Venting Update status

[Nx7]

Because of not taking my meds abroad I lost it all. Since I've been back to hell here it is my update:

Haven't bathed for over 25 days
Not brushing my teeth regularly
Can't eat properly
Jumping for hours (because of anxiety) and gradually destroying my legs
All day long inside dark room
Wakes up randomly in the middle of the night sweating and screaming and realize I am back to a shithole place
Not a lot of hope or any plans
Still haven't got SN
No friends
Family found my letter and keeping an eye on me
Tried partial hanging many times (succeeded at going unconscious but SI always kick in)

I feel I gotta step up and get the SN before they put me in a clinic or something.

 

[Old Friend]

Sorry to hear. Good luck with the SN. Hopefully you're not in the UK.

 

[Nx7]

Sorry to hear. Good luck with the SN. Hopefully you're not in the UK.

I'm not. But still not entirely sure if SN will be possible. I'm in South America. Real HELL. Believe me.

 

[certified_idiot]

Sounds like shit. I hope things get better for you, in life or in death.

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be really dreadful what you are going through, I really do hate how it's so unnecessarily difficult to be permanently free from this cruel existence. But anyway best wishes.

 

[Meditation guide]

I'm not. But still not entirely sure if SN will be possible. I'm in South America. Real HELL. Believe me.

I hope somehow you manage a way out. You have my sympathy!