i've made the decision to ctb a few days ago and i can't lie, i'm so happy at the idea that it's happening soon. but it's also making me more lax about everything going on in my life. like i have 2 jobs and i was already planning to quit one cause i hate working nights. but normally i would've quit with a 2 weeks notice and all cause i might need the job again in the future or as a reference. but now that i'm gonna ctb in a few months, what does it matter about future jobs? there won't be any more jobs. so i'm thinking about just quitting and never showing up again.
but of course if my ctb attempt fails, i'll still be alive so i know i should be prudent right now. it's just weird cause i know if i fail the first time, i'll keep trying so does my normal life even matter now?
idk it's complicated
but of course if my ctb attempt fails, i'll still be alive so i know i should be prudent right now. it's just weird cause i know if i fail the first time, i'll keep trying so does my normal life even matter now?
idk it's complicated
