By now I have smoked a few times DMT on low to mid doses & one time I completely dove in and had a breakthrough. I cant fully describe how wicked and fascinating these experiences were.
Especially the breakthrough was mindblowing, I died during the trip but was then an immaterial observer. I had no body, I was not breathing, I just witnessed and experienced while eyes closed. I was floating in pitch-black nothingness when jellyfish-like rainbow-colored cacti (closest term i could describe it with) appeared in the distance & I also received a body once again but it was also very jellyfish-like.
I was completely transparent and translucent. I could not feel my body, but I could only see it due to my bodyoutlines made out of very bright white-blueish light that was shining very intensively (except for the jellyfish cacti I was the only source of light in...well wherever I was, I dont know) and in both my kneejoints there was an immensely bright ball of white light.
Then somewhere in the black distance outlines of humanoid shapes were visible. It was only the outlines visible so there was a lot of imagination by myself going on. There were several shapes/persons/entities now and they came from the front and then passed me (I was pretty shocked and scared at that moment so I barely moved because I was really scared) and were waiting right behind me with their faces like 0.5 or 1m away from the back of my head. They suddenly all started to speak to me but I could not understand a thing because it were some strange hissing snake sounds that they made. In between it also sounded like a rattlesnake shaking their tail. They were hissing or "talking" directly into my two ears from behind - all at once and without a break. I then felt dozens of hands covering every square centimetre of my body and sort of stroking/rubbing me.
Whoever they were, they were super friendly and benevolent and I even felt that there is no danger coming from them at all. But my brain was just shocked and couldnt comprehend what was happening (that is my explanation so far) and I brought all this fear and anxiety from my brain going like "what the hell is this, this is too weird to not be dangerous, this has to be dangerous, omg this is super dangerous, these shapes will now soon kill you from behind etc...". I got a hard reality check when I opened my eyes after around 5-8 minutes & was so glad to recognize my friend sitting in front of me on the bed and then I suddenly realized with overwhelming happiness that I had finally returned to this dimension, to this room, to this bed with me and my buddy on it.
For now I basically put all of my separate suicide plans on ice, I wanna finish my masters degree, I wanna continue my roadcycling addiction (which decreased my drug consumption by a huge amount), I wanna experiment more with DMT in all sorts of forms. Something has changed since that breakthroug. It is not like I am a crazy person now (at least not crazier than before be assured) but my head, my mind, my brain somehow feels different. It feels like I had a giant brain sneeze and I am feeling weirdly clear in my head. It has been almost 2 weeks since that first and only breakthrough for me so far and I am preparing for my next journey in maybe 2-3 weeks.
I would highly recommend everyone experiences DMT before they permanently loose the capability of using DMT by catching the bus, because boy oh boy DMT itself is a proper bus that - if you catch it - will transport you completely out of this world (if you smoke enough) and lets you see life and your mind/brain/head and connection to your body in new ways without the severe side-effect of you being dead after catching the regular bus.
Sorry for the long post, actually I tried to keep it quite minimal! Hugs & love to all of you, any%.