Venting Anyone growing up without their own proper bedroom?

[valar_morghulis21]

That would be me. In my country (not US) at that time my parents were not poor, quite comfortable and secured financially. But they didn't think my privacy and emotional needs were important when purchasing a nice house. Me, my younger sister, and our housemate shared a room for 10 years.

When I was an only child, I shared a mattress on the floor with my dad. I confronted my mom about why she didn't gave me and my sister separate bedrooms growing up, and she just shrugged and told me they did their best. That's so bullshit lmao when so many things could have done differently if they just pause and think about their two growing children would hit puberty one day. I reject all kind of decorations even with my own apartment now. Looking back this mindset probably comes from never having my own space, and never feels belong, that make me this way and not just being minimalistic.

It was very rough, and basically all of my mental illness and suicidals came from those 10 years of abuse and neglect. When I was 15, we moved to a new house and this time, my parents gave me my own room. The house is big enough for one more guest room, but my parents again, very little accounted for privacy, decide has only 3 bedrooms.

I now moved out and live in a different country, but my room back home always has a special place in my heart. But recently, my grandma who is very old, just moved in with my parents cause she can't take care of herself anymore. My parents gave up their room, and took mine. It was purely logical but I couldn't help feeling grief and resent them for taking my inner child's last place of belongings. I don't hate my dad, but he's kinda gross so imagine him sleeping on my bed is really uncomfortable. In the summer when I go back, I gotta share room with my sister again.

I know at this stage complaining about a room that I don't even live there anymore sounds so whiny, but that place was the only place on earth I could call home. School was like hell. My childhood is just a big cycle of regret and resentment, of me never being good enough to be considered. My parents could afford to do so many things to not make my life suffering, if only they cared for a second.

I just bought a Nintendo for the first time in my life and felt so guilty for spending money. But then I just realize my inner child didn't even have a goddamn bedroom, nor a pair of good shoes growing up. Everything I got was just the bare minimum. So I should just do whatever makes me tolerate this life for one more day till my final ctb.

How about you, how's your childhood?

 

[wehamuho]

we were poor and were 4 brothers crammed in a small room if counts. plus i didnt have much mobility so i needed always some1 to take care of my needs. and i find your flair highly offensive.

 

[Forveleth]

I had my own space as a child in that there was four walls and a door. But I was never allowed to decorate it the way I wanted. I had to pick curtains from designs my parents wanted and decorations they picked out for me. I was never allowed to put anything on the walls so that I "would not ruin them for when we moved". Fun fact, my parents still live in that house and they have since painted my room. This control extended to every part of my childhood from how I wore my hair to the clothes that I wore.

It left me feeling like a guest in my childhood home. It pushed back my ability for healthy self expression and even finding myself far beyond when they should have happened. It took me until my 40s and my 5th apartment to be comfortable hanging pictures on the wall.

So maybe not the exact same thing, but I can definitely relate to how you feel, and I'm very sorry that this happened to you.