Venting What a cruel world

[Some place nice]

I have to watch the love of my life fall in love with someone else. We planed our future together, the year we wanted kids, the year of our wedding, and we planed our wedding. They don't love me anymore but i just keep hoping that they come back. I really wanted to spend the rest of my life with them... They gave me a reason to live... Now i get to see them being happy with someone else. Why is the world so cruel? I almost had everything i wanted so why did it blow up in my face? I gave them my whole being, everything i had i gave to them. Am i just not lovable? I was and still am obsessed with them and it hurts to see them with someone else. I dont wanna live without them in my arms. I miss falling asleep on the phone, hearing them breathing/sleeping, them patting me on the head as we cuddled, i fucking miss the cuddling that was the best part, and i miss thier giggle and them quietly saying "i love you too" when i would say i love you to them. Im so lonely now and they're the only thing i can think of besides ctb. I've attempted so many times recently out of desperation but they all failed. It hurts to exsist without telling them how much i love them, i just want to shout it at them but that wont do anything, just make them upset bc of the pain they are causing me. I just want to die so i dont have to see it anymore it hurts so fucking much that it becomes unbearable.