Venting unworthy

[Renv1o_]

i've always had low mood and terrible anxiety, but lately, it's horrendous.

friends, media, books, used to be a brief escape from everything terrible i felt, but now i can't spend time with loved ones without thinking of how unworthy i am of being loved.
i read books and think of how things wont turn out so well for me, as they do for the characters.
or, when i try to make art, i think of how the practice is pointless in the long run. im constantly crying, even in public, and i go home overstimulated and humiliated by the end of the day- i dont know what's wrong with me and why i cant stop picking apart the things i love.
im realising that it doesn't matter how much i love those around me and want to be a part of things- the problem is me. im the wrong shape for the world, even if i do have so much i wanted to do and love.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

How is the problem you ??

Maybe you should try therapy and a therapist will help you to navigate these feelings of self hate.

I hope you find peace with what you are going through and I hope one day you will know that you are worthy to receive the love that you give to other people.

 

[Renv1o_]

How is the problem you ??

Maybe you should try therapy and a therapist will help you to navigate these feelings of self hate.

I hope you find peace with what you are going through and I hope one day you will know that you are worthy to receive the love that you give to other people.

i had been in therapy for so long, on and off- but it didnt get me anywhere.

the problem lies with me because i just cannot fit into how all the systems in the world work. im 18, and have fallen in and out of mainstream education so often due to my mental health. i crumble under pressure, get burnt out super easily and struggle to maintain healthy connections.
my body and brain just cannot keep up with the typical routine and expectations put onto me- and i promise i have tried extremely hard to 'toughen up' too, but it just seems to drive me further into burnouts.

i appreciate you being so kind, but i cannot keep up with those my age and continuously disappoint those around me.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

You are certainly worth to be loved!

i had been in therapy for so long, on and off- but it didnt get me anywhere.

the problem lies with me because i just cannot fit into how all the systems in the world work. im 18, and have fallen in and out of mainstream education so often due to my mental health. i crumble under pressure, get burnt out super easily and struggle to maintain healthy connections.
my body and brain just cannot keep up with the typical routine and expectations put onto me- and i promise i have tried extremely hard to 'toughen up' too, but it just seems to drive me further into burnouts.

i appreciate you being so kind, but i cannot keep up with those my age and continuously disappoint those around me.

I'm sorry that life causes you so much suffering. But at least you know the reason for your sufferings and that would be a point to start from, to make changes there. Unfortunately I have no idea how to help here but I'm sure that you can find a way. I wish you all the best.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think it's true that some people just aren't meant for existing here, but it must be tiring and awful what you have to go through, there really is no real relief from suffering in this world. But anyway I wish you the best.