I stopped using A&E after May 2022 after the manner in which I was treated by them after an overdose - actually by the first nurse at reception. The doctors were okay when I was admitted for three days to have the antidote for the overdose. However whilst on ward, the elderly lady next to me who had dementia was treated disrespectfully by more than one nurse - again there were also nursing staff who treated her well. I vowed never to go to an A&E and have been ill since and not returned.
I had a good GP though the surgery was run line an army camp by the person who owned it. They decided to enforce the online services for anyone with medical problems last August. I told my GP that I will struggle with this for various reasons - though able to use it on behalf of family members. They were quite strict in enforcing it. I pointed out the accessibility challenge and my GP said that if the patients were unable to use IT or had a language problem, they would be exempt. If I thought that mine was a real emergency, I can call in. Otherwise the rule was the same for everyone - regardless of DDA, disabilities, neurodivergence etc. I basically disengaged from the servuce after having various conversations with them.and stopped taking all my medication at the beginning of September 2023.
CMHT - initially lost my file in 2022 when the GP was desperately trying to get me help. They had not responded to the referral. I had overdosed by May 2022 and GP, hospital etc were all contacting CMHT and they were not responding. I wrote to my local GP and suddenly CMHT found my file, became aware of my existence and contacted me. Started therapy with an excellent clinical psychologist - complex PTSD, suicidal ideation, flashbacks, nightmares, dissociation etc. Had 47 sessions and was told.in January 2024 that I had 8bsessions left and was offered to be referred to the trauma clinic in Tavistock. I declined the 8 sessions - feeling suicidal, 8 sessions was not going to make a difference. So I asked them to take me off their system. Had a psychiatrist who gate crashed, spoke over me and I did not find her to be good. Anyway to cut a long story short, I asked the clinical psychologist to refer me to Tavistock and that I would like to finish the 8 sessions. She came back to advise me that I will have to engage with the GP (they knew that I had disengaged from GP as soon as it happened) and also the crisis team and then only they can offer the 8 sessions over a 8 month period - the reason they wanted me to engage with other services was because of the suicidal ideation and my repeated attempts to overdosing and not seeking medical treatment. I turned this down as I have problems trusting different people, found crisis team not to be helpful in the past and had already established accessibility challenges with accessing GP services - what they were asking me do is a bit like asking someone without any form of legs or ability to walk to run up 10 flights of stairs and then parachute down without a parachute so I am not on a waiting list to be seen by Tavistock which apparently has a two year waiting list. I have now set a date to die and not shored this with anyone (other than this forum) and might or might not live past that date.
There are a lot of people who care and do an excellent job within the NHS and I applaud them - and do under very difficult circumstances where they have no control over cutbacks, lack of support etc. However as in all.professions, there are also eople who are jobsworths and who do a terrible job and who cause untold suffering and when we use NHS service, we are more likely to be vulnerable anyway and when we come across the people who are terrible at their jobs, who are abusive, insensitive etc - it makes it worse for us. If I end up dying on my set date, it would have been 100% avoidable and due to the NHS failing to deliver their services appropriately, sensitively and reasonably and I wonder how many patients/people die unnecessarily due to the lack of professional NHS care or the cutbacks and how many families and children suffer as a result. It is sad though as it is a good system in theory and have a lot of respect to those who genuinely work within it and genuinely care - that goes for all public service and public/civil servants.
