
Meditation guide
Always was, is, and always shall be.
- Jun 22, 2020
- 6,082
This site has people with very severe mental illnesses, who don't always know how to act or say things politely.
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The issue here isn't infiltrators. There's a significant minority of genuine members who are not exactly fluffy, and the community has a difficult choice of allowing them and their brand of suicidality at the expense of a more hostile environment, or expelling them and making this place a censored hugbox.
This site has people with very severe mental illnesses, who don't always know how to act or say things politely.
They need to learn to use harmless sarcasm to hide their true (truly scary) nature like you, me & our bitchboy G. Well, I'm off to work. Old men's asses won't pound themselves.
This is often bothering me as well. Recently 2 forum members announced to CTB and someone straight on asked them to PM a link to their livestream. Come on.
Usually I'd comment on post/comments because…well it's the open internet, people post what they want, people respond how they want.
Bur literally the best thing to do is use the ignore/unwatch/block features.
The amount of users I've blocked/ignored is crazy high.
People sharing too much info, people saying weirdly odd shit, people asking questions that can be easily answered just by a simple search in t comments.
If you disagree with somebody, it's literally like the other person logs out of one account into another (accounts made same day lol) just to disagree with you further.
It's crazy, then again some people are too heavily invested into this place.
Some ask questions that are black or white answers that causes odd content.
Also people need to start putting off topic stuff in the off topic sub, not the suicide sub lol
Tldr: make use of block/ignore feature.
Happened to me as a new user when I was outlining the pain of having to pack up my deceased sister's house whilst feeling suicidal myself. I explained that clearing her house with my family was traumatic, causing flashbacks and exacerbating my desire to CTB when my family certainly did not need two funerals to plan within a month! So I just spoke about how the impact of this made me determined to pack my own house up beforehand so my family didn't have to go through this again. The backlash from one user was immediate and did leave me wondering whether this was the site for me. I simply do not understand this need to be so combative. When I followed the other posts of this individual - same thing - almost bullying tbh. In future should this individual respond to any of my posts, I will simply ignore them. I wish there was a block function.Note I'm not talking about specific individuals in this topic, but rather about the general environment on this forum.
There has been some toxicity on this forum since I joined, but I feel like this is only increasing over time. While it may be a controversial topic to discuss (and I hope people can keep it civil in their responses), but I feel it's something that needs to be addressed. I will show two recent examples and the second one is the actual reason I'm creating this topic.
1) The goodbye topic of a user who announced she would be using her N. For those who did not read it, I'll summarize: she poured out her N and was ready to drink it, but her SI took over and she didn't manage to do it. Perfectly reasonable. While there has been a lot of support for her, the topic is also full of people questioning her, being judgemental and accusing her just of asking for attention. Wow. Just wow. This is a clearly vulnerable person who's in a lot of pain, yet some people feel like it's acceptable to start behaving like this.
2) Related to that topic is the case of @Octavina. In the topic above, she asked if she could have the unused N. Obviously, this question is not appropiate at all. In the next posts, people pointed this out to her in a rather harsh way. A few minutes later, she created her own goodbye topic, announcing she just took SN impulsively. From what it looks like based on her last posts, this incident may have been the final trigger for her. This is a really sad story.
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/taking-sn-now.71772/
(As someone pointed out in this topic, Octavina showed toxic behavior in that topic as well, on which people obviously responded quite harsh. My intention is not to let anyone feel guilty here, but rather address the atmosphere sometimes occuring on this forum.)
Especially this second example is what let me write this post. I get it, we're not always in a good mood to say the least. Still, maybe we (yes, that includes myself) should reflect on how and what we post. We're all vulnerable people here, for many of us this is the last place to go, hoping to find people understanding us. This place shoud be a welcoming place, and while it often is, toxic behavior is ruining it sometimes.
I know exactly what I did & why I did it. You think you won because people can still read your self-incriminating comment, genius?Yeah but before you reported me and got the post removed you quoted it, which means it's still there.
yes, I hate reading a goodbye thread and people posting selfish questions. I would want the comfort of knowing that if I choose to make a goodbye thread on the forum that it would be focused on me and words of peace and not interrupted by self centered humans. just stay off the thread if you aren't there to give good bye wishes of peace or just be there.I find some responses a bit too nonchalant, like asking technical questions or derailing to own story on a goodbye post, not the right place. A person's life is ending in front of us after all.
Really stupid question but I'm going to ask anyway... how do you tell the difference? I'm driven by emotion and if I happen to identify with someone's emotions through their perception, then I sometimes reach out.I just want to add that sometimes people come across as toxic even though they don't mean to be, like maybe they don't have much social experience or suck at communicating.
Though, there has definitely been genuine toxicity (a lot of it), and some people join this site just to troll because they don't like that it exists.
It's just important that these 2 don't get mixed up.![]()
I guess if there's a pattern of toxicity with someone then that's how you know, but if it's just a post or two that you've seen with that behavior it could be a misunderstanding.Really stupid question but I'm going to ask anyway... how do you tell the difference? I'm driven by emotion and if I happen to identify with someone's emotions through their perception, then I sometimes reach out.
How do you tell on forums who is for real?
Really stupid question but I'm going to ask anyway... how do you tell the difference? I'm driven by emotion and if I happen to identify with someone's emotions through their perception, then I sometimes reach out.
How do you tell on forums who is for real?
Thank you very much for bringing ip the point of autism here. People dont realize how autism can make someone sound like insensitive or that they lack empathy. I struggled with the same thing too on one recent ctb with partner thread when I pointed out my frustration that a witness who was supposed to be documenting the process of their friend taking N wasnt realized and I kept whining about it and everyone pointed out how insensitive and tastless my complaints was and that makes me into a selfish prick. I apologized in the end but also explained that as an autistic it is really frustrating not to see things pan out as planned. A friend here whom i said that to dismissed it as bogus autism stuff and didnt want to believe that it is a thing and she insisted that I am showing my true colors. I had to apologize because people wont leave me alone one after the other were coming at me with all sorts of accusationsI agree and I would add that many here are socially inappropriate due to autism which has a spectrum or severe untreated BPD. In @Octavina case specifically, you could tell she was very young or (developmentally stagnant) and possible unaware of her inappropriateness. Thus she had an inappropriate response to both the thread and a strong response to those who gave her a reprimand.
Lol sorry, but the funniest thing to me is that the people who accused her of bragging or doing it all of attention; that she wasn't going to kill herself anyways etc, probably wouldn't have even been able to pour it. Suicide IS a hard thing. You are going against the most basic biological instinct ever. It is the hardest thing one can do in life. Being paralyzed by fear is not something to be ashamed of, and I'm honestly disgusted and shocked at any answers that aren't supportive in her thread, considering this is a site to offer support and resources to suicidal people.
Report people who cross the line and are assholes. Then ignore them. Reporting is what should happen. I'm surprised a few are still not banned. It clearly states in rules one must not be disrespectful.
It's so obvious how frantic and angry the beligerant people are on here. Brash and bizarre.
You're not making sense...and I suspect you are trolling...I don't care. Mocking? Huh. I'm ignoring you. This comment is jibberish and I don't need this kind of shit. I'm responding to @checkouttime They quoted my response but it's disappeared.
You're really fixated. I have every right to use descriptive words to describe someone's oddness and triggering comments. The person I refer to as brash berated someone for an unnessassary reason. They continued to spout hate and it was very obvious they didn't really read the person's comment and literally made shit up that was toxic. Do you know what brash means?whats doesn't make sense about people come here to vent who are clearly angry??your mocking them saying they are brash and bizarre. i don't think thats very nice at all.
I see alot of the fixture26 and stop SS people whining about stuff on here, there a bit late there kids have already CTB. they like to post toxic stuff , they gang up one people and claim people are angry, gang up on members and attack themas they don't like being bullied back.
I mean apart from that i don't see anything else toxic, i mean the moderators do a great job in making sure anyone who breaks the rules is warned. it just seems some members seem to think they make the rules and run the site, get over yourself i say. If you don't like it either deal with it or leaven and the other can go back to their social media mobs as they don't help anyone anyway, and get a life and get over that dead kid thats all your fault and your shit parenting they should stop blaming SS for being failures
whats doesn't make sense about people come here to vent who are clearly angry??your mocking them saying they are brash and bizarre. i don't think thats very nice at all.
I see alot of the fixture26 and stop SS people whining about stuff on here, there a bit late there kids have already CTB. they like to post toxic stuff , they gang up one people and claim people are angry, gang up on members and attack themas they don't like being bullied back.
I mean apart from that i don't see anything else toxic, i mean the moderators do a great job in making sure anyone who breaks the rules is warned. it just seems some members seem to think they make the rules and run the site, get over yourself i say. If you don't like it either deal with it or leaven and the other can go back to their social media mobs as they don't help anyone anyway, and get a life and get over that dead kid thats all your fault and your shit parenting they should stop blaming SS for being failures
At this point, you just sound like a broken record.
Chill out, mate...
Treating someone poorly because they also treated someone inappropriately is just finger pointing. You are deflecting the problem of overall toxicity that does indeed exist on this forum, as provided in the (few of many) examples by OP. Deflecting the basic human responsibility of treating each other with kindness and justifying insulting a conscious human being for any reason is the opposite of the point of this thread.Yes, this story is really sad, but, in case you missed it, @Octavina also insensitively accused an extremely vulnerable person of just bragging about having expensive N that they were never actually going to use. That is why some members got annoyed & her insulting comment was removed. I didn't say anything to @Octavina, but those who did were much more polite than her. It's not fair to make them feel guilty that she ingested SN...
You're really fixated. I have every right to use descriptive words to describe someone's oddness and triggering comments. The person I refer to as brash berated someone for an unnessassary reason. They continued to spout hate and it was very obvious they didn't really read the person's comment and literally made shit up that was toxic. Do you know what brash means?
Your comment here again is rambling. It sucks you are suicidal. I relate, however being angry and being abusive and then saying oh fyi I am not suicidal anymore I just come on here to 'help' is fucking ridiculous.
How do you know mods warn 'anyone who breaks the rules'? Harrassing suicidal people is some serious dark shit. Please stop arguing with me and my reactions to shitty people.
I feel you.Some people here really have no chill and is why I'm barely active now.
As for your presented case, I'm fortunate enough to not have encountered the post, but learning of this leaves me massively disappointed.
THIS. Precisely. I also have a sense that sometimes people that have malicious intent try to blend in as well. Hurt people do hurt people.Its a challenging issue however because this site does not represent a "normal" slice of society. As such, expectations where you'd have a balance of heavily compassionate, empathetic folks and those who have varying degrees of it including non-existent compassion may not show up in the interactions.
Thank you for this! It is a lovely guideline we should all think about before posting. It is better to not say anything than cause harm - overtly or covertly.I know it sounds like a cliche but as general rule I ask myself this before I post:
"
T – TRUE. Is what you are saying actually true, or is it 'fake news'? Lies and misinformation hurt others and reflect the liar as someone untrustworthy.
H – HELPFUL. Are your words helpful? Assisting others to make better decisions through offering good advice is also important.
I – INSPIRING. Are others inspired by what you are saying? People are greatly inspired by words which have the influence to prompt others to do amazing things.
N – NECESSARY. Do your words really need to be said? Useless chatter is annoying, while language that actively hurts others is wholly unnecessary.
K – KIND. Is what you want to say kind? We all know the saying "if you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing at all". Unkind sentences obviously have the power to hurt people.
"
Somehow even though I am 'ignoring' you I am still seeing your continued fixation. You must stop. You can't control others. Your comments really aren't making sense. I already have a headache...and I have no fucking idea why you are so FIXATED. I never said this is a 'toxic place'. I agreed there are toxic people. You're right- since I am not a mod I have 0 control over banning people. I DO have every right to report them and call them on their shit. I don't exactly understand what you are pissed about.if a person did something wrong report it to the mods and stop thinking you run the site. they will then do something about it if needed.
Aww don't say it sucks i'm suicidal i might cry, i bet it doesn't suck as much as finding your kids dead and SS was good to them and stopped them suffering. I really i hope i helped these peoples kids, i understand how shit their lives must of been with those type of parents. nothings going to bring them back, try as they might there gone forever.
the mods run the site how they seem fit and is you don't like it i guess thats just tuff look. no1 is forcing you to be in this 'toxic' place. I've been warned for calling someone a liar, nothing else thoughso i know they warn people,i did apologise for it though.