Wanna know the hypocritical thing about me being on the site?

[Rustysoupcan]

I work in a psych ward. I am both the thing this sub hates and one of yall.

If you're asking why I'd do that, I do care about people and I do have an interest in mental health. There are some people who DO want help, those are my favorite patients.

Then there are also patients where I'm like yeah, if I were you I'd kill myself too, it makes sense.

I'll literally be on a 1:1 with someone who actively wants to die and I'll be sitting there fantasizing about my own death. Am I hypocrite? Am I just a person with dual sided views? Idk, maybe both.

 

[sadworld]

Ohh, this is really interesting. Do you think you can relate to the patients better than the other workers there?

 

[lifeisbutadream]

Hey we're all human. 4% of doctor deaths are by suicide, and it might be even higher if they were made to look like death by a natural cause.

 

[Caspers]

If you want to be here and are struggling, we're still here for you. I (and many others) would only not like you if you're one of those abusive staff or a pro lifer. But you appear to be the opposite, so I'm sure you have every right to be here. You are welcome to come here to vent, to get advice, to talk

 

[aanonymous]

sorry for any inconvenience but
how do i create a new post here?
thx

 

[Bauhaus]

Well, you're a mental health worker and you want to help the patients.
But you're also empathic towards patients who don't wanna go on any longer and wanna die.
So no, you're not a hypocrite.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I "hate" psych wards because of how patients are treated, not served. And I worked in front line admin in community mental health, and later was a client at a different organization, and CMH can also be an abusive mind-fuck of an environment depending on the organization and its leadership, so I have some hatred for that too. When I worked there, it was much more supportive, when I left, it had gone downhill with new leadership and new evidence-based requirements and intrusions in appointments such as following a set protocol on the computer. I left for personal reasons, but the environment went out of alignment with my ethics, and at some point I would have had to deal with that.

Does the environment you work in align with your ethics? Does the environment dehumanize and do more harm than good? It's something for you to work out with your own soul. Personally, I've voluntarily been in a variety of psych wards, from decent to horrific, and I never felt respected or heard, or like anyone believed I knew my own experiences and my own needs. If I worked in an environment like that, at some point I'd have to do some soul-searching, because even when I worked in CMH, I had taken on some of the attitude of sitting on the power side of the separating glass, when I originally went there to be supportive of the clients. It's like colonialism, I bought into and connected with the power of the oppressor, I didn't empower or genuinely serve the oppressed as I'd intended. But it doesn't make you a hypocrite to work in a psych ward and also be suicidal and on SS. However if you were to start treating fellow members like you were on the other side of the glass, I might, you know, throw down with you.

 

[sufferingalways]

I "hate" psych wards because of how patients are treated, not served. And I worked in front line admin in community mental health, and later was a client at a different organization, and CMH can also be an abusive mind-fuck of an environment depending on the organization and its leadership, so I have some hatred for that too. When I worked there, it was much more supportive, when I left, it had gone downhill with new leadership and new evidence-based requirements and intrusions in appointments such as following a set protocol on the computer. I left for personal reasons, but the environment went out of alignment with my ethics, and at some point I would have had to deal with that.

Does the environment you work in align with your ethics? Does the environment dehumanize and do more harm than good? It's something for you to work out with your own soul. Personally, I've voluntarily been in a variety of psych wards, from decent to horrific, and I never felt respected or heard, or like anyone believed I knew my own experiences and my own needs. If I worked in an environment like that, at some point I'd have to do some soul-searching, because even when I worked in CMH, I had taken on some of the attitude of sitting on the power side of the separating glass, when I originally went there to be supportive of the clients. It's like colonialism, I bought into and connected with the power of the oppressor, I didn't empower or genuinely serve the oppressed as I'd intended. But it doesn't make you a hypocrite to work in a psych ward and also be suicidal and on SS. However if you were to start treating fellow members like you were on the other side of the glass, I might, you know, throw down with you.

Thank you for sharing your past CMH experiences. I have a few questions to ask you but at the moment too sleepy so I will save it for another day (when I haven't gone to bed at 5am).

 

[OpheliasFlowers]

I don't think you're a hypocrite at all. I'm very sorry you suffer the pain and torment of suicidal ideation, but I guess I'd rather talk to and be cared for by someone who understands vs the doctors and nurses I've encountered during my stay on the psych floor who didn't seem to give a shit and treated patients like they were just a PIA. But again I'm sorry that your compassion and understanding for your patients is because you share the same kind of pain.

 

[Jean Améry]

If you work in a closed ward with suicidal people being held against their will and forced to undergo treatment you are indeed a hypocrite. Assuming you subscribe to the pro choice stance of this forum which logically entails opposition to forced suicide prevention.

It would be like a cop busting people for drug offenses while being for the legalization of drugs who does drugs himself.

I'll admit I do not understand how anyone can be suicidal and work for any institution that considers it its job to prevent suicide (whether by voluntary or involuntary treatment). Plus don't you actually have to believe in the whole psychiatric dogma in order to do that kind of work? Doesn't that dogma state that suicide is the product of mental illness, by definition irrational and should be prevented at all cost?

If so why don't you admit you're suicidal yourself and seek the appropriate treatment/therapy? Could it be that you know what the consequences will be vis-à-vis your freedom, personal autonomy and professional prospects? Or do you simply not believe in the efficacity/scientific validity of said treatment?

This isn't meant as criticism, just my thoughts on the matter. I'm actually curious as to your answers.

I don't 'hate' psychiatry: if it's purely voluntary I have no problem with it whatsoever. If it's forced on people (i.e against their will) who represent no credible danger to others I think it's an abomination that should be abolished and everyone involved in it prosecuted for (being an accomplice to) assault and battery, poisoning, wrongful imprisonement and as a collective involvement in crimes against humanity.

Opposition to something does not necessarily entail personal animosity towards people (a.k.a. 'hatred'). I think it's typical of modern internet culture to make everything personal and describe everything in terms of the feelings that are generated.

 

[goodbyebunny]

I think it's normal for most people to have parts of themselves that are very contrary. I think it's the nature of being a unique individual. A hearty welcome to you. I hope you find what you need on the forum and feel safe and accepted here.

 

[woxihuanni]

If you work in a closed ward with suicidal people being held against their will and forced to undergo treatment you are indeed a hypocrite. Assuming you subscribe to the pro choice stance of this forum which logically entails opposition to forced suicide prevention.

It would be like a cop busting people for drug offenses while being for the legalization of drugs who does drugs himself.

I'll admit I do not understand how anyone can be suicidal and work for any institution that considers it its job to prevent suicide (whether by voluntary or involuntary treatment). Plus don't you actually have to believe in the whole psychiatric dogma in order to do that kind of work? Doesn't that dogma state that suicide is the product of mental illness, by definition irrational and should be prevented at all cost?

If so why don't you admit you're suicidal yourself and seek the appropriate treatment/therapy? Could it be that you know what the consequences will be vis-à-vis your freedom, personal autonomy and professional prospects? Or do you simply not believe in the efficacity/scientific validity of said treatment?

This isn't meant as criticism, just my thoughts on the matter. I'm actually curious as to your answers.

I don't 'hate' psychiatry: if it's purely voluntary I have no problem with it whatsoever. If it's forced on people (i.e against their will) who represent no credible danger to others I think it's an abomination that should be abolished and everyone involved in it prosecuted for (being an accomplice to) assault and battery, poisoning, wrongful imprisonement and as a collective involvement in crimes against humanity.

Opposition to something does not necessarily entail personal animosity towards people (a.k.a. 'hatred'). I think it's typical of modern internet culture to make everything personal and describe everything in terms of the feelings that are generated.

There is also the problem of second-hand shrinkery. That is, some cray cray lady goes to therapy, has tantrums everyday anyway, but is now convinced she knows something about the human mind so pushes dumb impressions from her therapy on you.

Eg: I am about to be homeless, stateless, kicked out of my phd and she says: You don't love yourself :/. Lady, you are too dumb and have no link to reality whatsoever.

 

[allym101]

No I think it's normal. There are some people who probably shouldn't CTB but there's others where I totally get it and don't want to discourage them. For example, your girlfriend broke up with you. Kind of a petty reason.

 

[Symbiote]

You're the one person in that entire ward that can empathize with those who are suffering, while also helping those that want a second chance. Rather than join the hive mind collective of psychiatry that EVERYONE NEEDS TO BE KEPT ALIVE, but I don't think you are in a position on that floor to influence any doctors or your coworkers on better ways to handle suicidal persons.

 

[greebo6]

I think you are simply being logical. I agree with your differing conclusions about different patients.
Regardless of the job everyone still has an independent thought process. As long as you always remain professional , and it sounds like you do , while your doing your job then I don't see a problem.
So yep ,its normal and no ,you don't sound like a hypocrite to me.

 

[ready 2 go]

What are your views on suicide prevention measures (i.e restraint, involuntary admission, injection, seclusion)? And would they change if they were implemented on you?

 

[Viceroy]

Not so surprising tbh. People who work in healthcare tend to do it higher than average

 

[Jean Améry]

For example, your girlfriend broke up with you. Kind of a petty reason.

I very much doubt anyone has ever CTB'd because of that reason alone. Suicide doesn't just happen out of the blue: a lot has to happen before it's even considered a possiblity. I doubt humanity would have made it this far if suicide at the drop of a hat for any old reason would be a frequent occurence.

As far as I can tell extreme suffering is the number one reason people kill themselves so what makes you think any motive to do so would be trivial? Perhaps some people feel so incredibly deeply you simply cannot imagine it and thus are unable to phantom their suffering if things go sour.

There are some people who CTB because they find life to be utterly meaningless although they have a pretty good life. Is that trivial/petty? Perhaps they see life more clearly than just about anybody.

Plus does it really matter why a person wants to die? Who are we to judge really? It's quite likely others will consider your reason(s) petty. Whatever they may be. That's the nature of the whole ethical debate around suicide: no reason will be hailed as valid by all. Even stage 4 cancer is not a valid reason in the eyes of some (christian fundamentalists and other looney tunes for example).

This doesn't mean I think anyone should kill themselves just because they feel like it (I might even suggest, as I have done in the past, perhaps they should wait a little longer and point out they might feel differently after a while) but I do believe strongly in their right to do so. That entails not judging their motives.

 

[Spitfire]

I do not think it sounds like you are a hypocrite. The psych population wether people want to believe it or not, these people sometimes need other people to be there for them, especially during a crisis scenario. Is it going to be the family, do they often always have a clue?

Some suicidal people are actually a danger to themselves (not only just to cause their own death), and to other people around them as well.

 

[Rustysoupcan]

If you work in a closed ward with suicidal people being held against their will and forced to undergo treatment you are indeed a hypocrite. Assuming you subscribe to the pro choice stance of this forum which logically entails opposition to forced suicide prevention.

It would be like a cop busting people for drug offenses while being for the legalization of drugs who does drugs himself.

I'll admit I do not understand how anyone can be suicidal and work for any institution that considers it its job to prevent suicide (whether by voluntary or involuntary treatment). Plus don't you actually have to believe in the whole psychiatric dogma in order to do that kind of work? Doesn't that dogma state that suicide is the product of mental illness, by definition irrational and should be prevented at all cost?

If so why don't you admit you're suicidal yourself and seek the appropriate treatment/therapy? Could it be that you know what the consequences will be vis-à-vis your freedom, personal autonomy and professional prospects? Or do you simply not believe in the efficacity/scientific validity of said treatment?

This isn't meant as criticism, just my thoughts on the matter. I'm actually curious as to your answers.

I don't 'hate' psychiatry: if it's purely voluntary I have no problem with it whatsoever. If it's forced on people (i.e against their will) who represent no credible danger to others I think it's an abomination that should be abolished and everyone involved in it prosecuted for (being an accomplice to) assault and battery, poisoning, wrongful imprisonement and as a collective involvement in crimes against humanity.

Opposition to something does not necessarily entail personal animosity towards people (a.k.a. 'hatred'). I think it's typical of modern internet culture to make everything personal and describe everything in terms of the feelings that are generated.

I do work in a closed unit, I believe every inpatient psychiatric facility in my country is closed. I originally took the job because I was a patient at a different inpatient unit and it really helped me at the time.

I do believe that most suicides are caused by mental illness. But mental illness is a valid reason to ctb in my opinion.

I am in treatment myself for my depression. Its obviously outpatient treatment. I believe treatment can work for some, but doesn't for others. I think I am the other whonit doesnt work for. Any time I've been in a locked facility it has helped in the sense that I wouldn't attempt or have a plan to attempt again for a while. But it always comes back. That it just my personal experience. I know for plenty of people and hospital stay only makes it worse and I understand that.

In terms of another reply you made, there are people who attempt suicide because of something like a breakup. As you mentioned it's not the only reason, usually that person will have underlying mental illness, usually depression or bpd. In situations like that the person is just in a true crisis and usually a hospital stay gives them time to be safe and let their world calm for a little bit, and they usually have a positive experience with us.

Idk if this was clear earlier but at the place I work at we will take people who are both voluntary or chaptered. They either are a danger to themselves (suicidal, manic, psychosis) or others (psychosis, homicidal ideation). There are definitely patients who appreciate our services and get a lot of help while with us. There are some, usually people with chronic mental illness who for them our unit is purely just to keep them safe for a few days. Sometimes people with chronic illness want help and I applaud that, but I would also understand if they went home and ctb right away.

For me, ctb makes sense for people with chronic mental illness that doesnt get better with treatment. I obviously dont encourage suicide to my patients, but for some I think silently to myself that suicide might be a good option for them. There are others who I dont think suicide is a good option and they can have amazing lives with a little bit of meds or therapy. Maybe that sounds like me overstepping because I should dictate what is and isn't good for someone, but that's just my thoughts.

I feel like I just said the same thing 9 times over. Hopefully you at least got a couple of answers lol

 

[jumpedroped]

You're not alone.

I'm a nurse in a hospital psych unit.

I don't consider myself a hypocrite because I don't force people to stay alive. I think it's only right that people are given the chance to get treatment and stay alive. I've never held someone down and taken SN from them.

 

[iftheworldwasending]

i don't think you're a hypocrite at all. i think we all want others to succeed and be happy at the end of the day. i think what you're doing is actually incredible.
i've always wanted to help other people and have been inpatient many times and dealt with not so great nurses. i know you're probably amazing at helping people bc you get it. i would've loved to have someone like you there when i was in.

 

[Samsara]

You're not a hypocrite; I also work in mental health

 

[BridgeJumper]

You are precious, I met like 3 people working mental health that actually care. The rest treat us like objects.
Nothing is your fault cause youre like us

 

[Brackenshire]

I work in Mental Health also, lifelong depressant too

 

[Gnip]

If you work in a closed ward with suicidal people being held against their will and forced to undergo treatment you are indeed a hypocrite. Assuming you subscribe to the pro choice stance of this forum which logically entails opposition to forced suicide prevention.

It would be like a cop busting people for drug offenses while being for the legalization of drugs who does drugs himself.

I'll admit I do not understand how anyone can be suicidal and work for any institution that considers it its job to prevent suicide (whether by voluntary or involuntary treatment). Plus don't you actually have to believe in the whole psychiatric dogma in order to do that kind of work? Doesn't that dogma state that suicide is the product of mental illness, by definition irrational and should be prevented at all cost?

If so why don't you admit you're suicidal yourself and seek the appropriate treatment/therapy? Could it be that you know what the consequences will be vis-à-vis your freedom, personal autonomy and professional prospects? Or do you simply not believe in the efficacity/scientific validity of said treatment?

This isn't meant as criticism, just my thoughts on the matter. I'm actually curious as to your answers.

I don't 'hate' psychiatry: if it's purely voluntary I have no problem with it whatsoever. If it's forced on people (i.e against their will) who represent no credible danger to others I think it's an abomination that should be abolished and everyone involved in it prosecuted for (being an accomplice to) assault and battery, poisoning, wrongful imprisonement and as a collective involvement in crimes against humanity.

Opposition to something does not necessarily entail personal animosity towards people (a.k.a. 'hatred'). I think it's typical of modern internet culture to make everything personal and describe everything in terms of the feelings that are generated.

I was a hospital support staffer out of high school who had the mental health unit as part of my coverage area in the building, so I got to know these people as co workers, and also witnessed their condescending and dismissive attitude towards their subjects (patients), some of whom were former hospital employees themselves.

Decades later, that mental health unit went out of operation. Former employees there who I've encountered since admit all they were doing was merely collecting a paycheck.

Often in many lines of work, a particular vocation is selected out of idealism. Then, the reality of making ends meet, supporting a marriage or family kicks in, and caring about the people you're supposed to be attending to becomes an unaffordable luxury. (I knew a hospital security guard who had retired from serving 22 years on the NYPD after serving a hitch in the USMC. He laughingly admitted, "Yeah, at first when I became a rookie cop, I had the attitude, 'I'm gonna really help straighten this city out!,' then realized within two weeks, 'Damn, I've gotta watch out for my OWN ass from others inside this force!" He spent the next 22 years just trying to hang on long enough to secure his lousy NYPD pension, only to discover it wasn't going to be enough for him and his family to subsist on.)

Volunteers were the best people hospitals had during the days that 65 was the mandatory retirement age. To keep active, people who weren't ready to retire at 65 would volunteer, usually at hospitals, while their grandchildren who were too young to drive or be hired for hourly jobs also pitched in as volunteers to get their feet in the door for entry level hospital jobs. (Unfortunately, seniors won their fight to gain the right to work past age 65. Well, be careful what you wish for, because today's seniors now have to work full time until death to survive or pay off their debts.)

Frankly, I was delighted that mental health unit went out of operation, as these do more damage than good to their victims and society as a whole. (Incidentally, one of their inpatients when I worked there was a future supervisor of mine with a subsequent employer. Turns out that lithium was required in that particular case. We had a contentious working relationship during the year and a half we were later employed together, but I was a professional, and some facts of knowledge are strictly off limits in my book. I had known this person for years prior to that hospitalization though as a colleague of my father's, and had read that hospital file decades before HIPPA privacy laws. Years after we had both retired, this former supervisor and mental health inpatient actually accompanied me several times to my own failed outpatient ECT treatments.)

 

[_Kaira_]

It's an interesting topic I always have wondered about mental health workers. The question being "How do you handle all the baggage you deal with in this field?"

Of course I know there's anomalies. Such as crappy doctors/ people who really don't give a damn. Or simply just people in it for the money/benefits. I even asked my own therapist that question. She of course didn't 100% answer it. Went on a long spiel about a lot of home 'self care'. But I digress. It must overall long term negatively effect the mind, for the average sympathetic/empathetic person. A lot are bound by policies that don't allow them to do much outside the rules, that would truly help the mentally ill.

I have had my own share of bad therapists/psychiatrists. The ones who actually do seem to care to at least some extent, I feel guilt bringing my life long hell to them. For people like you OP, I know I probably would never be able to work in your position. I can barely deal with my own shit let alone others'.

 

[Gnip]

It's an interesting topic I always have wondered about mental health workers. The question being "How do you handle all the baggage you deal with in this field."

Of course I know there's anomalies. Such as crappy doctors/ people who really don't give a damn. Or simply just people in it for the money/benefits. I even asked my own therapist that question. She of course didn't 100% answer it. Went on a long spiel about a lot of home 'self care'. But I digress. It must overall long term negatively effect the mind, for the average sympathetic/empathetic person. A lot are bound by policies that don't allow them to do much outside the rules that would truly help the mentally ill.

I have had my own share of bad therapists/psychiatrists. The ones who actually do seem to care to at least some extent, I feel guilt bringing my life long hell to them. For people like you OP, I know I probably would never be able to work in your position. I can barely deal with my own shit let alone others'.

It's been six and a half years since my former psychiatrist of 18 years abruptly closed her private practice. I doubt she gave me or any of her other former patients a moment's thought once leaving her emergency pager behind and removing her office number from the telephone directory.

Other mental health workers I've known leave work at work. "Baggage?" If they're effective enough, there's very little baggage. If they're ineffective but care too much, they burn out quickly or go mad themselves. In that case, they're better off not caring at all.

Any smart ones who are at risk of suffering under the weight of transference know to undergo counseling themselves to discharge it, a common and standard practice.

Many people who go into the mental health field do so because they have mental health issues themselves. Their motives are the opposite of irony.

Neither of my psychiatrists had any such compelling backstory. One started out as an ER physician because she calmed down under pressure. (I actually saw this when she was talking down panicked suicidal patients on the phone during emergency pages when we had office appointments. Her respiration would actually slow and deepen as she relaxed into her patient's crisis.) When I asked her why she left emergency room medicine for psychiatry, she simply replied, "I like it." No deep introspection needed.

The psychiatrist I currently have is so prominent that most of you (if not all of you) would probably recognize his most well known cultural contribution. Originally, he aspired to be a radiologist, but was then inspired by a mentor to go into psychiatry. Again, not really a compelling psychological backstory there. (Now it his mid 70's, I may have been the final new patient he accepted when we met in May 2014. I'm also probably the poorest patient he has, but I've held his interest and respect. If you weren't his patient prior to 2015, you couldn't become his patient after, no matter how rich, famous or powerful, characters he's sometimes disdained as vacuous and self absorbed. Apparently, I'm somehow unique in his over five decades of medical experience, but I see myself as a foggy idiot. He's a huge fan of Robert Burns who recites that poetry from memory, yet he also somehow enjoys reading my cover letter syllabus prose for commencing each visit despite my having flunked English more times than I have fingers and toes.)

Both my psychiatrists personally knew a number of psychiatrists and psychologists who committed suicide however, and a few of them were commonly known to both me and my former psychiatrist. (I discussed one of them extensively with my former psychiatrist, since that person's incarceration and subsequent suicide by hanging were a matter of public record, and all three of us lived in the same small town community. Incidentally, all my former psychiatrist and I did when we saw each other about was exchange polite greetings and pleasantries. From my end, she shouldn't be engaged in further conversation by me unless she's getting paid for it. Civility is civility, business is business.)

 

[_Kaira_]

It's been six and a half years since my former psychiatrist of 18 years abruptly closed her private practice. I doubt she gave me or any of her other former patients a moment's thought once leaving her emergency pager behind and removing her office number from the telephone directory.

Other mental health workers I've known leave work at work. "Baggage?" If they're effective enough, there's very little baggage. If they're ineffective but care too much, they burn out quickly or go mad themselves. In that case, they're better off not caring at all.

Any smart ones who are at risk of suffering under the weight of transference know to undergo counseling themselves to discharge it, a common and standard practice.

Many people who go into the mental health field do so because they have mental health issues themselves. Their motives are the opposite of irony.

Neither of my psychiatrists had any such compelling backstory. One started out as an ER physician because she calmed down under pressure. (I actually saw this when she was talking down panicked suicidal patients on the phone during emergency pages when we had office appointments. Her respiration would actually slow and deepen as she relaxed into her patient's crisis.) When I asked her why she left emergency room medicine for psychiatry, she simply replied, "I like it." No deep introspection needed.

The psychiatrist I currently have is so prominent that most of you (if not all of you) would probably recognize his most well known cultural contribution. Originally, he aspired to be a radiologist, but was then inspired by a mentor to go into psychiatry. Again, not really a compelling psychological backstory there. (Now it his mid 70's, I may have been the final new patient he accepted when we met in May 2014. I'm also probably the poorest patient he has, but I've held his interest and respect. If you weren't his patient prior to 2015, you couldn't become his patient after, no matter how rich, famous or powerful, characters he's sometimes disdained as vacuous and self absorbed. Apparently, I'm somehow unique in his over five decades of medical experience, but I see myself as a foggy idiot. He's a huge fan of Robert Burns who recites that poetry from memory, yet he also somehow enjoys reading my cover letter syllabus prose for commencing each visit despite my having flunked English more times than I have fingers and toes.)

Both my psychiatrists personally knew a number of psychiatrists and psychologists who committed suicide however, and a few of them were commonly known to both me and my former psychiatrist. (I discussed one of them extensively with my former psychiatrist, since that person's incarceration and subsequent suicide by hanging were a matter of public record, and all three of us lived in the same small town community. Incidentally, all my former psychiatrist and I did when we saw each other about was exchange polite greetings and pleasantries. From my end, she shouldn't be engaged in further conversation by me unless she's getting paid for it. Civility is civility, business is business.)

That's something my current therapist told me. She leaves work at work. I just can't wrap my mind around how. Again because it's her job and her self care. She said she had her own therapist before as well. To this much I understand. But again, I can't imagine trying to what I could for other broken people, and in some cases, they ctb. Professional or otherwise, it must be a lot like losing a friend or someone else you've known. Which again, is why I myself wouldn't be able to handle it. I pondered psychology and at one point was interested in it as a career path. Ultimately? I understood I am one of those who would break under it all. It hurts me on a deep level just reading other's goodbye threads on SS. Complete strangers whom some I never spoke to once. I can't imagine investing in a client for months, and boom, they're gone.

I really like my current therapist. She's nice, and it feels good to be able to get the darkness that is my own thoughts off my chest. I can say she's good at what she does, because It's hard for me to like most professionals. I feel calm during the short time I have with her. But yet it still will not be enough come my own CTB. The illusion that we're not just clients to be dealt with for one's own gain or whatever is just something nice to have. At least for me. But I would never ask any of them to break under the pressure like I would. It's sad that some do.


My thoughts are random and everywhere, most likely unfinished. I ramble a lot, so take all of this with a grain of salt.

 

[muffin222]

Fascinating! I'd love to know what your thoughts are on involuntary commitment?