Valentines day is just reminder of how men throughout my life rejected me

[Squalo]

I am almost 30 years old and I am a virgin, by now I am resigned to the fact that I will never find anyone who loves me, I closed my heart in a casket and threw it at the bottom of the ocean.

 

[whatevs]

honestly I think our society uses the word "love" wrong.
if a person can only "love" another person if this person has a lot of money, social status, or beautiful bodies, then do they really "love"? is this "love"? like someone said, it appears to be more like financial and material interest or pure carnal desires...

I can't have orgasms, so there is not much of a loss there. I have been living like the undead for quite some time.

What is love but a conditioned appreciation one has for another person as long as you keep deriving some benefit from the relationship? We have to be honest here. If you are thinking of unconditional love then that is something that only mystics talk about.

However, there is an aspect to love that is apparently selfless, and that is the "loving credit system" whereby those that are loved can expect a varying degree of support and understanding when they "aren't satisfying their end of the bargain". You can fuck up n amount of times, we are here for you when you are down, etc. But even this isn't selfless, since they are expecting you to recover and supply more of whatever that made you attractive in the first place.

I think what can be closer to the idea of love you seem to refer to is what happens when we know deeply and over a long period of time someone else that we happen to like or respect, and we end up even sharing their failures and victories: we identify with them. This kind of "union of the souls" really will trascend the base selfishness that we use to navigate every day reality. It is very sad and painful not to have this and it is the ideal that couples aspire to in theory, but can also be achieved with friends.

Not having this will always leave, even if buried in the back of your mind, a suspicion regarding one's worth.

 

[Ethereal Knight]

it's scary to see how much ugliness, loneliness, sexlessness / inceldom etc. can negatively affect our life satisfaction.
these are recurrent themes in this forum

many threads have touched these subjects, like these:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13 and many others...

If you are thinking of unconditional love then that is something that only mystics talk about.

you're right. everything between humans is trade.

I think I should expect real pure love only from gods, spiritual creatures or from myself.

other humans will lie, cheat and deceive, unfortunately...

 

[Superdeterminist]

it's scary to see how much ugliness, loneliness, sexlessness / inceldom etc. can negatively affect our life satisfaction.
these are recurrent themes in this forum

many threads have touched these subjects, like these:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13 and many others...

you're right. everything between humans is trade.

I think I should expect real pure love only from gods, spiritual creatures or from myself.

other humans will lie, cheat and deceive, unfortunately...

Here's the thing also. Even IF all of this unhappiness over a perceived 'missing out' on love or whatever else is in fact illusory (because getting it wouldn't change anything), it is still an equally lamentable situation to be mistakenly unhappy, and never have this mistaken unhappiness resolve, or have it resolve after a too long. It is just time spent suffering, and the reasons are almost irrelevant.

 

[FireFox]

it's scary to see how much ugliness, loneliness, sexlessness / inceldom etc. can negatively affect our life satisfaction.
these are recurrent themes in this forum

many threads have touched these subjects, like these:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13 and many others...

you're right. everything between humans is trade.

I think I should expect real pure love only from gods, spiritual creatures or from myself.

other humans will lie, cheat and deceive, unfortunately...

@ethereal.knight society likes to talk about how "empowering" being single is but avoids to mention how lonely being single truly is.

When I was child I had friends who want same primary school as me and I was really happy as I had so much fun with them. When I went to secondary school most of my friends from primary school went to different secondary schools except for one friend.

The friend who ended up going to the same secondary school as me she ended up getting a boyfriend and after that I didn't see her again after that. She found some friends and spent time with her boyfriend and pretty much stopped hanging out with me. I also made friends with another girl in school who used to wear glasses and was seen as geeky and weird. She got a makeover and people began to notice her. She changed and stopped hanging out with me.

Just seeing the girls in my class have boyfriends or have boys like them it was like everyone was growing up and moving on with their lives and I was just the odd one out.

When i was a teenager the tv shows and the films I would watch would feature teenage romances, women's also talked mainly about intimate relationships. I just felt like the odd one out because being relationship in your teens is just the norm.

Never having a relationship I feel like I have missed out on so much and never really grew as woman