Discussion Vacations and Ideation

[EternalShore]

Does anyone else also get greater sewer slidal ideation while on vacation? :)

Something I've been informed of is that I get much more sewer slidal every time I'm on vacation~ It makes sense in some ways, but it's weird because it's supposed to be a vacation, but it just makes me feel worse~ :/ just guessing here, but since my main source of happiness is from talking to a person on the internet, being disconnected makes me feel much worse~ additionally, having to see happy couples, teenagers, and college students just makes me jealous and even more miserable~ :/ in addition, in regards to any vacations with my grandparents, their 24/7 misgendering of me has to wear one down eventually (not that my regular family is much better in regards to any of that~)... ofc, that literally happens with basically everyone all the time anyways so ugh~ :( Being alone is miserable. Working is miserable. Being around others (not with because I'm not that fortunate~ :/) is miserable. Life is miserable~ :(

 

[tooBadTooLate]

Going on vacation seems to make the ideation less pronounced for me, but I can understand. Maybe it's just getting away from the source of my stress for me, or something like that, or maybe that I feel actually anonymous when on vacation—I won't be there for long, but it's good to be whatever vague definition of myself alone.

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

It depends on the kind of vacation. When I am lying on the beach most of the time I have so much time to let my mind flow and that leads to ideation.

 

[bankai]

I don't get suicidal on vacations, but I've considered going on a vacation just to suicide.

Especially when I see some of the people on these partner threads posting. I sometimes have considered visiting and making a vacation out of it before meeting them to catch the bus.

 

[EternalShore]

It depends on the kind of vacation. When I am lying on the beach most of the time I have so much time to let my mind flow and that leads to ideation.

I'm sorry to hear, Gustav~ :( I've noticed that I've had the same problem where when my brain isn't occupied, I'll get sewer slidal too~ >_< including when I exercise, as if the physical pain wasn't bad enough~ :/ it sucks that you have the same issue in that regard too! :(

 

[ElTopo]

I didn't feel more suicidal per se but this year was the fullest one I've ever had in terms of vacation. I went to Budapest for 4 days, came back home and then left again to go to a summer house where a friend was, I was there two days and immediately wanted to go home, I used to love it there two or three years ago.
All of this just made me realise how emotionless I've grown to be. I don't feel any joy, excitement, fun or awe. There's literally nothing I look forward to.