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arielpandora

arielpandora

New Member
May 11, 2023
4
I feel empty. Like if you slice me open, you'll find nothing there. Just black emptiness. I go through life mechanically, and it's like every emotion I feel is fake. Like they're really just at the surface. Beneath, there's nothing. It's weird. I know what to feel but I don't feel it.

I'm hurting and because of that, I end up hurting others. I don't want to cause pain anymore. I don't want to feel pain anymore. I just want it all to end.
Feeling like I know what I need to do but not sure if I have the strength to do it.
 
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gum

gum

Forgotten
Feb 13, 2023
27
Forgotten and lonely, was talking to friends and certain actions on their end has resulted in me feeling a nuisance that they would prefer to not be there. So I cope, whether it's true or internalized self-loathing being projected onto them.
 
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Arachnid_Antichrist

Arachnid_Antichrist

Probably a Philosophical Eldritch Being
Jul 2, 2023
51
Kinda sad lokey. I was having a really fun convo on a video game with somone and then they just said "gtg bye" and left the game. Like bruuuu why?????? I just wanted to talk to someone. 😭
 
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C

chloramine

Arcanist
Apr 18, 2022
499
I miss having people so much. Everything hurts and I should really be sleeping, but I also really love people in general and I wish I could be part of people right now. Not as in loving myself because no, but I wish I could belong. I don't belong anywhere. I'll go back to being numb soon, so now that the intensity of my emotions have calmed down it's kinda nice to actually feel things relatively unimpeded even if it's still painful. I'm tired of being touch deprived and really want safe hugs on demand or something. It feels like something is squeezing my chest and keeping my lungs from ever filling up fully. And like something is clawing me from inside my chest. I really wish something outside of me would cause me to die so I could be done with everything without all the issues that come with suicide.
 
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LoiteringClouds

LoiteringClouds

Tempus fugit
Feb 7, 2023
3,760
Today my brain simply stopped working and I'm having a hard time to reply to messages people sent to me. My mind is just blank.
 
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B

blackccat

Member
Jul 25, 2023
8
Sleepy
 
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_Alfarooq_

_Alfarooq_

Useless bastard almost making the decision to CTB.
Jul 24, 2023
291
I feel empty. Like if you slice me open, you'll find nothing there. Just black emptiness. I go through life mechanically, and it's like every emotion I feel is fake. Like they're really just at the surface. Beneath, there's nothing. It's weird. I know what to feel but I don't feel it.

I'm hurting and because of that, I end up hurting others. I don't want to cause pain anymore. I don't want to feel pain anymore. I just want it all to end.
I feel like a failure and that ive failed everyone, I hate verybody because they make me feel like I owe them success or something and I dont want to feel like that
 
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todiefor

todiefor

I hope I made some +ve difference in ppl’s lives
Jun 24, 2023
436
I feel like I'm deeply buried 6 feet under with all the weight of dirt and betrayal on my chest and I can't breathe. There's dirt in my mouth betrayal worms in my ears, centerpedes crawling around my hands. I can't breathe, there's no air, my heart is pounding so hard so unnecessarily like it knows it's in imminent danger of death and trying to escape from my rib cage.

I definitely would prefer to be cremated.
 
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Extra Expression

Extra Expression

Member
Jul 1, 2023
9
Misery and sadness. Been crying everyday lol 👍
 
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iLikeFrogs

iLikeFrogs

In the grippy socks jail
May 5, 2023
88
Like I have an endless hole where my heart should be. hollow/empty sorta
 
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Bioforever12

Bioforever12

Member
Jul 25, 2023
29
why does nobody care about me. I gf is impossible to get, why do I get stuck on one person. I know they'll disappoint me. idk what to do anymore
 
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_Alfarooq_

_Alfarooq_

Useless bastard almost making the decision to CTB.
Jul 24, 2023
291
why does nobody care about me. I gf is impossible to get, why do I get stuck on one person. I know they'll disappoint me. idk what to do anymore
I don't even have friends, let alone rizz. Ha.
 
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VirtualSnow

VirtualSnow

who knows
May 21, 2022
110
Still living the lie somehow, yet each time things get harder I seem to be better prepared. I've already disposed mostly of what I used to call my values and there's not much holding me back.
 
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enough of this

enough of this

Specialist
Jun 4, 2023
361
Sadness, anxiety, loneliness.
 
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girlboything

girlboything

drugged up doll
Jun 1, 2023
56
i already had a fucked memory bc of the metric ton of trauma and drug use and the electroconvulsive therapy didn't help my suicidality but my memory is absolutely destroyed. ive been burning myself with cigarettes but its significantly less bad than when i used to give myself burns by heating up scissors. my new therapist is cool. i hate my parents but i have to play nice bc they pay for my existence. i miss my apartment and ill never get to go back. i don't know if i'll survive long enough to make it to my goal of living with my bff. i tried to hang myself last week but panicked before i blacked out and stopped and i can't tell anyone or ill get locked up again. im proud of myself for showering and changing my clothes today. i wish i knew how to inject drugs. i wish i was social enough to know a plug. i miss the ketamine infusions even though they didn't really help my depression other than the hour im hooked up to the iv. i wish i had someone who would beat me up consensually and fuck me in a cruel and violent manner but i'm in the middle of fucking nowhere and i don't really want to do it with a cishet person so basically im alone. my only friend here is too preoccupied with what i think is psychosis to really be friends. i don't understand why i can't function. i'm going to burn myself more later probably. i really love emo music. i'm trying so hard to just not make things worse. if there was a loaded gun in front of me id shoot myself immediately. even shooting yourself isn't foolproof. i hate alien girl so fucking much. i hate cam. i wish my friends with jobs would stop using it as a reason to ignore me and feel justified. i feel like im only valuable because people want to fuck me. no one is interested in anything i post except porn. i know i make good porn but no one is willing to buy it. i hope everyone who thinks onlyfans is easy money dies of leprosy. elliot page is so hot. hard candy is the perfect movie. i wonder if theres anywhere online i can post pictures of my self harm and not get booted.
 
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C

ConstantPain

Sorry but cats are so much better than people
Jun 9, 2022
231
Smothered. Or maybe it's that the air is tainted somehow that is causing pressure in my chest. Either way, I can't get any sort of deep breath. The air is too heavy and if I feel like I'm getting crushed, why the hell can't I just really be. Fatal anything, that's all I can wish for. An accident, natural disaster, violent death, any terminal illness. Most people don't want them so why can't I take someone else's?
 
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CTB Dream

CTB Dream

Disabled. Hard talk, don't argue, make fun, etc
Sep 17, 2022
2,233
Think need plan end,not able stay this awfl life this awfl species
 
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O

outatime_85

Warlock
May 17, 2022
774
One Step Closer.
 
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not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Archangel
Mar 23, 2018
8,412
Drained, sad, miserable, unfriended, ghosted, insomnia, been broken....
Life=Shit
 
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cheese.out

cheese.out

Why am I still here
Jul 25, 2023
204
I just feel empty. Even in moments where I normally would feel happiness I just feel like a bystander watching everyone having fun in life excepting me. Im so tired and even in moments of hope I come back to reality and think to my self: whats the point? I cant understand how most people just live their 9-5 life till their old and be in this gray world for so long. Idk when I will ctb but I still can not imagine living in this world for serveral decades.
 
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CarambaAlbum

CarambaAlbum

Member
Jun 16, 2023
51
I'm pissed off so many people like Sinead O'Connor, she is a shit stain on Irish history and is only noteworthy for being an attention seeking, mentally ill POS. I fucking hate her and her ilk so fucking much.

I've been getting really angry lately, I can't sleep comfortably due to the heat. Fans don't work. I'm so angry every moment of the day but I have to bottle it up or the police will be called. I'm going to have to do something about this, something needs to be done. I feel like a ticking timebomb and I need to CBT soon to defuse it.

Ricardo Lopez is the closest person I can relate to but he had the luxury of having a gun and being a lot smarter than me.
 
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todiefor

todiefor

I hope I made some +ve difference in ppl’s lives
Jun 24, 2023
436
I can't do this anymore I really wish to stop feeling the pain and suffering. Each morning is more difficult to get up from, i don't know how to do any of this

I think I'm in the just stare into space phase where I just can't do anything anymore
 
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T

Teacups

Member
Jul 19, 2023
5
Tired and nauseous.
 
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not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Archangel
Mar 23, 2018
8,412
So damn tired. Can't stay awake. Just want my forever sleep.
 
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G

glendaaa

Student
Jul 11, 2023
106
Sleepy and nauseated 🤢
 
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not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Archangel
Mar 23, 2018
8,412
Took a nap and probably fucked myself for sleeping tonight.
 
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SadPingu

SadPingu

I'll go out like a spark, my trauma and me.
Jul 27, 2023
60
Broken
 
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Zegers

Zegers

Enlightened
Dec 15, 2021
1,763
I was going to reply to some posts but i am simply tired even to type, I am sick of such limited and bad life.
 
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CTB Dream

CTB Dream

Disabled. Hard talk, don't argue, make fun, etc
Sep 17, 2022
2,233
Rly awfl feel sad
 
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P

psp3000

Enlightened
May 20, 2023
1,352
I feel like crying
why does everyone who ever hurt me get to live a good life and forget all the things they've done while I have to just sit here and remember it all over and over again and have nightmares about everything bad that has ever happened to me
 
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