Trying to wait

[-nobodyknows-]

I really hope something happens that will help me feel better. I think that meeting someone who is okay with listening to me talk about my pain and being around when I am having destructive feelings would really help. In the past it always helped so much.

But people can't deal with it. I know it must be incredibly distressing to hear someone talk about how much they detest themselves and want to end things. But I really need to hear someone say that things will be okay and that they will be there.

And… it's been so long already. If I knew for sure that on a specific date things would be better maybe it would be easier to buckle down and weather the storm. But it seems endless. Especially when you have medical people that have said things probably won't improve.

I am so weak. Please find me and save me.

 

[killmesoftly]

I feel this so so deeply. I wish I wasn't so fucked up myself so I could try to help you or others like you and be that person.