Too numb to be suicidal??

[ButterToast]

Feeling OK today. Broke my laptop and idk wtf happened. Slightly frustrated and kinda want to kill myself real bad. But now I feel absolutely nothing.

Not glad, not happy, not sad; not frustrated, literally nothing. It's just wow. Normally I'd be depressed af, but I feel zero thing. Dafuq

 

[nightlygem]

This is a pretty common phenomenon with people with depression. You may be experiencing depersonalization or derealization. Or you could just be experiencing too much emotion at once that your brain just shuts off. I'm sure there's a more technical way to describe that feeling, but that's how I would explain it.

 

[ButterToast]

This is a pretty common phenomenon with people with depression. You may be experiencing depersonalization or derealization. Or you could just be experiencing too much emotion at once that your brain just shuts off. I'm sure there's a more technical way to describe that feeling, but that's how I would explain it.

I do have history with emotional detachment. But it's never quite like this. Usually, the trigger to my suicidal thinking is when I fuck something up or fails at smth and feel completely worthless. The detachment comes if I'm experiencing something sad/painful but NOT caused by my own action. This is new to me lol

 

[silverxzz]

Sometimes it's just the little things. You could be trying so hard to get out of bed, brush your teeth, take a shower, and, as with most things, all it takes is for one thing to go wrong. The water is too cold, the toothpaste is empty, there is no food in the fridge. It just feels like nothing goes right at all, even somethings that are so small and insignificant that other people never have to worry about, or could just solve immediately. It feels like, when you've been hiking up a steep mountain for hours and you get to the top, there is just another mountain that's even steeper waiting to greet you. It just never stops.

Feeling numb is a way that the brain copes with some of these obstacles. It's important to reflect on yourself and how you genuinely feel, because numbness is a coping mechanism at the end of the day.

 

[dazed_dreamer]

This can be common with depression, if you have it. I've been largely numb and spacey for years now. I think it's a combo of pushing my emotions down from a young age to keep the peace, a symptom of depression, and detachment from stressful experiences. If this is a new experience for you, I'd really suggest trying to address it however you can--maybe that's talking to a professional, maybe it's reconnecting with your emotions in your own way, maybe it's something else. I only say this because I'm at a point where it feels helpless, and it's really upsetting, it makes me feel inhuman. It's a convenient and adaptive defense mechanism in the short-term, but devastating when chronic. If there's anything you think you can do to reconnect with your emotions, please do.

With that (sorry if the advice is unwanted), I'm sorry that's where you are. I wish you peace, a relaxing time, and gentle, positive emotions. I hope you feel better soon.

 

[ButterToast]

This can be common with depression, if you have it. I've been largely numb and spacey for years now. I think it's a combo of pushing my emotions down from a young age to keep the peace, a symptom of depression, and detachment from stressful experiences. If this is a new experience for you, I'd really suggest trying to address it however you can--maybe that's talking to a professional, maybe it's reconnecting with your emotions in your own way, maybe it's something else. I only say this because I'm at a point where it feels helpless, and it's really upsetting, it makes me feel inhuman. It's a convenient and adaptive defense mechanism in the short-term, but devastating when chronic. If there's anything you think you can do to reconnect with your emotions, please do.

With that (sorry if the advice is unwanted), I'm sorry that's where you are. I wish you peace, a relaxing time, and gentle, positive emotions. I hope you feel better soon.

Yeah, I've been like this since as long as I can remember. When a family dies, I felt little to none. Not sure how I can reconnect with my own emotion since I don't remember having one. The only time I've cried is mostly when it's something that other people won't cry about, which is funny. Family member died? Little sad but OK. A youtube I looked up to died? I cry a bit.

I've experienced numbness my whole life, idk what is what really. I can try reading people's emotion, but I need to use my brain to simulate that emotion first, unlike normal people who can just feel it. Lately I feel like I can't be happy rly, even when things go well, I'm feeling numb. I'm looking for a tall bridge or cliff around me just in case i want to ctb. And maybe write a couple of notes just in case idk. And yes, I do plan to ctb by either falling off height or car crashing at absurd speed (100+ mph) since most cars are designed to handle crash at 40mph or MAX 60mph [160kmph; 60kmph; 100kmph]
Y

Sometimes it's just the little things. You could be trying so hard to get out of bed, brush your teeth, take a shower, and, as with most things, all it takes is for one thing to go wrong. The water is too cold, the toothpaste is empty, there is no food in the fridge. It just feels like nothing goes right at all, even somethings that are so small and insignificant that other people never have to worry about, or could just solve immediately. It feels like, when you've been hiking up a steep mountain for hours and you get to the top, there is just another mountain that's even steeper waiting to greet you. It just never stops.

Feeling numb is a way that the brain copes with some of these obstacles. It's important to reflect on yourself and how you genuinely feel, because numbness is a coping mechanism at the end of the day.

Yeah, I read books and academic papers on this. It's just usually my numbness won't be triggered this much like this. It's like my brain expanded the numbness beyond the previous parameter.