Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[whitetaildeer]

i'm frustrated with myself. i can't get anything done; i'm getting angry i can't get anything done, and somehow that anger alone isn't motivating enough. i don't know what my problem is. i just want to bury myself in work or something productive but i can't and that's infuriating

 

[Lullaby]

You would think on a website like this, you'd find people who wouldn't contribute to your existing trauma in some way, but lesson learned.

 

[Michi_Violeta]

I don't want to lose you, I don't want to forget you. I know you're not here, I know you left, you abandoned me when I needed you and I pleaded, I asked for you to wait and you replaced me. You saw my scars, you kissed them, you promised we'd take care of each other and showed me I could still love and I loved you, fuck, AND I STILL DO LIKE THAT DAMN DEAN LEWIS SONG SAYS, but...but then it all ended and I've been living a fucking nightmare since then. And you're happy with that asshole who makes me feel so inferior like everything I've done in life was fucking worthless. And I'm here, crying every night because I don't want to get over you, I don't want to let go because we were supposed to be in each other's lives after all that love and we said it and we promised. I was taking things slow, I didn't want to make a mistake, I didn't want to pressure you or to make false promises because I love you God dammit, I do, and you were the most beautiful bond I had and most intimate and I trusted you and now you're gone and I don't want to lose you, I don't want to forget you.

Please God, give me back my michi or just end my fucking suffering already.

 

[fuewybfunsfoiceoi]

I'm still alive, and that really sucks!

 

[Sad580]

Tired.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Awake again... Can't sleep.... Why ???

 

[Electra]

I feel a little undecided. Like what am I supposed to do now? I wanna be involved, but don't wanna seem too pushing.

 

[blood-orange]

Starting to feel numb from the SSRIs i'm taking.

 

[sukiduki]

i feel so depressed and i wish i could express it and talk about it more than just typing some words here and then tabbing out. i'm grateful to at least have this outlet but i feel like i'm constantly screaming internally idk how much longer i can last

 

[tiredtired]

numb depersonalised terror. going through the day is just discomfort. everything feels wrong. from my body to my mind. brain chucks so much at me. i yearn for peace and safety. sometimes that's some time alone. sometimes that's immersion in art. sometimes that's being asleep. sometimes it's yearning for death.

 

[Prism]

I hope something good happens for whoever reads this

 

[Promised Heaven]

I doubled the dose of marijuana yesterday to cope and the aftereffects has affected me throughout my shift. I've been getting minor memory gaps (Being in the break room but barely remember walking there), a bit more brazen, not anxious in the slightest, and overall perked up.

Looking to buy more from the dispensary sometime next week and stockpile as much as I legally can, it's the only way I can keep myself from impulsively ending my life.

 

[IsolatedChaos]

I feel extremely anxious. Exhausted, but restless. I'm wishing for pasts that are too late to mend, and I feel like I'm not allowed the privilege of feeling like others do. I feel like every time I try to set a boundary I'm at fault for doing so. I don't feel like I have the privilege to live as a human. I don't feel well-treated. Not by other people, but in a sense not even by life itself. I feel so. Fucking. Tired.

 

[cme-dme]

Melancholy. Feeling pretty tired.

 

[Michi_Violeta]

Tomorrow is my birthday and I don't want to wake up here. I want to wake up one year ago, when my ex organized a lovely Cars-themed surprise party with my friends. With each passing day I lose more and more hope, it seems like my Michi isn't coming back and it's breaking my heart. I gave her everything, I did my best, I spent 7 years alone before I met her and I really, truly loved her. It wasn't an intense and consuming sort of dependent love which, apparently, is what she would've wanted: it was a calm, beautiful, patient feeling of care and trust and thinking that beautiful person would stay in your life in one way or another despite the label and that someone finally understood and loved you for who you are after all these years of loneliness and pain.

And then just gone. In an instant. Like second gear in my car's gearbox during the last racing event of 2024. All the effort and passion I could muster, years of waiting, months of care: gone in fractions of a second. How am I supposed to have hope when this just keeps happening to me like God was just constantly denying me the two things I've always wanted, the two things that make me feel like all this fucking effort to survive is worth it?

 

[CTB Dream]

You would think on a website like this, you'd find people who wouldn't contribute to your existing trauma in some way, but lesson learned.

ya vsry hman all awfl even forim do samy rly awfl evn me injury damage ppl make pain sffr make wrs make trama

 

[cme-dme]

Actually, I'll write some more. I have been reading romance doujinshi lately. It is particularly fluffy and cute romance and I enjoy reading them but they make me feel incredibly lonely and depressed. I wish I had people I could be close with and show my affection to. I am listening to this song on loop for a while now. It's both calming and melancholic. I might fall asleep with it playing. It's from the game Yume 2kki which is a game with overwhelming beauty at times.

 

[render]

the truth is that im not even human. im a monster, an irredeemable scumsucking lowlife bastard with nothing goin good for him. i hurt too many damn people just by bein myself and i deserve to be isolated from everyone cause otherwise ill hurt more people. its a fuckin public service im doin here