Venting tried to sleep but now im spiraling 🎉

[Renv1o_]

im such a failure- i genuinely dont know how to exist. seriously, how do people get out of bed in the morning?
there's so much to think about all of the time and i just want to escape it all and hide away from the rest of the world. i cant keep up with those around me and, as time goes on, i find myself caring less and less. im scared of tomorrow and i dont even know why!!!!! i dont wanna wake up tomorrow. i dont want to have to exist. every day is a fucking performance.

"try harder. it'll get easier over time!"
when? im bored of this constant dread and anxiety. if im not numb, im freaking out over something that literally does not matter!!!! when does this shit get easier??? im sick of being told to do more, to keep pushing, if not for myself, then for others. i hate it.

i really don't want to do tomorrow.

 

[Sleeper System]

im such a failure- i genuinely dont know how to exist. seriously, how do people get out of bed in the morning?
there's so much to think about all of the time and i just want to escape it all and hide away from the rest of the world. i cant keep up with those around me and, as time goes on, i find myself caring less and less. im scared of tomorrow and i dont even know why!!!!! i dont wanna wake up tomorrow. i dont want to have to exist. every day is a fucking performance.

"try harder. it'll get easier over time!"
when? im bored of this constant dread and anxiety. if im not numb, im freaking out over something that literally does not matter!!!! when does this shit get easier??? im sick of being told to do more, to keep pushing, if not for myself, then for others. i hate it.

i really don't want to do tomorrow.

You aren't alone. I'm late to work every day because It's so hard just getting out of bed.
I convince myself that I need money to stay as miserble yet comfortable as possible.
I can't imagine being really broke and also depressed. I would have to end it. No choice. I'm not that strong anymore to start from the bottom again.

Depression is the only wound that time can't heal. Makes it worse actually. Ironic.