Help Very very sucicidal right now

[Lara Francis]

I am so sorry, Lara. If it helps at all, imagine me sending you all my strength and hope, both for you and for your boy.

Ps it does help thanku xx
This was the wording of a card my boy gave me.
You're such a special mum.
Its not easy to describe a mum as special as you.you're cherished and loved in so many ways,you're truly remarkable.
In all the world,there's no mum like you
You're unique and quite like no other
A precious and dear mum in every way
No one could wish for other.
You brighten each and every day with the lovely things you say.
You have a caring motherly touch,You'll always be dearly loved.
You're appreciated for all you do
You're kind,sensitive and true.
You radiate love from within you
Youre a mum who truly wonderful !

I dont know about wonderful is the right word.
Selfish Bitch sounds more relevant.
Shall i go ?

 

[Soul]

Beautiful Lara, please be very gentle with yourself. Talk to us, go for walks with that dog, drink plenty of water and breathe deep. People here will help all we can to see you through the two months, and your friends irl will too. (((Hugs)))

 

[Lara Francis]

Would u believe that i felt alright this morning.even my cpn said i looked better.

Sometime i just like to go shopping as a distraction and a way to get out of the house.
When i went yesterday,i had one packet of biscuits to show for my efforts !

Beautiful Lara, please be very gentle with yourself. Talk to us, go for walks with that dog, drink plenty of water and breathe deep. People here will help all we can to see you through the two months, and your friends irl will too. (((Hugs)))

Its very hard when you have not given up on your son but given up on yourself
I tried to do some writing and listen to music but it didnt help

 

[LaBrava]

Sorry you're feeling so bad. I can imagine how hard it seems to hold on for two months but it's obvious that the bond between you and your son is something really special and important and really worth holding on for. Don't do anything impulsive and hang on. We're all rooting for you here.

 

[Lara Francis]

I think a hibernation period is coming on.i will return my friends dog,draw the curtains and pretend the world doesnt matter

Sorry you're feeling so bad. I can imagine how hard it seems to hold on for two months but it's obvious that the bond between you and your son is something really special and important and really worth holding on for. Don't do anything impulsive and hang on. We're all rooting for you here.

My boy is a beautiful soul and we have a very loving relationship.I get to see him tomorrow

 

[stillwoozy]

I'm sending you love <3 Feel free to message me if you want to talk.
I hope you're able to see your boy at least once more before you choose to go (if you do).

 

[Lara Francis]

I am going to take some diazapam to get me to sleep
Maybe that will help

 

[Ashpac]

I am going to take some diazapam to get me to sleep
Maybe that will help

I hope the diazepam helps you sleep Lara. Sorry your going through so much shit ATM. Hope you feel better soon.

 

[Lara Francis]

What do u think we will feel in the moments prior to death ?

 

[Ashpac]

What do u think we will feel in the moments prior to death ?

Fear, relief, joy, uncertainty to name a few. Depends on the person and their situation. I'm sure other people will have their own input.

 

[Lara Francis]

I wish that i could close my eyes for one last time

Fear, relief, joy, uncertainty to name a few. Depends on the person and their situation. I'm sure other people will have their own input.

It is nice to see you Ashpac x
I never thought i would leave this world through suicide
Each time i fall its harder to get up.
The diazapam is working.
Thankyou for your kind words and listening to me my friends.
Love to you all xx
Logging off.speak soon.

 

[Ryhafner]

I know what you mean

 

[stillwoozy]

I hope you sleep well tonight and I'm glad the diazapam works <3

 

[lululoo]

Lara, I hope you are sleeping well. You are a really special person. I just want you to know I wish I could help you feel better. I hope you can get through this and see your son again.