Discussion I think I'm just gonna do it without thinking I'm gonna do it. No "preparation"

[fkyou]

I think I'm just gonna do it without thinking I'm gonna do it. No "preparation",no last meal no anything. Turns out it's just a type of SI where you want to do many things" before ctb date" but it's just si tomorrow you'll want the same thing again. Long time passes and you don't feel like you did a thing although I did what I wanted but nice moments do not last. And depression and anger hits again the next morning like you never felt happiness once.
In fact when I prepare for the date I experience more sadness..i replay the reasons that led me to this..and I don't want that I wanna leave silently..that's why impulsive suicide is the way to go .

 

[unluckysadness]

I feel the same. Having a date in mind is too stressful for me. Anyway, most of suicides are impulsive. I know a story about someone who shot himself after doing a washing machine. He had Huntington's disease, so I suppose he had enough at that point and he gone. When it's time to go, it's time.
I plan to take SN. May I ask you what is your method ?

 

[fkyou]

I feel the same. Having a date in mind is too stressful for me. Anyway, most of suicides are impulsive. I know a story about someone who shot himself after doing a washing machine. He had Huntington's disease, so I suppose he had enough at that point and he gone. When it's time to go, it's time.
I plan to take SN. May I ask you what is your method ?

My method is partial hanging.im jealous of you. If I had sn I could've done it long time ago at night in peace

 

[bloominghopelessne]

Exactly. Planning makes you drain your nervous system, filling yourself with doubts, accompanied by SI. Your method is the only one available to me as well. I avoid it at all costs because of my ideas about the "best" way to die and because I have the judgment that it requires preparation, like fasting and cleansing the intestines, to reduce the details noticed by close ones. You could get a license for a weapon, live on high floors, but there are circumstances that make this impossible. How furious I am about this. To hell with everything, it all leads to this repeating over and over. There will be a voice when I clean, urging me to strike myself with vegetables I would do it, just like hanging, even though, in the end, it's the end. The end for my loved ones is also inevitable they too will die, and my reflections on the best way will be meaningless.

 

[fkyou]

Exactly. Planning makes you drain your nervous system, filling yourself with doubts, accompanied by SI. Your method is the only one available to me as well. I avoid it at all costs because of my ideas about the "best" way to die and because I have the judgment that it requires preparation, like fasting and cleansing the intestines, to reduce the details noticed by close ones. You could get a license for a weapon, live on high floors, but there are circumstances that make this impossible. How furious I am about this. To hell with everything, it all leads to this repeating over and over. There will be a voice when I clean, urging me to strike myself with vegetables I would do it, just like hanging, even though, in the end, it's the end. The end for my loved ones is also inevitable they too will die, and my reflections on the best way will be meaningless.

Yeah.it sucks tho to realize this late. Part of it also has to do with the fact that partial hanging isn't the best method. In terms of both timing control and success. To be fair I don't even consider it a method.i just want to die and leave this cage and that's it.its been a long time for me here.
I see you are new here in this site

 

[smellyleaf]

The only thing that stops me is preparation, I agree. When I dwell too much on what I need to do beforehand, notes I should write, loose ends I should tie up…. Especially when I try to plan for my own clean up, I hesitate because I hit stumbling blocks. When to fast, what kind of diapers or bags to put on/under myself

It goes against my nature to just do something impulsive that's only for me. I worry how my family will feel or if it will be a burden….

I have recently had the exact same thought as you. I've got to stop prepping & just do.

 

[knickknack81]

I see why people are hesitate to prepare for CTB. I totally get what everyone is writing. I think the issue though is for certain methods if you dont prepare and just go in cold or really know what you are doing, you could make a mistake with yr attempt and do things wrong. Doing more damage to yr, going to the hospital, getting sent to psych treatment center, and other things that would make it very difficult to attempt it in the near future. As horrible as SI can be in stopping yr attempt, it might be a better option that doing serious damage to yr body. Maybe its a good thing to be somewhat prepared.

 

[unluckysadness]

My method is partial hanging.im jealous of you. If I had sn I could've done it long time ago at night in peace

Yes hanging is very stressful but to be honest, I don't know if my SN is pure enough. I didn't test it and I opened it twice, which was a bad idea because contact with air is not good and might turn it into nitrate. In this case I'm screwed. If you cannot find it on clear net because of restrictions, could you see into darknet ? I'm sure you can find it there

 

[cookiencream]

God I wish I had a gun, impulsively pulling a trigger is so much easier than setting up for hanging or SN. God I hate being here in this world. Please someone kill me

 

[tercermundista]

God I wish I had a gun, impulsively pulling a trigger is so much easier than setting up for hanging or SN. God I hate being here in this world. Please someone kill me

Hanging myself is my only available method...how I wish I had N or inert gas.

 

[cookiencream]

Hanging myself is my only available method...how I wish I had N or inert gas.

Hanging is also my only method, I've had two previous attempts with it that I chickened out of. So I KNOW I can't do it....I want help, I want someone to go "oh actually here's a way to die that you can do too!" I hate myself. I want to die by poisoning but it's unreliable.

 

[tercermundista]

Hanging is also my only method, I've had two previous attempts with it that I chickened out of. So I KNOW I can't do it....I want help, I want someone to go "oh actually here's a way to die that you can do too!" I hate myself. I want to die by poisoning but it's unreliable.

The only thing it caused was pain and a mark on my neck. The problem with this method not working is that it leaves a mark that's hard to hide if you live with someone else.
Also, from what I've been able to find out, it turns out some people lose consciousness much more easily than others, and I can't do it. I hate my life!

 

[cookiencream]

The only thing it caused was pain and a mark on my neck. The problem with this method not working is that it leaves a mark that's hard to hide if you live with someone else.
Also, from what I've been able to find out, it turns out some people lose consciousness much more easily than others, and I can't do it. I hate my life!

Me too...I'm too traumatized by hanging to go through with it I think. Right now I'm searching like crazy for other methods...I need another method. I'm begging....

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

I'm constantly on the lookout for opportunities for "accidents". I think one of these days it will be a random impulsive event for me.

 

[Nightfoot]

Acting impulsively can increase the odds of making a mistake and winding up in worse shape.