Venting Wanting to ctb because of shame

[Trakehner]

I was kicked out of school about 2 years ago and for the past few months, the shame I feel has become unbearable. I'll never be viewed the same and this will follow me until the day I die. I've taken online courses and am not even sure if I can be accepted anywhere. I've missed out on so many experiences and have no friends. I can't talk to anyone about it because they won't understand and will only judge and shame me further. Fuck my life.

 

[Sleeper System]

Common problem. Set backs in life like this come with the territory.
You can get out but you'll have to fight your way back up.

I know people personally who've had their lives set back far worse than being kicked out of school.
IE: Jail, having an unplanned child, being physically or mentally traumatized etc.
Everyones problems impact them on different levels so im not judging. I just know you have chance how ever small to recover from this. If you really want to.

CTB would be easier but it wouldn't be as gratifying lol

 

[Trakehner]

bump

 

[Blank_Slate]

You will be surprised how small something like this will look over time. Life has a tendency to take you farther away from the connections and things that seemed important when you were in high school regardless.

Source - I'm 32 and I spend pretty much no time these days thinking about things that happened when I was 18. And I never could have imagined who I would become or what I'd be doing at this point in my life. Things got so much better.

 

[thelookingontheway]

The empathy is really a rare feature in human, especially those never be in unfortunate. I admire your efforts of taking online courses, this won't go nowhere. Try avoiding the toxic people that are shaming you too. CTB still not a bad choice tho.

 

[CocoToxBase]

I'm really sorry to hear you're going through such a tough time. It sounds like you're carrying a heavy weight, and feeling stuck in this situation can be incredibly isolating. But remember, your current circumstances don't define your future or your worth. Life is full of second chances and opportunities to rewrite our stories.

Taking online courses is a fantastic step forward. It shows resilience and a commitment to your personal growth, qualities that are invaluable and will serve you well, no matter where you go from here. As for acceptance, there are many paths and institutions that value determination and the courage to overcome challenges just as much as traditional achievements.

It's understandable to worry about judgment from others, but you'd be surprised how many people are willing to offer support and understanding rather than condemnation. We all have our struggles and setbacks; it's part of being human. Opening up to someone you trust, perhaps a counselor or a support group, could be a good step towards healing and finding your way again.

You haven't missed out on the chance to make friends and create meaningful experiences. Those opportunities are still out there, waiting for you, perhaps in places you haven't looked yet. Life is long and unpredictable, and this chapter doesn't have to define the rest of your story. You have the power to turn "Fuck my life" into "Watch me rise." You've got this.

 

[stillmirenai]

I was kicked out of school about 2 years ago and for the past few months, the shame I feel has become unbearable. I'll never be viewed the same and this will follow me until the day I die. I've taken online courses and am not even sure if I can be accepted anywhere. I've missed out on so many experiences and have no friends. I can't talk to anyone about it because they won't understand and will only judge and shame me further. Fuck my life.

Why? What happened?

Online courses? How do those work when you're not enrolled in any school?

 

[whywere]

When I was 18, in 1974, I was kicked out by my "parents", and having grown up on a working dairy farm, I was never given an allowance, so I had zero money, and I was homeless and hungry, and by the grace of GOD and family took me in and fed and housed me while I got going. Went to college at the age of 24, after having saved money up, went to college and got a 4-year degree, I like so many others have had a bumpy start. But I pulled through and with every fiber in my being I feel that you can to.

You are an intelligent and kind soul; your thread speaks that in volumes, and I have worked with folks who got their GED online, for some it was easy and so had more of a go with it, but it happened and hope that you give something like that a try.

You are way too valuable NOT to be here, with no family nor friends, having folks like YOU, make this existence worthwhile to/for me.

Lots of love and the knowledge that you ARE a winner, it will just take some time.

Walter

 

[Csmith8827]

I was kicked out of school about 2 years ago and for the past few months, the shame I feel has become unbearable. I'll never be viewed the same and this will follow me until the day I die. I've taken online courses and am not even sure if I can be accepted anywhere. I've missed out on so many experiences and have no friends. I can't talk to anyone about it because they won't understand and will only judge and shame me further. Fuck my life.

Are you Asian/Oriental by chance? This sounds more like a cultural thing and I know that education and pride/shame etc. run deep in that culture...

 

[tbroken]

Common problem. Set backs in life like this come with the territory.
You can get out but you'll have to fight your way back up.

I know people personally who've had their lives set back far worse than being kicked out of school.
IE: Jail, having an unplanned child, being physically or mentally traumatized etc.
Everyones problems impact them on different levels so im not judging. I just know you have chance how ever small to recover from this. If you really want to.

CTB would be easier but it wouldn't be as gratifying lol

Phisically and mentally traumatized here. It was really difficult to take control of my life, but i made it. Nobody could help me, they were ignorant, they were evil, they guessed really bad things about me. Better like this, I immediately understood i needed something WAY better in my life.
You cannot imagine how painful can be the flames of hell. But now I'm ok, i want to stop this moment. I have money, i have a PC, health, decent amount of money and SN, i don't want anybody here with me. I want to enjoy what i earnt, alone and glorious.