Venting Wanting to Go, but Not Being Able

[Largeletters]

I have a beautiful girl in my life. It's the first girl that's ever really liked me back, who gets me, who has almost everything in common with me. I wouldn't say we are dating, but the feelings are mutual. I should want to live, at the very least, because of her, but my feelings have not changed much in the months I have known her.
I would kill myself. But I know I can't leave her. I have others in my life I love too, but I know that if I departed, she would take her own life as she is already struggling with passive suicidal thoughts, depression and anxiety.
I love her so much, and can't leave her, but at the same time I know I have to.

 

[Deathbydemo]

I'm having the same problem, only it's my son. I don't know why he isn't enough to make me stay. I love him so very much, he is the love and light of my life but... I just can't stay. I can relate to you so much. It's hard knowing the people you are leaving behind. The way I see it is... yes death hurts. But everyone's life goes on. The world keeps spinning. Time heals all wounds death may leave.

 

[Largeletters]

I'm having the same problem, only it's my son. I don't know why he isn't enough to make me stay. I love him so very much, he is the love and light of my life but... I just can't stay. I can relate to you so much. It's hard knowing the people you are leaving behind. The way I see it is... yes death hurts. But everyone's life goes on. The world keeps spinning. Time heals all wounds death may leave.

I am glad to know someone else understands, but at the same time, not; no one else deserves to feel this way, especially while having someone special. You are right, time does go on, I know directly based on several family deaths. No one took their life after a family member's death, life simply goes on, time passes, as hard as it is to accept.

If you ever want to PM (though I'm new to this site, and not exactly sure about how it works and whether I can PM yet) just to vent or talk without getting the "it gets better," repetitive shit, I'm here.

 

[Melkus2020]

Oh man that sucks. I have nobody because I was always introverted. So I guess suicide is the natural outcome for me. My advice for you is to not do it. Because it isn't just your life anymore. You committed yourself to this girl. And you own her heart not to sound cheesy. Maybe try to break up? Don't take any offense I'm not trying to sound like a dick.

 

[Largeletters]

Oh man that sucks. I have nobody because I was always introverted. So I guess suicide is the natural outcome for me. My advice for you is to not do it. Because it isn't just your life anymore. You committed yourself to this girl. And you own her heart not to sound cheesy. Maybe try to break up? Don't take any offense I'm not trying to sound like a dick.

No offense taken, thank you for your words

 

[Melkus2020]

No offense taken, thank you for your words

You shouldn't have stay on this planet and be in constant anguish to make other people happy. If she truly loves you then she will let you go in peace.

 

[Deathbydemo]

I am glad to know someone else understands, but at the same time, not; no one else deserves to feel this way, especially while having someone special. You are right, time does go on, I know directly based on several family deaths. No one took their life after a family member's death, life simply goes on, time passes, as hard as it is to accept.

If you ever want to PM (though I'm new to this site, and not exactly sure about how it works and whether I can PM yet) just to vent or talk without getting the "it gets better," repetitive shit, I'm here.

Thank you so much. I might just take you up on that offer some time. I'm so sorry you're going through this too. If anything, at least this place teaches us that we are not alone with our thoughts.

 

[Largeletters]

You shouldn't have stay on this planet and be in constant anguish to make other people happy. If she truly loves you then she will let you go in peace.

Thank you... that's very reassuring. I appreciate it a lot.

Thank you so much. I might just take you up on that offer some time. I'm so sorry you're going through this too. If anything, at least this place teaches us that we are not alone with our thoughts.

You are welcome, and thank you for your apology, it's alright. You're right, though. Shocking to see how many active people are on this website.

 

[drake4871]

You quite literally have nothing to lose if you want to try a relationship or something. If you fail you'll be able to CTB alot easier anyways

 

[Largeletters]

The relationship isn't the issue, everything else is.

 

[AlreadyGone]

I personally would not continue to suffer to keep someone else happy. But that is just me.

 

[Largeletters]

I personally would not continue to suffer to keep someone else happy. But that is just me.

I agree. I'm more so worried what she would do if I made my decision.

 

[Pan]

I have a beautiful home in Belize that needs work; it is on the western side of ambergris caye (an island off the belizean coastline). Is there anyone here who would be willing to journey with me to Belize? It's a fresh start for some of you. I need a caretaker, as in sto live in first floor apartment to do odd jobs. Knowledge of a boat would be helpful. Any takers?

 

[one4all]

Maybe you have a reason to stick around then.

 

[Pan]

Again, anyone interested n helping me out with Belize?

 

[Largeletters]

Maybe you have a reason to stick around then.

Maybe. Thank you.

I have a beautiful home in Belize that needs work; it is on the western side of ambergris caye (an island off the belizean coastline). Is there anyone here who would be willing to journey with me to Belize? It's a fresh start for some of you. I need a caretaker, as in sto live in first floor apartment to do odd jobs. Knowledge of a boat would be helpful. Any takers?

I am in the USA, and I am unable to leave so suddenly, I'm sorry. I suggest you make a thread of your own about this, or find a thread that will provide better results.

 

[one4all]

Maybe. Thank you.

No thanks needed. We are here for each other. What ever you do though. Make sure it is the right decision.

 

[Largeletters]

No thanks needed. We are here for each other. What ever you do though. Make sure it is the right decision.

You're right. I appreciate that a lot. I'm giving everything, like potential decisions, a lot of thought these days.

 

[one4all]

You're right. I appreciate that a lot. I'm giving everything, like potential decisions, a lot of thought these days.

I'm glad to hear that. Sometimes those little baby steps can get you through the day. I really have no way of knowing what you go through as i'm not in your place.

 

[Largeletters]

I'm glad to hear that. Sometimes those little baby steps can get you through the day. I really have no way of knowing what you go through as i'm not in your place.

True. I don't have much decisions to make, really, just the small things or whether to CTB. Still, everything kind of matters at this point.

 

[one4all]

Still, everything kind of matters at this point.

You nailed it right there. Hold on to that thought

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Does she know about your wish to leave?