Venting Used to Cringe at the Heartbroken Here, Now I Am One of You

[Celerity]

I made it to 31 without falling in love. I could not relate to the threads I read on here where people shared how heartbroken they were from being rejected or abandoned by a romantic interest. Empathy only came in the abstract, and I usually moved on quickly from these posts.

It's been almost 6 months now since she ghosted me without warning.

I've been rejected before and ghosted countless times. Before, my ego took a huge hit. That was bad enough. I felt I was unlovable at times.

With this latest hurt, I don't feel that way at all. I don't hate myself. I see my value even if she doesn't. Instead, it's just pure loss. I miss her so much. I can't believe how much I really loved her.

The ghost of her comes for me when I sleep. I imagine what it would be like to hold her as I drift off and as I wake up in the morning. This feels like a slow death, like I can't even fully experience my new life with the memory of her weighing on me as it does.

I don't know if I will ever feel as deeply for another person as I do her (or who I thought she was). If I will, it doesn't matter to me somehow. I would take her back in a heartbreak, giving up the opportunity of a better match. How fucked up is that?

 

[rekt]

How long were you together and how serious was the relationship? I mean had you discussed future plans like marriage and children?

 

[bankai]

The ghost of her comes for me when I sleep

Damn dude. I have a vague idea about how you're feeling. I'm so sorry. Sometimes I get up when I'm sleeping and I think about someone who died.

And I know a few of them . They do haunt you.

I know that is different from what you're going through. But it's also similar. Especially when someone ghosts you completely. It's almost the same as them dying.