Want to go this afternoon

[Willto]

Woke up this morning with an urge to catch the bus. I know I'll be alone for 4 hours this afternoon. The time window is enough for SN. Fast 4 hours prior, I don't eat mutch anyways. Just lie in my bed and be gone. Maybe this is the day that I CTB.

 

[Maudlin]

Whichever decision you make, I hope you find the peace you seek.

There's no shame in not catching the bus. Another will always be along by and by. What's the rush?

 

[makethepainstop]

Woke up this morning with an urge to catch the bus. I know I'll be alone for 4 hours this afternoon. The time window is enough for SN. Fast 4 hours prior, I don't eat mutch anyways. Just lie in my bed and be gone. Maybe this is the day that I CTB.

As always no one can tell when its right, that freedom of choice, thankfully remains with soul seeking pain relief. Much love to you.

 

[Willto]

Whichever decision you make, I hope you find the peace you seek.

There's no shame in not catching the bus. Another will always be along by and by. What's the rush?

I have been thinking of this for a long time. Things have only gotten worse, there is no place for me in this world. I wake up every morning regret that I'm still here. The only thing that holds me back is the fear of falling.
Will use stat dose Stan. Fasting for 4 hours. Antiemedics, paracetamol and then SN.

 

[Maudlin]

I have been thinking of this for a long time. Things have only gotten worse, there is no place for me in this world. I wake up every morning regret that I'm still here. The only thing that holds me back is the fear of falling.
Will use stat dose Stan. Fasting for 4 hours. Antiemedics, paracetamol and then SN.

Well, be careful. I hope you find what you're looking for.

It might feel like there's no place for you in this world... and yet, here you are. It's an evil world, sure. Intolerably tedious and evil.

Yet, here you are.

 

[Willto]

I'm still here just waiting for an opportunity to let go. My SI is fading, and I'm glad it is. I'm an adult woman whom had everything I could wish for. Now only nothingness, pain and regrets.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm sorry life has brought you to this point. I wish you a peaceful journey and freedom from your suffering if you choose to go ahead.

 

[no_more_pain72]

I'm still here just waiting for an opportunity to let go. My SI is fading, and I'm glad it is. I'm an adult woman whom had everything I could wish for. Now only nothingness, pain and regrets.

Hi Wilto

I'm beginning this journey also and although I'm only in the researching phase, I'm certain I'll be catching that bus also one day unless some miracle saves me, but I highly doubt it. Do you mind me asking your reason for letting go and what's caused the nothingness, pain and regret in your life? If you choose to go today, then I wish you the best of luck of hope you experience peace and happiness along the way.

 

[Willto]

Hi Wilto

I'm beginning this journey also and although I'm only in the researching phase, I'm certain I'll be catching that bus also one day unless some miracle saves me, but I highly doubt it. Do you mind me asking your reason for letting go and what's caused the nothingness, pain and regret in your life? If you choose to go today, then I wish you the best of luck of hope you experience peace and happiness along the way.

I had a downfall over the last two years that culiumated this spring where I lost everything. And I took the whole family with me in the fall. My social status, my friends, my family, my whole life. This has left me alone, shameful, depressed with no options left. It can't be mended and it's impossible to start life over again.

Hi Wilto

I'm beginning this journey also and although I'm only in the researching phase, I'm certain I'll be catching that bus also one day unless some miracle saves me, but I highly doubt it. Do you mind me asking your reason for letting go and what's caused the nothingness, pain and regret in your life? If you choose to go today, then I wish you the best of luck of hope you experience peace and happiness along the way.

What makes you want to CTB?

 

[Hollowillow]

I had a downfall over the last two years that culiumated this spring where I lost everything. And I took the whole family with me in the fall. My social status, my friends, my family, my whole life. This has left me alone, shameful, depressed with no options left. It can't be mended and it's impossible to start life over again.

What makes you want to CTB?

Same for me. Sort of. Because I can't lose what I never had. I'm glad you lived before you die. I know how it feels to wake up wanting to scream from pain. And having people walk away because they take the scream as a personal attack when I beg crying. If you escape I envy you but I also feel sorry and sad... I wish we could die in our sleep

 

[Willto]

Same for me. Sort of. Because I can't lose what I never had. I'm glad you lived before you die. I know how it feels to wake up wanting to scream from pain. And having people walk away because they take the scream as a personal attack when I beg crying. If you escape I envy you but I also feel sorry and sad... I wish we could die in our sleep

Yes, but the happy memories just hurts to think of. What was and is not there anymore.

 

[no_more_pain72]

I had a downfall over the last two years that culiumated this spring where I lost everything. And I took the whole family with me in the fall. My social status, my friends, my family, my whole life. This has left me alone, shameful, depressed with no options left. It can't be mended and it's impossible to start life over again.

What makes you want to CTB?

I'm sorry to hear what you have been through it does sound tragic, but have you tried to turn your life around and start again? Apologies if this is not the right thing to be saying to you at this time right now, but when I look at my situation compared to others who have CTB I kind of feel that some situations can be resolved, and some cannot. I mean, if you can walk, talk, see, hear and pass as a human being still then there is nothing to stop you from trying right. Again, I'm sorry if this is not cool to be telling you this but I suppose I'm someone who ultimately feels someone should live unless they are going to die anyway, or life is just so unbearable without any solution to improve it. In my case, I had a set of facial procedures which ruined my whole face and probably can't be fixed and now I'm a recluse. I don't have any friends, family won't talk to me, I have no life and although revision surgeries are an option (I've had some already but haven't improved it) just seems like nothing can be done to reverse this mess. Before this, I was never suicidal so for me it's ultimately down to how I look facially and how I am treated on a daily basis by general public that makes me want to CTB.

If you decide to continue to today, then I will understand your choices. I hope you find peace xxx

 

[Willto]

I'm sorry to hear what you have been through it does sound tragic, but have you tried to turn your life around and start again? Apologies if this is not the right thing to be saying to you at this time right now, but when I look at my situation compared to others who have CTB I kind of feel that some situations can be resolved, and some cannot. I mean, if you can walk, talk, see, hear and pass as a human being still then there is nothing to stop you from trying right. Again, I'm sorry if this is not cool to be telling you this but I suppose I'm someone who ultimately feels someone should live unless they are going to die anyway, or life is just so unbearable without any solution to improve it. In my case, I had a set of facial procedures which ruined my whole face and probably can't be fixed and now I'm a recluse. I don't have any friends, family won't talk to me, I have no life and although revision surgeries are an option (I've had some already but haven't improved it) just seems like nothing can be done to reverse this mess. Before this, I was never suicidal so for me it's ultimately down to how I look facially and how I am treated on a daily basis by general public that makes me want to CTB.

If you decide to continue to today, then I will understand your choices. I hope you find peace xxx

Tried therapy, meds and reconnect with family. All failed. I see what you are saying, I can ensure you that all options are lost. Everything is my own fault and can't be mended. I have lost all hope.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be really tiring and painful what you have had to endure in this life and I know that when life just gets worse it really can be so dreadful. Your feelings of wishing to be free from everything are understandable. I wish you the best.

 

[Willto]

Not alone after all this afternoon. Next possible time in two days. Beeing watched

 

[Nikki2020]

Yes, but the happy memories just hurts to think of. What was and is not there anymore.

me too. the memories are so painful. ❤
i wish you peace in whatever you decide. being here on earth is extremely painful. ❤ i feel you.

 

[no_more_pain72]

Not alone after all this afternoon. Next possible time in two days. Beeing watched

Count yourself lucky, some of us will always be on our own!

 

[Willto]

Count yourself lucky, some of us will always be on our own!

Depends on who's watching