Venting Ultimately, I'm probably gonna ctb

[Squiddy]

I really don't see any other options for me. I dropped out of my college because my depression and other mental health issues were getting in the way and making me sleep sometimes as much as 16 hours and I can't find any jobs that work with my cognitive issues and make a decent amount to move out. I would get on disability again, but I didn't make much on it and couldn't move out. My disordered eating is also acting up and I've lost 4 lbs in 3 days (mostly by walking a lot from my job and not really eating).

I'm also pretty sure I'm going to lose my job in the next couple of weeks/months as I was written up for my 2nd time along with a few others for not stocking fast enough.

I'm also pretty sure my therapist is tired of me and not seeing really any progress.

Some of my friends tell me it'll get better, but all its done is get worse.

I'm just too fucked up for this world. I felt like screaming at work, but that would've looked weird. I'm a ticking time bomb at this point. It's not a matter of how I'll ctb, but what date and when my SI lowers to where I can finally ctb and be at peace.

 

[CTB Dream]

Sorry know no option this life ful problem many mental people not understand. Aldo artificial society job system not match bio body bio body need sleep other thing normal environment not society job. This all world nonsense human force suffer real sorry

 

[MeriDeath]

I feel you squiddy ❤
Cant tell you if things are gonna get better as I am going through the same pain exactly.
But eventually, something will happen. Hopefully. You will a way.

 

[FuneralCry]

It does sound very tiring what you are going through and I do get that it can be so awful being trapped in a situation that is just endless suffering with no real relief. Your feelings of wishing to be gone from this world are understandable, I hope that you find freedom for when the time is right for you to leave.

 

[ncmxm]

Sorry I know it's kinda an old post but I wanted to say I'm in a very similar situation, I also dropped out of uni because of depression, because of this and because of my mental health I can't get any good jobs, I'm not performing well at my current job

I don't know what to do but I wanted to say you're not alone