Discussion Venting is helpfull before leave ?

[samdocheon]

Hi!

As title said I just want to have opinions about personal venting thread , especially here.
What I mean ? I'm 100% sure to ctb soon but I can't tell anything factual with closest people who still "around" me.
And I regret only on thing. When I'll dead, the only thing they will say will be that I was "sick" , that the word my family ever used to talk about me. Words have impact and meanings and yes they hurts but not everyone is touchy about it. Anyway.

My real question is : Venting here, not to have kind answers, will help me to path peacefully?

All nights are short since 10 years, around 3 hours a night , but lasts nights I dreamt about my worth life moments. It doesn't make me feel Bad more than I was already.

Family will don't read what I wrote here ( probably ) and if it wrong, don't Care. We have family that we have, their past, thinkings or other.
The fact is my parents ashaming me since birth because of theirs worst throughts especially about racims and I ever blamed about it. Physically and trashtalk. Can't change that or them but it really fuck my life since start.
But I won't it turn for a racism thread because that's not a discussion about this. Just mean if I want to be touch the truth, it always be about my family's racism that I ever attempting. I'm not responsible for them that's right but History is political for those same reasons.

I'm really sad about it.
Anyway feel free to give advices about my lasts days.

The purpose being to appease me before leaving.

Thanks

 

[Forever Sleep]

I definitely think this place can help to feel heard, even if it is anonymously. Many of us are sparing our friends and loved ones from hearing the truth about how we really feel. I think a lot of us know there isn't much they could do to help and it would likely only upset and worry them. But, it's hard living with all this stuff on your own. I for one am so grateful to have a place to be able to express all this stuff without getting a bunch of useless platitudes back or feeling that I've really worried a loved one.

I think you're also right that most people tend to chalk suicide down to mental illness which I agree- is very dismissive and pretty lazy too. Surely- there are always reasons a person becomes that way! But, that could throw blame on them so, I expect that's why people just tend to blame it on some abstract, ominous mental condition. Again, I agree- it can feel like a relief to open up here about some of the shit we've gone through that has lead us to this point. I'm sorry you've experienced these things.