I was so naive. I thought getting away from my family home would save me. I thought life was finally looking up. I thought I could make something of this dreaded existence, but I'm right back where I was before.
I'm unseen. I'm unheard. I'm a humiliated, nervous child who just wants to get away. Fuck's sake. Life is punishing me. I wasn't supposed to live this long. I'm being haunted.
I just wanted to be happy. I just wanted to be loved and cared for. I'm so stupid, and now, I can't even leave. I have a child who didn't ask to be here. I have to live for her, and I know I can't protect her. I know I'm not good enough. I know I shouldn't be here.
I hate myself, and I'll always be me. I can't tear off my skin and start a new. The past will always catch up. My past is my future, and I don't want to go through this again.
I never meant to be so terrible. I never meant to screw everything up.
I'm unseen. I'm unheard. I'm a humiliated, nervous child who just wants to get away. Fuck's sake. Life is punishing me. I wasn't supposed to live this long. I'm being haunted.
I just wanted to be happy. I just wanted to be loved and cared for. I'm so stupid, and now, I can't even leave. I have a child who didn't ask to be here. I have to live for her, and I know I can't protect her. I know I'm not good enough. I know I shouldn't be here.
I hate myself, and I'll always be me. I can't tear off my skin and start a new. The past will always catch up. My past is my future, and I don't want to go through this again.
I never meant to be so terrible. I never meant to screw everything up.
