I wish things were different for you too. And I empathize with the health issues, which are made so much more difficult within our current system. I swear I have daydreams about a doctor, one doctor who knows the whole of me and can treat systemically instead of a bunch of specialists who stick to their own little fields, often "don't know" and frequently don't seem to care.
I go to them when I *have* to these days and even *then,* via tele-visit if I can manage it
Sorry for the rift (and all my freaking errors in my previous post; must have neglected to proof that one.)
Having a terrible landlord added to health problems is well, just so unfair and plain sucks.
I want to write something helpful and uplifting, but does that ever really make anyone feel better? What people need, what you need, is actual, real help.
One thing I do sometimes say to people ready to let go is this: Take heart; you *will* die. In fact, that is the single thing in this life you cannot prevent. Your death is inevitable; you cannot stop it.
I don't know how much peace that will give you now as I can hear the suffering in your post, but maybe knowing that hey, you could slip in the bathroom tomorrow, might bring you a smile.
:)
LOL, yes, I do like dark humour-nice to see you here too!
Yes, I know what you mean about that extreme tiredness. At our age our bodies are well on the decline, but it's really the mental tiredness, the anhedonia (my new favourite word) and the hopelessness - we've seen it all so it's hard not to be cynical or apathetic.
Sorry, I missed this earlier.
I like it too, your new word. I love words so learning new ones, hey, ironically in this case, gives me pleasure. Ha.
I completely agree; it's the mental/emotional/psychological (I really need to look those up and parse them out) pain that is so exhausting. Especially for so many of us that have battled such since we can recall memories.
The apathy scares me the most, when it hits. It's like a ghost; hard to fight.
