Venting Went to a party, still numb

[BrothersGuilt]

I went to a party tonight, got yelled at. Then apologized to. I cant deal with people. My best friend wont stop telling me about how she's unhappy. Okay? We're all miserable. Everyone. Why does everyone take things so deeply?

Im numb to everyone and everything. Things are different now. Enjoying anything is temporary while misery is lingering.

Anyways, into a more organized format-- i cant stand anyone anymore. Everyone has this weird persona that they play instead being authentic. I have just been partying a lot, and I have noticed a vast variety of people... but theyre all the same. In reality you think these people are different, but theyre all just fucking fakes.
(9/19/26)

 

[webb&flow]

What if the vast variety of people are pressured into acting similar, due to environment-specific social norms? I imagine these could be stronger in environments such as parties as well, where a small set of particular activities and vibes are blasted loud.

The modern party is a bit of a cultural ritual, and it would make sense if it has some behavior-formative effect on its participants, especially on that very moment.

I think it is more likely that the variety of people can be concealed or suppressed in some contexts, than the idea that variety is inherently artificial.

And yes, I think there are certain characteristics that just… that just don't vibe well; that don't invite a feeling of safety or curiosity. I try to be interested though maybe not in what someone thinks if I find it unriveting, but maybe even how they think and what it can maybe teach about patterns of people in general.

I would love to hear your description of this inauthentic persona you have in mind ♥, I think the description of it would be of great benefit to both of us, as well as anyone reading too . Tell me of this persona, the specific characteristics in it, the ways they are expressed, and the ways they make you feel. I think all of these factors help paint a picture of not just what goes on inside of you when you experience these mannerisms in people, but also give key clues to what may be going on in those people themselves, as well.

And I'm sorry you were yelled that. That's shitty.

I think parties can be rough at times. I think there are many kinds of leisurely social environments, and a party is merely just one of them. Do you know of any other social environments at the moment? If not I could mention some as well ♥.

People can be hard to deal with at times. I'm sorry that things were overloading that night .