Venting Unsupportive Peers/Partners

[beetle]

I have a tendency to struggle with emoting how I feel to others, especially to my partner and my family. I never feel heard or understood by them and it almost feels like I'm not allowed to feel frustrated when I suggest to them what they're doing isn't helping.

I was crying to my partner on the phone earlier and talking about my worries, and although I know he was trying to help it just wasn't making me feel better, so he gave up and called me mean because I'm 'pushing him away'. I don't understand what I did wrong for him to get upset at me, I needed his advice but all he does is give me face-value sentiments like what the hotlines give you... I can't deal with it anymore; I feel guilty for even asking for help and as much as I've told him the type of support I want, I never feel better.

I know I'm in a privileged position to have these people in my life but in all honesty it feels even more isolating having friends/family that don't ever really support you. I think I'd rather just be completely alone at this point.
Maybe I'm the problem, I just want a personal connection where someone can understand me. I hope I'm not alone in feeling this way.

 

[bipbapbop]

I am in the same place. There is no one in my life who is not extremely invalidating no matter how much they love me. I think it's a combination of most people not really knowing how to handle such difficult situations and also (for myself) needing to hear an extremely specific thing to feel comforted and validated. I'm sorry you are feeling this pain, it is unbelievably isolating.

 

[Lynx.]

Most people only offer empty platitudes and shallow words when it comes to serious matters such as these.

It's not necessarily their fault, since most people are not ready or do not have the emotional awareness and patience to have such complicated conversations, but I also think that there's a level of negligence when it comes to not attenting to the needs of their partners, friends or children.

I tend to shut myself in wherever I'm feeling awful, and I rarely confide in anyone, since I'm always met with invalidating statements or surface-level advice, just like you. It's awful to not have someone with whom you can be open and honest, but it's worse when you are met with misunderstandings and anger when trying to explain how you feel.

It would be nice to be fully open to my family and friends, but I just can't see it happening ever.

I'm sorry you have to go through the same things with your partner - they sound kind of insensitive and although I'm sure they care about you, in this case didn't attend to your needs at all, and were more concerned about how your feelings made them feel instead of how you are. It happens, I suppose that these situations come with being alive and all of that crap, but it sucks so much.

Many hugs to you.

 

[LunarLight]

I'm so sorry. Unfortunately, many people don't know how to tackle such issues as suicidal ideation. It's not necessarily your partner's fault, but you clearly needed support and he couldn't offer it to you.
Don't forget we're here if you need support. We'll always be here.
Virtual hugs.

 

[beetle]

I am in the same place. There is no one in my life who is not extremely invalidating no matter how much they love me. I think it's a combination of most people not really knowing how to handle such difficult situations and also (for myself) needing to hear an extremely specific thing to feel comforted and validated. I'm sorry you are feeling this pain, it is unbelievably isolating.

I'm sorry to hear that, I hope at the very least that you can find some solace in this forum; it's very reassuring knowing that there are other people like us struggling, at least to me :)

Most people only offer empty platitudes and shallow words when it comes to serious matters such as these.

It's not necessarily their fault, since most people are not ready or do not have the emotional awareness and patience to have such complicated conversations, but I also think that there's a level of negligence when it comes to not attenting to the needs of their partners, friends or children.

I tend to shut myself in wherever I'm feeling awful, and I rarely confide in anyone, since I'm always met with invalidating statements or surface-level advice, just like you. It's awful to not have someone with whom you can be open and honest, but it's worse when you are met with misunderstandings and anger when trying to explain how you feel.

It would be nice to be fully open to my family and friends, but I just can't see it happening ever.

I'm sorry you have to go through the same things with your partner - they sound kind of insensitive and although I'm sure they care about you, in this case didn't attend to your needs at all, and were more concerned about how your feelings made them feel instead of how you are. It happens, I suppose that these situations come with being alive and all of that crap, but it sucks so much.

Many hugs to you.

I used to shut myself in a lot especially when growing up, but I've tried to be more open in the past couple years in hopes it'll help with my recovery. It's really hard and it's times like where I mentioned in my original post that it feels like it's not worth it, but if it's something you're comfortable with, it's nice to talk to someone in your life about what's going on (even if it's just a little).
Thank you for your kind words, I know he cares, but yeah it's frustrating when people always make it about themselves when it never is! I hope I can get that through to him someday haha

 

[bipbapbop]

I'm sorry to hear that, I hope at the very least that you can find some solace in this forum; it's very reassuring knowing that there are other people like us struggling, at least to me :)

Yes, I've found this forum to be such a great source of comfort because people here seem to understand certain things so much better than people in the real world. Theres so much less judgement about my struggles and pain when I share them