rationaltake
I'm rocking it - in another universe
- Sep 28, 2021
- 2,703
If parents are so inadequate that they can't ensure their children have a good enough upbringing then that has an enormous effect on those children into adulthood and throughout life.
The way people behave in life depends on their early experiences. Children who are abused don't learn all the basic things they need to successfully survive and flourish in the world. Things that children who were adequately cared for take for granted.
Children in neglectful and abusive families have a faulty and inaccurate blueprint of how to behave. All sorts of things can be problematic for them because they have only been exposed to abuse.
These children have no idea how kind and decent people conduct themselves and often they don't know how to react when people outside the family show them kindness. Why should they? They may even distrust affection and support as they have been betrayed so often.
Not knowing how to socialise and interact with people affects their whole life - their schooling - their employment - their relationships - their self-esteem. It goes on and on.
Some people can break out of this but it really isn't easy. They manage to discard a lot of what they learnt when young and change their expectations and responses. I would say that it is still hard work.
@Archamais I completely understand where you're coming from. When your family is so bad that you cut contact with them you end up without the mutual support and backup that people with reasonable families can rely on.
It's doubly unfair because the world in general just assumes you have a family to help you out. When I was in hospital a nurse got really nasty with me because I said I didn't have a next of kin - she just wouldn't believe me.
And of course it makes you sad when most or all of your memories of your family are hurtful.
I was seriously traumatised by the "family" I was born into. No child should be abused or neglected and you didn't deserve any of it.
You have a lot of understanding and insight and what your family did was totally unfair.
The way people behave in life depends on their early experiences. Children who are abused don't learn all the basic things they need to successfully survive and flourish in the world. Things that children who were adequately cared for take for granted.
Children in neglectful and abusive families have a faulty and inaccurate blueprint of how to behave. All sorts of things can be problematic for them because they have only been exposed to abuse.
These children have no idea how kind and decent people conduct themselves and often they don't know how to react when people outside the family show them kindness. Why should they? They may even distrust affection and support as they have been betrayed so often.
Not knowing how to socialise and interact with people affects their whole life - their schooling - their employment - their relationships - their self-esteem. It goes on and on.
Some people can break out of this but it really isn't easy. They manage to discard a lot of what they learnt when young and change their expectations and responses. I would say that it is still hard work.
@Archamais I completely understand where you're coming from. When your family is so bad that you cut contact with them you end up without the mutual support and backup that people with reasonable families can rely on.
It's doubly unfair because the world in general just assumes you have a family to help you out. When I was in hospital a nurse got really nasty with me because I said I didn't have a next of kin - she just wouldn't believe me.
And of course it makes you sad when most or all of your memories of your family are hurtful.
I was seriously traumatised by the "family" I was born into. No child should be abused or neglected and you didn't deserve any of it.
You have a lot of understanding and insight and what your family did was totally unfair.
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