notevenhere
Ghost Angel
- Apr 27, 2023
- 148
it's so suffocating to keep believing men and their lies. they'd say something like they would save me or provide for me, i even thought about joining /aan/ on 4chan but they attack vulnerable young girls to become their rape slaves. but really they're just after my body. they say they'll save you, take u out of an abusive household. when theyre emotionally abusive on their own. i should have known better trusting a 35 year old going after someone younger than him plus the financial gap. like what am i doing with my life? should i just run away and move to japan and be homeless there? should i move out, go into a different city and die there?
i should know better that a man can never save me, that i need to know hot to make money on my own but every job that has honor requires a college diploma and im a high school graduate. i cant even apply to mcdonalds or bag groceries bc im lacking the paperwork and i don't have any friends that can even drive me or commute me there bc my mom always said no friends in her home or you cant go meet up with people online, i feel like im imprisoned in my own room and my own body bc thats all men see me: a sex toy. i am walking around the world like a headless chicken.
i see other people making it out there alive, most of my friends ran away from home as soon as they could and started from lvl1 but they are competent. i am not. im sickly with disabilities, maybe my real path really is just to die.
i cant even rant to any of my friends here on discord, all of them are some form of men that secretly is after one thing one way or another. or theyll confess eventually. is it the way i carry myself? did i ask for this? why did i have to be born and have a shitty mom with no dad? why is sex work the only viable option for broken girls? i dont get it. and when i go online, everyone say women have life on easy mode. but women have an expiration date. and women still need to be thin and pretty enough, if youre not, you work a dead end office job and make minimum. im not asking for a lot, or am i?
its not like im not trying to make good money with clean means, i apply and i apply and i apply and i get rejected. its been years, im not a minor anymore. i dont look like im 15, either. i cant even attract pedophiles. did i wish to be brought into this world to be csa'd by my stepdad and my mom not believing me? when i was like, 15 i was excited to tell my mom i had a gf and im gay and she was like no youre not and thats when i realized that i have no one here. to be fair, im lucky for you and every other clients i met when i was doing sex work. you know? but its primarly my fault for being this weight. my own self prophecy came true, i really have no value unless i am pretty.
nobody told me what to do once a woman walks into their expiration date. i guess it's to die, right?
ive been listening to toy by takayan on repeat. u guys should try listening to it. w the lyrics on youtube.
i should know better that a man can never save me, that i need to know hot to make money on my own but every job that has honor requires a college diploma and im a high school graduate. i cant even apply to mcdonalds or bag groceries bc im lacking the paperwork and i don't have any friends that can even drive me or commute me there bc my mom always said no friends in her home or you cant go meet up with people online, i feel like im imprisoned in my own room and my own body bc thats all men see me: a sex toy. i am walking around the world like a headless chicken.
i see other people making it out there alive, most of my friends ran away from home as soon as they could and started from lvl1 but they are competent. i am not. im sickly with disabilities, maybe my real path really is just to die.
i cant even rant to any of my friends here on discord, all of them are some form of men that secretly is after one thing one way or another. or theyll confess eventually. is it the way i carry myself? did i ask for this? why did i have to be born and have a shitty mom with no dad? why is sex work the only viable option for broken girls? i dont get it. and when i go online, everyone say women have life on easy mode. but women have an expiration date. and women still need to be thin and pretty enough, if youre not, you work a dead end office job and make minimum. im not asking for a lot, or am i?
its not like im not trying to make good money with clean means, i apply and i apply and i apply and i get rejected. its been years, im not a minor anymore. i dont look like im 15, either. i cant even attract pedophiles. did i wish to be brought into this world to be csa'd by my stepdad and my mom not believing me? when i was like, 15 i was excited to tell my mom i had a gf and im gay and she was like no youre not and thats when i realized that i have no one here. to be fair, im lucky for you and every other clients i met when i was doing sex work. you know? but its primarly my fault for being this weight. my own self prophecy came true, i really have no value unless i am pretty.
nobody told me what to do once a woman walks into their expiration date. i guess it's to die, right?
ive been listening to toy by takayan on repeat. u guys should try listening to it. w the lyrics on youtube.
