We are only on Sanctioned Suicide because our parents reproduced

[Meaninglessness]

All animals are programmed to reproduce, which is the reason humans have children. But most people seem to have children without thinking about the consequences. Heredity creates man - you have inherited half of your genes from each of your parents, which you can´t do anything about. You are completely innocent of your existence.

Every time someone has a child, there will be a person who has to have somewhere to live, energy and money. Every time someone has a child, there will be a person who has to die of something. For most people life is about short-lived pleasures and years of pain. Suicide is a common cause of death - people have no other choice to avoid meaningless suffering.

The society´s rules are harsh: education, work and economy. But not everyone can complete a university degree, work until retirement age and handle the economy throughout life. Life is not fair - some people are lucky and others are unlucky. You can´t influence all situations and circumstances. You will be involved in many problems and accidents if you live long enough.

Rich people have always had the best life and death. Everything costs money. People with a lot of money get away with almost anything. "Money money money must be funny in a rich man´s world" sings ABBA. Futhermore, the politicians who live on tax money can be the worst liars for high wages. But the state has too much power over the country´s inhabitants - the politicians shouldn´t have the right to decide over human euthanasia. It is my death and my choice.

The Earth´s population is now 8 billion and continues to increase, so in 30 years there probably will be 11 billion people on this planet. Humanity is the only species who through pollution and overpopulation destroys the Earth. It also seems that World War III has started. This is not a good world to have children in. The best thing that I have done in my life is not to have children. Then at least someone will not have to choose between suicide and years of meaningless suffering. Then at least someone will not end up on Sanctioned Suicide. We are only here because our parents reproduced.

 

[Pentobarbital_Plz]

Yeah it's wild…some physical organisms fucked once and here we are! Battling through every empty hour…slaves to our organs…prisoners to our society…

STOP HAVING KIDS!!!!!!

 

[FuneralCry]

I find it to be something so disgusting and unnecessary how humans continue to selfishly bring life here, continuing this cycle of endless torment and suffering that never needed to exist at all, yet sadly it does. It's a tragedy choosing to procreate, of course never existing at all is the most ideal and wonderful thing, it's perfection to me never having the ability to be aware of this hellish world. Nothing could ever justify bringing life here or make it sound like a reasonable and acceptable thing to do.

Life is just an useless consequence of evolution, and the fact that life evolved to a point where so much torture exists in this world is reason enough not to procreate. But it's cruel to burden existing beings with something as awful and tedious as life where they will be faced with endless problems, it's so horrible feeling trapped here and it's made even worse by the fact that we have to struggle so much in finding ways to die. Existing really is a punishment and we all have to pay the price all because of the decisions of others to selfishly procreate.

 

[Rainy_days]

A lot else happened between my parents reproducing and me ending up here. If you are only here because your parents reproduced, then you've led a most peculiar life.

 

[SamTam33]

Not a day goes by where I don't think about this. Endless struggling that didn't have to be. Now we're stuck trying to find a way out.

It reminds me of the Wayward Pines TV show from M. Knight Shyamalan. Season 1 was criminally underrated (it's totally worth a watch if you can still find it streaming somewhere).

 

[Rob1984]

"We are only here because our parents reproduced"

Idk about you, but there's been a lot of shit that has gone down in my life that is not directly related to my parents. My life hasn't been rainbows and unicorns outside my home life. So I'm definitely not here just because of my parents.

If what you are trying to say is that we only exist because our parents procreated, well, then you are drawing an arbitrary line in the sand. Why did you point to our parents, and not our grandparents? Or our great-grandparents? Ad nauseam. Sure, our parents are the closest in our bloodline, but they are far from the genesis?

Yes, we are completely innocent of our existence, but literally so is everyone on the planet. There is not a single person that had the power to choose to be born or not. So pointing to how we are innocent pertaining to existence is not saying much because literally everyone that has ever existed is in the same boat...

 

[SamTam33]

Yes, we are completely innocent of our existence, but literally so is everyone on the planet. There is not a single person that had the power to choose to be born or not. So pointing to how we are innocent pertaining to existence is not saying much because literally everyone that has ever existed is in the same boat...

My dad likes to highlight this as well, but I've yet to figure out why.

Are we supposed to feel better because everyone else is in the same boat? I don't get it.

I'm genuinely asking because he sure as hell can't explain his reasoning behind saying it. He just throws out anything, hoping something will stick.

Everyone pays taxes too. But I still hate it.

 

[Archamais]

This, exactly this. I was an accident, my father pissed off the moment he found out my mother was pregnant and my mother had me for all the wrong reasons. The family condemned me for being born out of wedlock (catholic family) I never asked for any of this. And it's so damaging knowing you're entire life that you were a mistake and unwanted by everyone. It f's you up so bad and sets you up for failure and constantly feeling like you're not enough and loving the wrong people because you're so desperate for love.

Humans are a disgusting species.

 

[Rob1984]

My dad likes to highlight this as well, but I've yet to figure out why.

Are we supposed to feel better because everyone else is in the same boat? I don't get it.

I'm genuinely asking because he sure as hell can't explain his reasoning behind saying it. He just throws out anything, hoping something will stick.

Everyone pays taxes too. But I still hate it.

You raise a good question. Going around saying stuff doesn't have much meaning when you can't back up or explain why you said something, so it's very fair to ask your dad (or me) "so what the hell is your point."

It has nothing to do with feeling better. I'm not saying it with the attitude of "suck it up, none of us asked to be born." That would be pretty invalidating of somebody's pain/suffering/feelings/etc. It's more like when someone says "I didn't ask to be born" that is implying that somebody on the planet DID ask to be born. But in reality, nobody had a say in it, so it just cancels itself out. It's not saying anything of significance pertaining to one's individual situation.

I understand where you are coming from with your taxes analogy, but it is not the same. The reason it is different is because you actually have a choice to pay taxes or not. Of course, you will likely get in trouble if you don't pay them, but you have the freedom to not pay them if that is what you choose. Regarding your existence, you never had a freedom to choose to exist. Not a single person on the planet did. Yes, you obviously can choose to stop existing, but that is not the same as choosing to exist in the first place. Hope that made a modicum of sense...

 

[Sakura94]

I not fault them with that we are sort of copies of them anyway. I only wish they had not had me so ridiculously late, too many medical issues

 

[Rob1984]

This, exactly this. I was an accident, my father pissed off the moment he found out my mother was pregnant and my mother had me for all the wrong reasons. The family condemned me for being born out of wedlock (catholic family) I never asked for any of this. And it's so damaging knowing you're entire life that you were a mistake and unwanted by everyone. It f's you up so bad and sets you up for failure and constantly feeling like you're not enough and loving the wrong people because you're so desperate for love.

Humans are a disgusting species.

I'm so sorry your parents expressed this to you. There is not a single good reason for a parent to tell a kid they were a mistake or unwanted (at any point in their life). If a parent chooses to have a child, the only healthy response is celebration. But as a parent you definitely don't express to your kid that they were a mistake, and that things would've been better off without them. It makes me angry hearing that parents actually have the audacity and stupidity to say such horrible things. That is a really, really toxic idea to plant into somebodies mind. Smh. I know it doesn't mean much when I say this, but I really am sorry that is your situation.

 

[Anzhe]

This, exactly this. I was an accident, my father pissed off the moment he found out my mother was pregnant and my mother had me for all the wrong reasons. The family condemned me for being born out of wedlock (catholic family) I never asked for any of this. And it's so damaging knowing you're entire life that you were a mistake and unwanted by everyone. It f's you up so bad and sets you up for failure and constantly feeling like you're not enough and loving the wrong people because you're so desperate for love.

Humans are a disgusting species.

I don't want to offend you by insulting your relatives, but why do you attach so much importance to the fact that a bunch of religious mrns blame you for your mother being a stupid wh#re? Why are you suffering because those assholes don't love you? You should value such stupid people in your life no more than you value a piece of shit - just press the toilet button and never mention about their opinion. Think about what a fckng nonsense you suffer! There so many people who have real reasons for wanting to die. And you're wasting your life worrying about the opinions of some mrns. I wish you to understand how funny this is and just laugh at this. I wish you happyness

 

[Rob1984]

I don't want to offend you by insulting your relatives, but why do you attach so much importance to the fact that a bunch of religious mrns blame you for your mother being a stupid wh#re? Why are you suffering because those assholes don't love you? You should value such stupid people in your life no more than you value a piece of shit - just press the toilet button and never mention about their opinion. Think about what a fckng nonsense you suffer! There so many people who have real reasons for wanting to die. And you're wasting your life worrying about the opinions of some mrns. I wish you to understand how funny this is and just laugh at this. I wish you happyness

Most of our development occurs as children. How can you possibly ask someone "why are you suffering because those assholes [parents] don't love you?" Like what??? We spend so much of our development seeking out acceptance and love from our family. It makes perfect sense for someone to feel like shit if they grew up feeling unwanted by their parents. It takes a lot of effort and suffering to firmly break away from seeking acceptance from our parents. Tons of people go through their entire life seeking acceptance by their parents. It is wired in us to seek that acceptance. It is not nearly as simple as you put it.

Then you say "there so many people who have real reasons for wanting to die." Dude, are you actually trying to make the person feel worse? wtf..???

 

[Anzhe]

This, exactly this. I was an accident, my father pissed off the moment he found out my mother was pregnant and my mother had me for all the wrong reasons. The family condemned me for being born out of wedlock (catholic family) I never asked for any of this. And it's so damaging knowing you're entire life that you were a mistake and unwanted by everyone. It f's you up so bad and sets you up for failure and constantly feeling like you're not enough and loving the wrong people because you're so desperate for love.

Humans are a disgusting species.

My relatives didn't like me either, I don't know why, maybe I'm someone else's child and I was adopted. But I don't give a damn about it - I never suffered from it - I just hated them and didn't consider their opinion important. At the age of 15, I left home and became involved in prostitution simply because I realized that if I lived one more day in this house, I would be imprisoned for a particularly brutal murder. I realized that I can not see these bastards more than one minute. Why do you need the love of some idiots? I hope you will not be offended that I am so rude, it is not my goal to offend you - I simply suggest that you think about why you attach so much importance to stupid and evil people in your life.

Most of our development occurs as children. How can you possibly ask someone "why are you suffering because those assholes [parents] don't love you?" Like what??? We spend so much of our development seeking out acceptance and love from our family. It makes perfect sense for someone to feel like shit if they grew up feeling unwanted by their parents. It takes a lot of effort and suffering to firmly break away from seeking acceptance from our parents. Tons of people go through their entire life seeking acceptance by their parents. It is wired in us to seek that acceptance. It is not nearly as simple as you put it.

Then you say "there so many people who have real reasons for wanting to die." Dude, are you actually trying to make the person feel worse? wtf..???

No - I just sincerely do not understand the reasons for such suffering. I do not want to hurt her, I just want to provoke a person to think about this issue. I have a similar situation, but I have never sought approval and love from people who do not care about me. I hope that she will re-evaluate her attitude to her situation and it will become as easy for her as it is for me when I think about my childhood.

 

[peacetime]

If I continue living, I will get a vasectomy at age 30 (minimum age in my country). Even if I wasn't having sex actively.
The thought of procreating horrifies me. My parents were absolutely awful, so I have no good reference. And me myself, I'm mentally fucking ill.

 

[Anzhe]

Most of our development occurs as children. How can you possibly ask someone "why are you suffering because those assholes [parents] don't love you?" Like what??? We spend so much of our development seeking out acceptance and love from our family. It makes perfect sense for someone to feel like shit if they grew up feeling unwanted by their parents. It takes a lot of effort and suffering to firmly break away from seeking acceptance from our parents. Tons of people go through their entire life seeking acceptance by their parents. It is wired in us to seek that acceptance. It is not nearly as simple as you put it.

Then you say "there so many people who have real reasons for wanting to die." Dude, are you actually trying to make the person feel worse? wtf..???

Why agree with the fact that someone thinks you're shit? Why suffer for it? A lot of people hate me, but I just don't care what they think. This is their subjective opinion. Why do people attach so much importance to the fact that someone is genetically related to you? For me this is strange. I never felt love for my relatives and did not want them to love me. I could be born to anyone and the fact that I ended up with these people in the same house is just an accident and does not oblige me to love them, I was just unlucky. I take it easy.

If I continue living, I will get a vasectomy at age 30 (minimum age in my country). Even if I wasn't having sex actively.
The thought of procreating horrifies me. My parents were absolutely awful, so I have no good reference. And me myself, I'm mentally fucking ill.

What is your diagnosis? Well, for example, I saw a cruel joke about Michael Burry that he was strange and mentally ill, I'm sure that this joke was written by some pathetic stupid schmuck who is just jealous of his genius. Mental health is a relative concept... For example, I think that crippling my body while giving birth to children is terrible and I will never be able to do it. I am afraid of pain and the fact that I will be crippled during childbirth like my mother.
For me, this is just crazy - I will never dare to do this. But many people do it. Many people have children irresponsibly and then rely on luck, but sometimes this does not happen and their children have a miserable life. It's horrible. At least you think about the fact that you do not want - that your child to suffer - this is much more reasonable behavior than beavior of most mentally healthy people.

 

[peacetime]

.

My only diagnosis is severe depression, sometimes they added psychotic as well to it. I'm most likely autistic (hasn't been tested), I might be bipolar (unable to test as I have no social connections who could be 3rd party observers). I know I'm a shit show and I don't want kids to struggle like I have. Even if I was healthy, the world can be a terrible place to begin with.

 

[yyytry]

This, exactly this. I was an accident, my father pissed off the moment he found out my mother was pregnant and my mother had me for all the wrong reasons. The family condemned me for being born out of wedlock (catholic family) I never asked for any of this. And it's so damaging knowing you're entire life that you were a mistake and unwanted by everyone. It f's you up so bad and sets you up for failure and constantly feeling like you're not enough and loving the wrong people because you're so desperate for love.

Humans are a disgusting species.

Also an accident. And yeah, I hate myself because I'm never enough. My mom told me she wished she never had me.
Now they are both gone and I'm stuck here feeling like I belong no where except in the ground.

Having kids is so dumb right now. These are the last couple generations of freedom before humanity becomes digitized into tech surveillance. Honestly, bring on WWIII and the nukes. This planet can't take our shit anymore.

 

[SamTam33]

You raise a good question. Going around saying stuff doesn't have much meaning when you can't back up or explain why you said something, so it's very fair to ask your dad (or me) "so what the hell is your point."

It has nothing to do with feeling better. I'm not saying it with the attitude of "suck it up, none of us asked to be born." That would be pretty invalidating of somebody's pain/suffering/feelings/etc. It's more like when someone says "I didn't ask to be born" that is implying that somebody on the planet DID ask to be born. But in reality, nobody had a say in it, so it just cancels itself out. It's not saying anything of significance pertaining to one's individual situation.

I understand where you are coming from with your taxes analogy, but it is not the same. The reason it is different is because you actually have a choice to pay taxes or not. Of course, you will likely get in trouble if you don't pay them, but you have the freedom to not pay them if that is what you choose. Regarding your existence, you never had a freedom to choose to exist. Not a single person on the planet did. Yes, you obviously can choose to stop existing, but that is not the same as choosing to exist in the first place. Hope that made a modicum of sense...

Yes it makes sense. Being born is one of those things that while it physically applies to everyone, it doesn't mentally affect everyone the same.

I doubt most people even lament how they came to be (some believe that life is ordained by God).

But when people who rue the process bring it up, they get told that it happens to everyone.

If you have no problem with how you came to be - did anything really "happen" to you?

It's like everybody being given the same sized boots for a journey, but they all have different sized feet.

When someone complains that the shoes are too small, another person (whose shoes fit perfectly) chimes in says, "Yeah well everyone was given the same size."

Something about that response doesn't quite feel right. But you've given me something to think about.

 

[Anzhe]

My only diagnosis is severe depression, sometimes they added psychotic as well to it. I'm most likely autistic (hasn't been tested), I might be bipolar (unable to test as I have no social connections who could be 3rd party observers). I know I'm a shit show and I don't want kids to struggle like I have. Even if I was healthy, the world can be a terrible place to begin with.

What is the reason for your depression? If the reason for your depression is that some circumstances of your life are gloomy shit - then this is not a disease, but a natural reaction to what is happening - agree that, for example, laughing at the funeral of a loved one is an inadequate reaction. In the same way, not having depression in some life situations is rather not normal ... Being traumatized is normal. This is a normal reaction to stress. But if, of course, everything is fabulously good in your life, but you are still depressed - then this is true depression.

My only diagnosis is severe depression, sometimes they added psychotic as well to it. I'm most likely autistic (hasn't been tested), I might be bipolar (unable to test as I have no social connections who could be 3rd party observers). I know I'm a shit show and I don't want kids to struggle like I have. Even if I was healthy, the world can be a terrible place to begin with.

Mike Burry also seems to be autistic, but I don't think he suffers from this - he is so hypnotically almazing as an atomic bomb explosion, he is so cool that I don't even have the courage to dream of him (fck right now I will flood my neighbors from below with my hot saliva and not only))) I mean - I want to ask you - who inspired you that you should feel you defective, not normal just because you have no social connections? Maybe just in your environment there were no people worthy or interesting to you to be close enough with you? Why didn't you look at it under such parallax?

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Yes it makes sense. Being born is one of those things that while it physically applies to everyone, it doesn't mentally affect everyone the same.

I doubt most people even lament how they came to be (some believe that life is ordained by God).

But when people who rue the process bring it up, they get told that it happens to everyone.

If you have no problem with how you came to be - did anything really "happen" to you?

It's like everybody being given the same sized boots for a journey, but they all have different sized feet.

When someone complains that the shoes are too small, another person (whose shoes fit perfectly) chimes in says, "Yeah well everyone was given the same size."

Something about that response doesn't quite feel right. But you've given me something to think about.

Yes, the issue is that not everyone is affected mentally the same way. That is what the crucial difference is. Most people don't regret their birth so they don't question the concept. But that's just moral luck. The minority of people who were harmed by existence get held to the same standard as those who weren't.

 

[peacetime]

What is the reason for your depression? If the reason for your depression is that some circumstances of your life are gloomy shit - then this is not a disease, but a natural reaction to what is happening - agree that, for example, laughing at the funeral of a loved one is an inadequate reaction. In the same way, not having depression in some life situations is rather not normal ... Being traumatized is normal. This is a normal reaction to stress. But if, of course, everything is fabulously good in your life, but you are still depressed - then this is true depression.

Mike Burry also seems to be autistic, but I don't think he suffers from this - he is so hypnotically almazing as an atomic bomb explosion, he is so cool that I don't even have the courage to dream of him (fck right now I will flood my neighbors from below with my hot saliva and not only))) I mean - I want to ask you - who inspired you that you should feel you defective?

I've been depressed for years, including during times my life was good on paper. I'm clearly autistic and it shows in real life. I'm smart on paper exams, simply retarded when I'm actually doing basic things. Or social things. A personality disorder could also be the cause; doesn't really matter.

 

[Anzhe]

Yes, the issue is that not everyone is affected mentally the same way. That is what the crucial difference is. Most people don't regret their birth so they don't question the concept. But that's just moral luck. The minority of people who were harmed by existence get held to the same standard as those who weren't.

Yes, it is so difficult to understand what another person feels, especially for a person like me - empathy is not my superpower. Just I often say something without malicious intent, without the purpose of offending someone - I simply express my opinion. It may gets very rough. Although I actually not feel emotional sympathy for the person that I insulted or offended, but I usually did not have such an evil intention, it just happens during the discussion. It's hard for me to explain, English is not my native language sorry

I've been depressed for years, including during times my life was good on paper. I'm clearly autistic and it shows in real life. I'm smart on paper exams, simply retarded when I'm actually doing basic things. Or social things. A personality disorder could also be the cause; doesn't really matter.

You should just learn to relate to this not to worry so much about this - omg - there are so many people like you in fact! As example - i'm - I have the same problems, but I've come to terms with it.

 

[Anonymus]

In my case my parents are absolutely not responsible for anything. I am the creator of my own world and it does not fit well with the reality of my environment, this is what makes me suicidal.

On the other hand, I am deterministic and from this point of view it is absurd to blame others for what happens to me (in fact the concept of guilt does not exist, it is a concept purely linked to free will and encouraged by certain religions).

//

En el meu cas els meus pares no són absolutament responsables de res. Jo sóc el creador del meu propi món i aquest no encaixa bé amb la realitat de meu entorn, això és el que em fa ser suïcida.

D'altra banda sóc determinista i desde aquest punt de vista és absurd donar la culpa als altres del que em pasa (de fet el concepte de culpa no existeix, és un concepte purament lligat al lliure albir i fomentat per determinades religions).

 

[Pluto]

Sometimes people have very positive life experiences and revere their parents for making it possible.
Another person may have a negative experience in the world, then bitterly assign blame to those who gave birth to them.

The conclusion is either:
1) Parents have an overwhelming impact on the end product and thus deserve praise/blame, or
2) Parents help initiate a positive cycle of abundance/gratitude, or a negative cycle of dysfunction/blame, which amounts to the same thing as point 1.

There are many exceptions, such as people from awful backgrounds who wind up fulfilled and successful, or people who wind up in ruins despite every effort on the part of the parents. But for most people, escaping the deep damage that substandard parents can do can require something of a miracle, especially without proper guidance and resources.

 

[Rob1984]

Yes it makes sense. Being born is one of those things that while it physically applies to everyone, it doesn't mentally affect everyone the same.

I doubt most people even lament how they came to be (some believe that life is ordained by God).

But when people who rue the process bring it up, they get told that it happens to everyone.

If you have no problem with how you came to be - did anything really "happen" to you?

It's like everybody being given the same sized boots for a journey, but they all have different sized feet.

When someone complains that the shoes are too small, another person (whose shoes fit perfectly) chimes in says, "Yeah well everyone was given the same size."

Something about that response doesn't quite feel right. But you've given me something to think about.

I don't understand what you mean by being born doesn't mentally affect everyone the same? I'm assuming you aren't literally talking about birth, because obviously none of us can recall that. Do you mean how each of us feels about the fact that we were created and now exist? Our relationship to the concept of us existing is contingent on how our lives are going. People that enjoy life are grateful that they were born, so it makes sense they don't spend much time "lamenting how they came to be." But I actually think a lot of people think about their existence tbh. Maybe they don't dwell on it (because they are busy enjoying life), but even happy people still have deep conversations about the meaning of life. Believing that life is ordained by God is still contemplating your existence. But unfortunately I don't have an actual stat for how many people (and how much time) they spend thinking about their existence, and whether they wish they were born or not. But even being religious is a form of thinking about your existence and how you came to be.

"But when people who rue the process bring it up, they get told that it happens to everyone."

I hope I was not dismissing you (or anyone else's) suffering when I said that nobody has a choice to be born. I really don't mean it in the way of "just deal with it" or "suck it up" because those are definitely attitudes a lot of people will give to somebody that says "I didn't choose to be born." Regarding your boot analogy, I don't believe anyone has a perfect life. Obviously some people have much better lives than others (nobody will argue that), but I truly don't believe anyone has a perfect life. Life is too confusing, chaotic, ambiguous, unpredictable, etc. to have a perfect life. Not to mention, perfect is a subjective notion. But I understand what you are trying to say with your analogy nonetheless. You're going back to how somebody whose life isn't so bad will invalidate another person by going "I didn't choose to be born either, so deal with it" but that person has a much better life to begin with. At least that is what I think you're saying with your analogy...? It all depends on how somebody is delivering the response of "I didn't choose to be born either." It could be an insightful statement (food for thought), and it could also be passive aggressive/insensitive/etc.

 

[Kualk]

Feel like people are only having kids nowadays as a desperate way to keep a marriage together, as having a child would in turn threaten both parties to stay together or risk material payments to the other after the breakup.
Thought about it back when I still had people I could call acquaintances that most of us have divorced parents or families that don't really care about what we do, it was as if we had fulfilled our objective by just being alive and somewhat healthy, the glue to forcefully put back together a breaking relationship so to speak.
During the height of the pandemic there was a worldwide explosion of divorce cases in every country, like folks stay together merely because of material (e.g. worldwide rising cost of living) or physical (e.g. physical attraction; lust; etc.) reasons and once they where forced to stay together for several months they finally realized that they needed romantic feelings for each other in order to sustain a family.
That being said I feel like it is irresponsible to blame the parents for our existence, everyone deserves a shot to find the beauty in life and to create a reason to keep living (as the majority of people do), just wish it was easier to give it up since it was so incredibly easy for us to be born in the first place.

 

[SamTam33]

I don't understand what you mean by being born doesn't mentally affect everyone the same? I'm assuming you aren't literally talking about birth, because obviously none of us can recall that. Do you mean how each of us feels about the fact that we were created and now exist? Our relationship to the concept of us existing is contingent on how our lives are going. People that enjoy life are grateful that they were born, so it makes sense they don't spend much time "lamenting how they came to be." But I actually think a lot of people think about their existence tbh. Maybe they don't dwell on it (because they are busy enjoying life), but even happy people still have deep conversations about the meaning of life. Believing that life is ordained by God is still contemplating your existence. But unfortunately I don't have an actual stat for how many people (and how much time) they spend thinking about their existence, and whether they wish they were born or not. But even being religious is a form of thinking about your existence and how you came to be.

"But when people who rue the process bring it up, they get told that it happens to everyone."

I hope I was not dismissing you (or anyone else's) suffering when I said that nobody has a choice to be born. I really don't mean it in the way of "just deal with it" or "suck it up" because those are definitely attitudes a lot of people will give to somebody that says "I didn't choose to be born." Regarding your boot analogy, I don't believe anyone has a perfect life. Obviously some people have much better lives than others (nobody will argue that), but I truly don't believe anyone has a perfect life. Life is too confusing, chaotic, ambiguous, unpredictable, etc. to have a perfect life. Not to mention, perfect is a subjective notion. But I understand what you are trying to say with your analogy nonetheless. You're going back to how somebody whose life isn't so bad will invalidate another person by going "I didn't choose to be born either, so deal with it" but that person has a much better life to begin with. At least that is what I think you're saying with your analogy...? It all depends on how somebody is delivering the response of "I didn't choose to be born either." It could be an insightful statement (food for thought), and it could also be passive aggressive/insensitive/etc.

I'm saying even though we all got here the same way (by two people reproducing), we're not all going to think the same way about it.

So it seems disingenuous to suggest that there's a commonality between everyone in that regard. e.g., everybody is in the same boat.

Although you offered an explanation for it, I still see it as a false equivalency of sorts.

The experience of being born doesn't link us. How we FEEL about being born does.

 

[Archamais]

I don't want to offend you by insulting your relatives, but why do you attach so much importance to the fact that a bunch of religious mrns blame you for your mother being a stupid wh#re? Why are you suffering because those assholes don't love you? You should value such stupid people in your life no more than you value a piece of shit - just press the toilet button and never mention about their opinion. Think about what a fckng nonsense you suffer! There so many people who have real reasons for wanting to die. And you're wasting your life worrying about the opinions of some mrns. I wish you to understand how funny this is and just laugh at this. I wish you happyness

It

My relatives didn't like me either, I don't know why, maybe I'm someone else's child and I was adopted. But I don't give a damn about it - I never suffered from it - I just hated them and didn't consider their opinion important. At the age of 15, I left home and became involved in prostitution simply because I realized that if I lived one more day in this house, I would be imprisoned for a particularly brutal murder. I realized that I can not see these bastards more than one minute. Why do you need the love of some idiots? I hope you will not be offended that I am so rude, it is not my goal to offend you - I simply suggest that you think about why you attach so much importance to stupid and evil people in your life.

No - I just sincerely do not understand the reasons for such suffering. I do not want to hurt her, I just want to provoke a person to think about this issue. I have a similar situation, but I have never sought approval and love from people who do not care about me. I hope that she will re-evaluate her attitude to her situation and it will become as easy for her as it is for me when I think about my childhood.

It's great that it's so easy for you but that doesn't mean it's not incredibly hard and for other people. Family, especially parents are supposed to love and support their children. I've always known I was a mistake and unwanted, it was who i was, it was one of the most ingrained things throughout my entire upbringing. It was my identity and I didn't know how fucked up that was. How much it made me a social pariah

It wasn't until many years later that I realised how fucked it was and how much it had shaped me as a person. How I let myself stay in abusive relationships because I thought that's how love worked. I wasn't allowed to be sad in my household because if anyone had the right to be sad it was my mother because I'm the reason she was alone and miserable.

Because I was a sad, lonely kid who was bullied at school and then couldn't get support at home. Ofcourse it effects you, it makes you feel not enough and of course you care about the people in your life and how they treat you and feel about you.

I cut all my family out 5 years ago, complete no contact and I'm still sad and effected. I don't have anyone to call or fall back on (like during covid for example) and I'm constantly uncovering new memories or making realisations that "oh that event in my childhood, was not normal"

My mother didn't even have any idea I attempted CTB at 16 under her roof. I swallowed every pill I could find in the house and prayed I wouldn't wake up. I still remember my mother yelling at me through the bathroom door while I was violently throwing up the pills and she was yelling because she was annoyed I was sick again.

Even tho those people were assholes it still makes me sad i have no family to turn to and that I will most likely not have a funeral when I CTB because there will be no one to throw one or even know I'm gone.

That's so great for you if you're so okay but don't diminish someone else's experience. This is the first time I've ever even admitted to anyone about my upbringing and your response has made me feel stupid and once again like I'm not allowed to feel my feelings.

Most of our development occurs as children. How can you possibly ask someone "why are you suffering because those assholes [parents] don't love you?" Like what??? We spend so much of our development seeking out acceptance and love from our family. It makes perfect sense for someone to feel like shit if they grew up feeling unwanted by their parents. It takes a lot of effort and suffering to firmly break away from seeking acceptance from our parents. Tons of people go through their entire life seeking acceptance by their parents. It is wired in us to seek that acceptance. It is not nearly as simple as you put it.

Then you say "there so many people who have real reasons for wanting to die." Dude, are you actually trying to make the person feel worse? wtf..???

Thank you for the response, that means alot. There response has made me feel stupid and not allowed to have my feelings all over again. Good on them if they're not affected by their situation... but yeah... I just feel shitty now.

 

[Anzhe]

It

It's great that it's so easy for you but that doesn't mean it's not incredibly hard and for other people. Family, especially parents are supposed to love and support their children. I've always known I was a mistake and unwanted, it was who i was, it was one of the most ingrained things throughout my entire upbringing. It was my identity and I didn't know how fucked up that was. How much it made me a social pariah

It wasn't until many years later that I realised how fucked it was and how much it had shaped me as a person. How I let myself stay in abusive relationships because I thought that's how love worked. I wasn't allowed to be sad in my household because if anyone had the right to be sad it was my mother because I'm the reason she was alone and miserable.

Because I was a sad, lonely kid who was bullied at school and then couldn't get support at home. Ofcourse it effects you, it makes you feel not enough and of course you care about the people in your life and how they treat you and feel about you.

I cut all my family out 5 years ago, complete no contact and I'm still sad and effected. I don't have anyone to call or fall back on (like during covid for example) and I'm constantly uncovering new memories or making realisations that "oh that event in my childhood, was not normal"

My mother didn't even have any idea I attempted CTB at 16 under her roof. I swallowed every pill I could find in the house and prayed I wouldn't wake up. I still remember my mother yelling at me through the bathroom door while I was violently throwing up the pills and she was yelling because she was annoyed I was sick again.

Even tho those people were assholes it still makes me sad i have no family to turn to and that I will most likely not have a funeral when I CTB because there will be no one to throw one or even know I'm gone.

That's so great for you if you're so okay but don't diminish someone else's experience. This is the first time I've ever even admitted to anyone about my upbringing and your response has made me feel stupid and once again like I'm not allowed to feel my feelings.

Thank you for the response, that means alot. There response has made me feel stupid and not allowed to have my feelings all over again. Good on them if they're not affected by their situation... but yeah... I just feel shitty now.

I think you just enjoy whining about it and getting attention from people who give you sympathy. It's good at least that you found the strength to no longer communicate with all these stupid evil people in your family. You should find another way to get attention and socialize - I don't know - do something cool or kind, for example, if people's attention is important to you. Or start by trying to be less obsessed with this your grief.

Feel like people are only having kids nowadays as a desperate way to keep a marriage together, as having a child would in turn threaten both parties to stay together or risk material payments to the other after the breakup.
Thought about it back when I still had people I could call acquaintances that most of us have divorced parents or families that don't really care about what we do, it was as if we had fulfilled our objective by just being alive and somewhat healthy, the glue to forcefully put back together a breaking relationship so to speak.
During the height of the pandemic there was a worldwide explosion of divorce cases in every country, like folks stay together merely because of material (e.g. worldwide rising cost of living) or physical (e.g. physical attraction; lust; etc.) reasons and once they where forced to stay together for several months they finally realized that they needed romantic feelings for each other in order to sustain a family.
That being said I feel like it is irresponsible to blame the parents for our existence, everyone deserves a shot to find the beauty in life and to create a reason to keep living (as the majority of people do), just wish it was easier to give it up since it was so incredibly easy for us to be born in the first place.

There is an even more disgusting option - some people want someone to take care of them in their old age when they are sick and weak - they give birth to children in order to then sit on their necks and financially exploit them.