We're all just one bad day away ™️

[Sleeper System]

Hello, again. It's been a while since I've posted anything.
Seven months have gone by in the blink of an eye.
I've been so busy with work that I have no time to be sad.
Kind of vexing how that played out. Infuriating, actually.

Anyway, ideation will never go away for me. I know that i'm always one bad day away from breaking. It's a fragile existence but I've tried my best to thicken my skins. So far, i'm getting by on just focusing on work. Being an adult sucks. I remember when being a kid sucked. I guess it all just sucks in the end.

Losing my job would probably be the final straw for me.
I know so many people can relate to that and it's comforting.
I will not be starting over no sir. I'm clocking out of life.

I am so detached from people that my relationships are starting to feel like obligations or a duty that I have to perform. I'm not saying i'm emotionless. It's just gets easier to stop caring when you've become a solitary creature who barely communicates with anyone.

I'm sure everyone has different breaking point. I'd be interested to know what other people's final straws would be.

 

[squiddedoutt]

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[_Gollum_]

I thought I recognized your profile pic, nice to hear from you again. Why do you say that it's "vexing"/"infuriating" how your work panned out?

I think the final straw for me would be another severe depressive episode. The only thing keeping me here right now is inertia. As Camus said, we get into the habit of living long before we get into the habit of thinking. So right now it's easier to just keep waking up everyday. But at the point where that becomes no longer true, when it's the far more effortful thing to wake up one more day, that will be the last straw.