Validity of “life will get better”

[KiraComplex]

i dont get why people say this. seriously, i think its one of those things they say so they dont have to think too hard about addressing the venting person's problems.

at my local mall, theres this old lady janitor, like old. how could life get better if youre picking up teenager's shit on the ground? or will she suddenly become a millionaire at age 60 like what these self help youtubers/redditors say will happen? i just dont get it.

for me at least, ive never really been "better". just suffering different. im sick of being invalidated by selfish people who, if you leave, will be sad for a minute then move on. i want the life their living to where they can lowkey flex how good their life is and how "ill get there if i hold on" when i know thats a fat lie, and an egotrip that helps neither of us.

i dont know

 

[Acerakis]

Should really be 'Life CAN get better, but can just easily go back to bad.'

What people usually leave off of the getting better part is the ton of work you will need to put it in and just the luck required. That and the drop back to terrible after you felt you were improving can be soul crushing.

 

[SpottedPanda]

I think they say it because they're aware that life has highs and lows. Sometimes we're in a rut, sometimes we're on a roll.

People can be considered lucky and others can have chronic bad luck.

There are varying circumstances. I just think people are talking from experience, but not everyone's experiences are the same.

I've had great times in my life and terrible ones. Right now is a mediocre time, and is highly unlikely to become anything but mediocre.

But I'm not sure if the 'it gets better' crowd means it'll be any less whack, boring, utterly mundane, or mediocre.

 

[KiraComplex]

Should really be 'Life CAN get better, but can just easily go back to bad.'

What people usually leave off of the getting better part is the ton of work you will need to put it in and just the luck required. That and the drop back to terrible after you felt you were improving can be soul crushing.

they say go outside and get a job, and completely miss the point that im too depressed and hate myself to do either. they expect me to be like "oh wow tysm! doing that rn ur the best" like im fixing a phone.

I think they say it because they're aware that life has highs and lows. Sometimes we're in a rut, sometimes we're on a roll.

People can be considered lucky and others can have chronic bad luck.

There are varying circumstances. I just think people are talking from experience, but not everyone's experiences are the same.

I've had great times in my life and terrible ones. Right now is a mediocre time, and is highly unlikely to become anything but mediocre.

But I'm not sure if the 'it gets better' crowd means it'll be any less whack, boring, utterly mundane, or mediocre.

life is like hills but sometimes is a steep decline. or it's kentucky bc its so damn boring and flat rn

 

[TAW122]

I feel ya and hear ya on this. I've encountered my fair share (and more) of people spewing such statements (even similar ones, but phrased differently). It's really corny, dismissive, and unhelpful. Sure, I guess to that person, things DID get better for him/her, but he/she can't speak for everyone nor do they have the power, ability, or means to change such a shitty situation.

Even in the SW subreddit on reddit, there is a rule that forbids posters and redditors from making promises on the future (whether things get better or not), so this goes to show that the "it gets better" is just a false promise (a lot of the time) and people say it without having sincerity or meaning behind it. It also has a vibe of motivational, pep-talk, self-help bullshit which just irks me even more. I hate it just as much as you do because it is self-serving, doesn't fucking help, and only said to make the spewer (person saying it) to feel 'good' about him/herself. It has little to do with the person it's directed towards, other than to make that person feel dismissed or ignored. But I digress..

In short, I hate that statement just as much as you do because it not only invalidates the problems that specific person is going through, it is also making a (false) promise of something that may/not happen, and it is self-serving for the person saying it (just to stroke his/her own ego and feel good about themselves.). It's really just a bullshit platitude imho.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

Someone I really respect and look up to said the most validating thing after we were talking about my depression. Instead of saying "things will get better," he told me "Don't give up on yourself. Things can get better."

Saying "things will get better" just seems so condescending and thoughtless. Almost lazy.

 

[TheNorthernSilence]

Yeah, those kind of phrases are just empty words for me.

 

[Bct]

There is no validity because future is uncertain. It can get better, but it can go worse. It's easier to be in worse state since we're already struggling.

To make it sounds more valid, people should give plausible reasons why my life will be better. If they can't give any reasons, then it's just an empty platitude.

 

[I screwed up]

Its difficult to stop the downward spiral we r in ... So the future is likely to be worse although uncertain. It sucks .... its just a way to say" I can't help u and I don't care "

 

[KiraComplex]

I feel ya and hear ya on this. I've encountered my fair share (and more) of people spewing such statements (even similar ones, but phrased differently). It's really corny, dismissive, and unhelpful. Sure, I guess to that person, things DID get better for him/her, but he/she can't speak for everyone nor do they have the power, ability, or means to change such a shitty situation.

Even in the SW subreddit on reddit, there is a rule that forbids posters and redditors from making promises on the future (whether things get better or not), so this goes to show that the "it gets better" is just a false promise (a lot of the time) and people say it without having sincerity or meaning behind it. It also has a vibe of motivational, pep-talk, self-help bullshit which just irks me even more. I hate it just as much as you do because it is self-serving, doesn't fucking help, and only said to make the spewer (person saying it) to feel 'good' about him/herself. It has little to do with the person it's directed towards, other than to make that person feel dismissed or ignored. But I digress..

In short, I hate that statement just as much as you do because it not only invalidates the problems that specific person is going through, it is also making a (false) promise of something that may/not happen, and it is self-serving for the person saying it (just to stroke his/her own ego and feel good about themselves.). It's really just a bullshit platitude imho.

this!!! it should be a rule to read this 10 times over when u sign up for sw lmaoo

Someone I really respect and look up to said the most validating thing after we were talking about my depression. Instead of saying "things will get better," he told me "Don't give up on yourself. Things can get better."

Saying "things will get better " just seems so condescending and thoughtless. Almost lazy.

its the "can"!!! things can get better. while that may be true, maybe the better is getting closer to death. edgy but ive been thinking about it

Its difficult to stop the downward spiral we r in ... So the future is likely to be worse although uncertain. It sucks .... its just a way to say" I can't help u and I don't care "

"i cant help you, i dont care, but me saying how i have 8 figures (and you dont dumbass!) really proves how things get better. eat shit."

 

[737492]

I think it's honestly the worse advice to give to a suicidal person, if you're trying to save them.
No one can predict the future, and life doesnt turn well for everyone. Never mind it's kind of a lazy thing to say, it doesnt require any actual care or thought. It's overdone.
In my opinion theres just much better ways to talk someone out of suicide.

 

[AnnonyBox]

Honestly, I think it comes from a place of ignorance and helplessness. They're not aware of what you're going through, and they don't know how to help, so to them all they can do is offer a token gesture.

 

[FreddieQuell]

I think most people are just trying to cheer someone up by saying it will get better. Of course, for chronically suicidal people like me chances that things will get better are slim. Or they get do get better but still not enough to live a life worthy of living.

 

[KiraComplex]

I think it's honestly the worse advice to give to a suicidal person, if you're trying to save them.
No one can predict the future, and life doesnt turn well for everyone. Never mind it's kind of a lazy thing to say, it doesnt require any actual care or thought. It's overdone.
In my opinion theres just much better ways to talk someone out of suicide.

dont forget about the second go-to: what about <person>?

 

[Theresa Riot]

I hate it when people say that. Bitch I've spent 30 years trying and trying and trying to make my life better, and it only ever gets worse. I've put in my time. Now it's time to go.

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

Sometimes, for some people, life doesnt get better. It never will.

 

[ChoclateIsSweet]

If it did get better why is it taking so long? If it did get better then it should have been a long time ago.