirillov

More beast than man
Mar 9, 2024
1,198
Wishing that I had never gotten an eating disorder. My body has stuck me in a trap from which I will never emerge, because all exits involve tradeoffs that I'm unwilling or unable to tolerate. Either I deal with the problems of recovery, or I deal with the problems of my ED. Both bad options that cause suffering. It's like being asked whether I want to be shot or stabbed (although I guess that analogy doesn't work as well on a suicide forum lmao).
 
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dewdrop

dewdrop

always freaked out
Apr 20, 2025
18
I feel really scared. Everything around me is distorted. It's like I'm zoomed out of my body, the static in my ears is so loud, and everything is wobbling. I can hear LOUD screaming, demanding i do bad things. my vision is static. i feel something breathing down my neck. My soft bed feels like hard concrete. am i Going to die?
 
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Alcoholic Teletubby

Alcoholic Teletubby

Rip in piss
Jan 10, 2022
440
This may not necessarily belong here, but I'd rather try than not try. As many of us can attest, the desire to pass on peacefully would be the most preferred way to CTB. However, we do not have that being an option, lest we be already on the brink of death. I stumbled across this while browsing Insta today:
https://www.instagram.com/unfriendlydisabledblkblogger/

To summarize, this young woman is undergoing end-of-life care after developing congestive heart failure and a drug-resistant bloodstream infection. In Switzerland, she wants to move forward with voluntary assisted death (VAD). She has the choice to proceed with this treatment, therefore, I wanted to share her story and see if members of the forum might be interested in aiding her in donating funds towards her travel expenses for said procedure. I know we're all struggling, so I merely want to spread the word to ease her journey.
 
  • Hugs
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matchalavendercake

matchalavendercake

pokémon devotee forever (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.゚
Feb 23, 2025
27
beyond terrible, as expected lol. also i was hoping i will ctb sometime this month but i found out a relative's bday party is coming up sometime next month, and mom and sister are helping decorating for that party.. i know i am going thru the most mental pain i have ever felt, but now since that's happening i guess i'll have to postpone ctb again, bcs i do not want to potentially end up making them not wna go to that party anymore due to me ctb. i want them to have a good day there, so i guess i'm going to have to endure js a bit longer… but i rlly don't know if i'll even be able to endure, everything js hurts so fucking badly sighhh
yea i decided i'm js gna try escaping this stupid hellhole when i soon get the opportunity to, whether it be in this month or in a very few months, it js better not take long. i don't want them to care and i don't want to burden anyone anymore, especially when i never belong in this universe anyway. i need them to be glad that i finally don't have to suffer in this body i've been trapped in anymore, and then forget i even existed. this body is so fucking useless and disgusting, i will never ever think of that body as myself now. why js why was my soul put in this universe by mistake?!?!?!? i have completely dissociated from this universe and i'm so fucking thankful i did, i cannot wait to finally escape soon!!!!!!!!!! nothing will ever stop me, nothing!!!!!!!!!! and i mean it, i really truly genuinely do.
 
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BlendedHeart

BlendedHeart

It is what it is
Mar 9, 2024
230
I've been reading and watching a lot of stuff about Carl Jung. Maybe it isn't the most healthy interpretation of his books, but it has made me understand I need to stop dedicating time and thoughts to people who have long forgotten about me. It is hard, but maybe it will help me to ease my mind a little.

Specially on these Saturday nights, when my frustrations, my depression, my loneliness come to haunt me.
 
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broken_stoic

broken_stoic

Wander till you find your place
Aug 21, 2024
138
Intense rage and wishing someone would kill me.
 
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darksouls

darksouls

Member
May 10, 2025
26
I feel empty. Like if you slice me open, you'll find nothing there. Just black emptiness. I go through life mechanically, and it's like every emotion I feel is fake. Like they're really just at the surface. Beneath, there's nothing. It's weird. I know what to feel but I don't feel it.

I'm hurting and because of that, I end up hurting others. I don't want to cause pain anymore. I don't want to feel pain anymore. I just want it all to end.
inner emptiness,desperate,my depression causes me mental pain
 
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Griever

Griever

Alone Among Ghosts
May 1, 2025
262
I'm glad that I was able to watch Final Destination in the cinema yesterday and that I was able to buy one of my games from my wishlist
 
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L9 CHOCOIRL

L9 CHOCOIRL

disillusioned
Nov 3, 2023
205
Feelin quite glorious today
 
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