Venting Useless human

[ScaredCutter]

im so useless, growing up i didnt do many things for myself because of how i was raised, i technically had it easier than most because my parents (mostly my mum) would do most things for her children but, when growing up those habits still stayed with me. I can dress myself, brush my teeth, wash myself and such basic things but i lack so much motivation and rely on her to do things like washing my hair, brushing my hair, turning on a shower, making my food/drink, my dad taking me to school, relying on my mum in situations where i need to speak (doctors).

I'm honestly so hopeless and useless, i try to look at the brighter side because atleast im not like my 15yo brother who still acts like a toddler and can hardly do anything for himself (hes purposely like this and refuses to do anything). but, im always wishing i could do more for myself, i lack so much motivation and energy, even if i take classes on food education, having a dietitian with my eating habit and behaviour, something to help with my social anxiety, going out freely and whatever else. i complain about how i cant do much for myself and i just feel miserable because of it, im probably overracting. i cant tell what my situation is like for me because growing up, my dad mostly told me that "you have this and that", "you get this even when x, y, z..." and "i have ptsd so... [downplaying how i feel]". i only say im lazy because i have no other way of viewing it, i told my mum about it before but, all i can do is cry, im only seen as lazy and unwilling to try anything.

i cant admit to how many times i shower per week or how many times i brush my teeth because its just so embarrasing, i get put down by it from my parents anyways. i get told how easy it is to do the things i cant do because of i lack so much motivation and energy. i get told i dont even try or that im just not willing to give anything a go. i've tried cooking before from a class in year 8 (a lot of lessons and hands on work), ive tried brushinhg my hair and washing it but i always failed, i dont understand what quantity to use for shampoo and conditioner. i just stay in my bedroom often, i go to school when i have to and i just play on my computer or phone. i have no irl friends.

i dont know why id keep going when im just losing the ability to do anything. i wanna learn the drums, get a certif in animal studies, work with cats, meet up with my boyfriend and become somewhat financially stable. but i cant even reach those goals, whats the point on moving forward when u cant even make an ounce of progress???

its such a joke, im 18 and im expected to atleast do everything myself and wouldnt need to rely on my parents unless i really had to. i turn 19 in december. idk what itd be like once im 20

 

[Mothz]

Reading this has brought me some sort of comfort knowing I'm not the only one. I am ridiculed by my parents for not being "my age" and doing things properly for myself. I have so many ambitions yet feel stuck in cement and unable to go further with them, every time I try to do something to develop further in life--whether it be learn a new hobby or attempt to learn something--I feel nothing, no dopamine, no happiness, just the physical feeling that it's being done. No friends and feeling hopeless is something that has perpetuated my life for the longest. It almost feels like starting a race after everyone's nearly finished, if you understand what I mean? I ask for help and I am met with laughter or confusion, or being told that what I need help with isnt a problem if they feel like pushing me aside intentionally.

 

[ScaredCutter]

Reading this has brought me some sort of comfort knowing I'm not the only one. I am ridiculed by my parents for not being "my age" and doing things properly for myself. I have so many ambitions yet feel stuck in cement and unable to go further with them, every time I try to do something to develop further in life--whether it be learn a new hobby or attempt to learn something--I feel nothing, no dopamine, no happiness, just the physical feeling that it's being done. No friends and feeling hopeless is something that has perpetuated my life for the longest. It almost feels like starting a race after everyone's nearly finished, if you understand what I mean? I ask for help and I am met with laughter or confusion, or being told that what I need help with isnt a problem if they feel like pushing me aside intentionally.

im glad this brings comfort to you, ive always felt alone in this because people frown upon it a lot even those who are supposed to be ur parents. to me, im always confused on why people can only sympathise with those who struggle with it but only with those who have like serve depression, bedridden, wheelchair bound and such (which i completely understand) but, when you arent somebody who is like that, youre just met with disappointment like u "never tried in life" or "didnt try hard enough".

 

[Mothz]

im glad this brings comfort to you, ive always felt alone in this because people frown upon it a lot even those who are supposed to be ur parents. to me, im always confused on why people can only sympathise with those who struggle with it but only with those who have like serve depression, bedridden, wheelchair bound and such (which i completely understand) but, when you arent somebody who is like that, youre just met with disappointment like u "never tried in life" or "didnt try hard enough".

Yeah. My parents had every warning sign. I had been telling them I wanted to kill myself since I was 9. Coming up on a decade straight up this. Have tried begging them to take me for a mental diagnosis of any form and my dad throws it out the window because he thinks I have no problems so therefore I possibly could not in any way have anything wrong with me. Mental health is treated like it's nothing. The mentally challenged are nothing more than a joke to those born superior to me and it makes me cry often.

 

[cursedlife]

a lot of what you said resonate with me ,I remember before I had schizophrenia I was ambitious and I had a job but now I'm just depressed most of the time and I don't find enjoyment in anything I do , I'm a neet I can barely shower and brush my teeth and now I'm a 27 years old loser that didn't do anything interesting since diagnosis ,I also hate my life and I wish I get a fatal disease , I hate how most peaceful ctb methods are impossible to do now .

 

[GrayShadow]

im so useless, growing up i didnt do many things for myself because of how i was raised, i technically had it easier than most because my parents (mostly my mum) would do most things for her children but, when growing up those habits still stayed with me. I can dress myself, brush my teeth, wash myself and such basic things but i lack so much motivation and rely on her to do things like washing my hair, brushing my hair, turning on a shower, making my food/drink, my dad taking me to school, relying on my mum in situations where i need to speak (doctors).

I'm honestly so hopeless and useless, i try to look at the brighter side because atleast im not like my 15yo brother who still acts like a toddler and can hardly do anything for himself (hes purposely like this and refuses to do anything). but, im always wishing i could do more for myself, i lack so much motivation and energy, even if i take classes on food education, having a dietitian with my eating habit and behaviour, something to help with my social anxiety, going out freely and whatever else. i complain about how i cant do much for myself and i just feel miserable because of it, im probably overracting. i cant tell what my situation is like for me because growing up, my dad mostly told me that "you have this and that", "you get this even when x, y, z..." and "i have ptsd so... [downplaying how i feel]". i only say im lazy because i have no other way of viewing it, i told my mum about it before but, all i can do is cry, im only seen as lazy and unwilling to try anything.

i cant admit to how many times i shower per week or how many times i brush my teeth because its just so embarrasing, i get put down by it from my parents anyways. i get told how easy it is to do the things i cant do because of i lack so much motivation and energy. i get told i dont even try or that im just not willing to give anything a go. i've tried cooking before from a class in year 8 (a lot of lessons and hands on work), ive tried brushinhg my hair and washing it but i always failed, i dont understand what quantity to use for shampoo and conditioner. i just stay in my bedroom often, i go to school when i have to and i just play on my computer or phone. i have no irl friends.

i dont know why id keep going when im just losing the ability to do anything. i wanna learn the drums, get a certif in animal studies, work with cats, meet up with my boyfriend and become somewhat financially stable. but i cant even reach those goals, whats the point on moving forward when u cant even make an ounce of progress???

its such a joke, im 18 and im expected to atleast do everything myself and wouldnt need to rely on my parents unless i really had to. i turn 19 in december. idk what itd be like once im 20

I'm glad I could find this, and I really relate to it. I feel like I don't act my age, and that I'm really not doing anything in my life compared to everyone else. I've pretty much just been surviving day to day, since I really didn't expect to live this far ahead. The days just flew by and suddenly I was 20 and had done nothing in my life. Now I'm still looking for a method, and everything is just too hard to do. It feels hopeless in its own way.