Venting Weak. Pathetic.

[LonelyPrince]

Last post I was going on about how I wanted to go to the ER and ask for help after overdosing. I got out of the house today in order to do so but..didn't pull through.
Took the bus after sleeping till 2 pm and thoughout the trip I kept feeling nauseous and out of it. I was dissociating the entire time I walked through the streets of my city, figuring out a way to go through with my plan.
My legs felt wobbly, I felt dizzy, sounds were too loud and I just felt like I wasn't truly there in the moment. This happens often whenever I go outside of my house.
Went to the minimarket to buy alcohol, dipped and decided I couldn't actually go through with the OD. Sat down by the stairs of a church, typed the emergency number and just stared at my phone and bursted out crying. I couldn't do it. I couldn't bring myself to call and ask for help. I was and am still scared of the consequences of that, what will be of me if I ever decide to do that. I sat up and just bought paracetamol in the pharmacy next to me and went home. I now have a box of paracetamol plus some other pills, like venlafaxina, in my possession. Unfortunately this is all I have since the medicine cabinet has been locked by my parents due to my past poor attempts at overdosing. it won't be enough to die or anything, but it still comforts me that I have a way to harm myself after failing.
That's it. I don't know what else to say. I don't know if I'll actually ever be able to ask for help since I'm too afraid of what my father will do to me.
I don't want to be beat again.

 

[rs929]

Paracetamol overdose is one of the worse ways of attempting, as it might lead to liver failure and an agonic death. Don't do that.
I haven't read previous posts of yours. Is there anyone in your life you can trust? It looks you actually want help but have no one.

 

[LonelyPrince]

Paracetamol overdose is one of the worse ways of attempting, as it might lead to liver failure and an agonic death. Don't do that.
I haven't read previous posts of yours. Is there anyone in your life you can trust? It looks you actually want help but have no one.

I don't have any family members i can trust. i have two friends but one is on the other side of the country and the other is already dealing with shit on her own and don't wanna worry her.
And yeah I know about the excruciating effects of paracetamol overdose but I don't have much else.

 

[Roseate]

Have you thrown up since you took the pills? If you can't go to the hospital or get there, try to force yourself to throw up? If you can throw up majority of the meds, you might be fine. And don't forget to hydrate or try to.

 

[cakedog]

I'm too afraid of what my father will do to me.
I don't want to be beat again.

imagine having a kid who is obviously in a terrible situation and doing this to him because he's trying to get out of it? what a retard honestly

thoughout the trip I kept feeling nauseous and out of it. I was dissociating the entire time I walked through the streets of my city, figuring out a way to go through with my plan.
My legs felt wobbly, I felt dizzy, sounds were too loud and I just felt like I wasn't truly there in the moment. This happens often whenever I go outside of my house

Man this happens to me as well it's almost exactly like you described it i just feel very uncomfortable and nauseous when i'm not in my home heck it even happens when inside my own home. my room is my only escape

but from the rest of your post you sound like someone who actually wants to get better but you're chained and jailed to living with those parents and who knows what other impediments
I know my words aren't going to solve your situation but sadly it's the best i can offer. i hope things get better for you, you're not alone.