Discussion What age did you wish you had ctb?

[TheGoodGuy]

For me 17 I even realized my social life was over at that age and it only went down hill from then on, my happiness ended at 12 years old but I still had memorable experiences in my teenage years.

So what at what age did you wish you had committed suicide? I bet there are a lot of old people on here like me (almost 25) who wish they had just ended the suffering and misery years ago.

 

[CoolGuy9]

I'm 19 and while I have been depressed since 12, this made me realize that i'm kind of happy to have seen all those years even though they sucked.

 

[Iceangel]

Been thinking about it since I was 10, never left me since. Wish Id had the courage then. 25 now and worse off than ever

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Been thinking about it since I was 10, never left me since. Wish Id had the courage then. 25 now and worse off than ever

Pro life people say "it will get better" it didn´t it got worse by every year had we just ctb back when we wanted to commit suicide the first time we would have been spared so much shit.

 

[Iceangel]

Pro life people say "it will get better" it didn´t it got worse by every year had we just ctb back when we wanted to commit suicide the first time we would have been spared so much shit.

Cant tell you how many times Ive heard that croc. I think when they say this theyre talking about the little moments of happiness that pop up but lets be honest here, when you desperately want to die, little moments arent enough especially when those are few and far between*.

 

[Rachel]

13. I mean I did try, just wish it had worked...

 

[TheGoodGuy]

13. I mean I did try, just wish it had worked...

How old are you now? and do you wish you had ctb years ago?

 

[letmeseethedeath]

For me 17 I even realized my social life was over at that age and it only went down hill from then on, my happiness ended at 12 years old but I still had memorable experiences in my teenage years.

So what at what age did you wish you had committed suicide? I bet there are a lot of old people on here like me (almost 25) who wish they had just ended the suffering and misery years ago.

i'm 23 and i've been depressed since 11. i wish i had committed suicide at 11 when my mental and physical pain started. i never had a social life with friends, only people who used me and when i was 8 some idiots laughed at me without no reasons

 

[Rachel]

How old are you now? and do you wish you had ctb years ago?

Im 22 now. And yes, I do. I mean Im thankful for the memories I got to make with my family but, it would've of been easier for them to deal with my death when I was 13. Especially my brothers, if they were still little my death wouldnt hit them as much as it could now

 

[Pentobartbital]

I wish I'd opened my veins at eighteen as originally desired. Would have saved myself and others a great deal of trouble.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

i'm 23 and i've been depressed since 11. i wish i had committed suicide at 11 when my mental and physical pain started. i never had a social life with friends, only people who used me and when i was 8 some idiots laughed at me without no reasons

Im 22 now. And yes, I do. I mean Im thankful for the memories I got to make with my family but, it would've of been easier for them to deal with my death when I was 13. Especially my brothers, if they were still little my death wouldnt hit them as much as it could now

Damn to me it seems so unreal that a person THAT young really wanna kill themselves

I wish I'd opened my veins at eighteen as originally desired. Would have saved myself and others a great deal of trouble.

Perfect age in my opinion, at least past 20 years old life doesn´t have anything positive to bring to the table.

 

[letmeseethedeath]

Damn to me it seems so unreal that a person THAT young really wanna kill themselves

you know.. life is pain when people like me want to kill themself so young i can really say life is a waste of everything. i mean, life is meaningless

 

[anuglymale]

I actually started to think about it when I was really young, like 12-13

 

[TheGoodGuy]

you know.. life is pain when people like me want to kill themself so young i can really say life is a waste of everything. i mean, life is meaningless

Well to me childhood was paradise on earth like until I turned 12 years old (entered puberty) so past that I can definitely see life was hell but as a child life was heaven on earth to me and I REALLY wanted to die at age 14-15 but for someone to TRULY wanting to die at age 11-12 seems so unreal to me.

 

[nopoint]

9. That's the age I first wanted to die. I wish I had done it then, so I did not have to see how shit I am now.
Also, as a kid, I'll be more ignorant, so I won't have the fear of failure.

 

[Iceangel]

9. That's the age I first wanted to die. I wish I had done it then, so I did not have to see how shit I am now.
Also, as a kid, I'll be more ignorant, so I won't have the fear of failure.

Exactly this :| thank you for putting my incomplete thought into words. Sums up all my suicidal fantasies at 10...

 

[GeorgeJL]

I'm middle aged right now. And I don't want to take my life until I am an old man. But there was a small time period where I tried to kill myself a few years ago when I had a mental breakdown. I'm better now though.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Nine, when I voiced my first suicidal intent. Every single year since then has gotten worse. Never should have listened to know-it-alls who promised life would get better.

 

[noonetoo]

Oh, no! We are not old yet. 40+ is officially old. No offense to the elders on here. I'm 26 and still get id'ed everywhere.

At 8 years old, I was officially introduced to the horrors in this world with no escape. My first attempt wasn't until I was 15 years old. I wish I would've attempted sooner and succeeded but unfortunately, something wants to keep me here. I don't understand what for but I've been in so many situations where I could've been on the "1,000 ways to die" show .

I'm such a loser at life though that of course I'm such a loser at dying.

It's so heartbreaking seeing all the people wishing they would've died young. Oh, this world that breaks us! I feel for all of you.

 

[Psilo]

Depression started for me at age 17-18, back then I knew I was a failure in life. I wished I had CTB back then. I definitely don't to reach the 30's, not the way I am right now.

I'm 27, I would be happy if I find the courage to do it before my 28's birthday. At least I would be in the cool people club, 27 is probably the best age for me to CTB.

 

[Ch92921]

16

 

[Death.]

Wish I had died at 21. Surprisingly, I remember stating that I don't want to live anymore at that age however for some reason it only dawned on me recently that suicide is a viable option. It just seemed unfathomable and out of reach in my earlier years and I find the contrast in mindset very interesting

 

[Crimsonskye]

Dying in the womb would have been ideal

 

[JJ-NOHOPE]

I wish I had killed myself when I was 12 before I got raped for the first time.

I am 54 now.

I did try to kill myself 4 times: twice at 13 , at 15 & 16 years of age.

Still angry at my younger self for not dying.

 

[Deafsn0w]

17

 

[TAW122]

I have first thought about ctb around age 12, though not seriously and it was merely a passing thought. I first seriously contemplated it at age 14. Then throughout my last decade and more, life has just been the ups and downs. Thus, I don't have an exact age of when I wished I'd ctb. I can't say that I enjoy life atm, and wouldn't care if I died, I'm rather just apathetic towards life.

 

[lost.ghost]

Definitely 12 when I first became depressed, I did attempt twice at 12. My teenage years were so unbearable. I didn't have as many people in my life back then, so I think it Would've been easier for others to deal with

 

[snowman626]

I want to die now at 33. If i die now i get to lay there in my dying spot while thinking about all those years of depression and feeling glad that its finally over and done with, and all the future years of depression that i wouldnt have to endure.

 

[Kyrok]

I'm in my 50s and I should have ctb either at 11 or at 28.

 

[kaliban923]

I'm in my 50s and I should have ctb either at 11 or at 28.

Late 40s here. In my early 20s I drove somewhere isolated and hooked my car exhaust to inside my car with a hose but didn't go through with it. I realize I wasn't serious about it then. I am reasonably serious now. Still fighting survival instinct