CTB attempt #1 on my birthday.
I don't know how I'll do it as I'm scared of even thinking of moving and im always overdosed on xanax as a junkie.
My life is over and everything left is falling apart. I'm afraid police will soon take me away or i'll get kicked out of the house or I won't be able to take the physical pain anymore or I'll have a mental breakdown or my pills iwll run out(they will in a week, and i can't allow that to happen cause my life will be worse than over).
Trains run all day but i'm exhausted just from walking and endless illness. I'll try to lie on the tracks or jump in front in worse or in the worst case scenario stand on the tracks at a place a decent bit away from the station. Trains for some reason seem slow here even though when i ride them they get up to 100 km/h according to the meters inside them. And i'm worried about cow catchers or however these things in front are called but i got no choice and no time.
If i don't CTB life will kill me in a week maximum. Tears are already forming in my eyes from the pain i'm enduring all day long every day.
I would pray to satan to help me but i don't believe there is anything here that can help me end my misery as i've been suffering too long.
I don't know how I'll do it as I'm scared of even thinking of moving and im always overdosed on xanax as a junkie.
My life is over and everything left is falling apart. I'm afraid police will soon take me away or i'll get kicked out of the house or I won't be able to take the physical pain anymore or I'll have a mental breakdown or my pills iwll run out(they will in a week, and i can't allow that to happen cause my life will be worse than over).
Trains run all day but i'm exhausted just from walking and endless illness. I'll try to lie on the tracks or jump in front in worse or in the worst case scenario stand on the tracks at a place a decent bit away from the station. Trains for some reason seem slow here even though when i ride them they get up to 100 km/h according to the meters inside them. And i'm worried about cow catchers or however these things in front are called but i got no choice and no time.
If i don't CTB life will kill me in a week maximum. Tears are already forming in my eyes from the pain i'm enduring all day long every day.
I would pray to satan to help me but i don't believe there is anything here that can help me end my misery as i've been suffering too long.
